


How I grew up

by wentworthjustmerandomstuff



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2018-11-12 10:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 57,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11160240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wentworthjustmerandomstuff/pseuds/wentworthjustmerandomstuff
Summary: This story is about Maggie's childhood and teens. What happened to her while growing up? How will Alex handle the situation. Will they grow as a couple?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> This is my first story writing about Supergirl! I love the show and this story has been on my mind for some time. I thought I would give it a go. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters in any way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> This is my first story regarding Supergirl and more precisely Alex and Maggie. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters!

Since Alex Danvers started working for the DEO and since promising her father, director Henshaw had always been very protective of her. The young woman was a strong, smart and wonderful person, she didn't need someone to hold her hand. But even so that he trusted and loved her like his own daughter and even more that it was against his own beliefs, from time to time he read her mind. It was something agent Danvers was aware of and didn't mind that much. So in doing that director Henshaw had discovered that since a couple of weeks Alex had been in a serious relationship with detective Sawyer. Maggie Sawyer was a great detective Henshaw thought and he couldn't be more happy that Alex had finally found someone she felt safe with, who she loved and who loved her back. So that night at the alien bar when Alex introduced Maggie to their group of friends Hank felt so proud of her!

As weeks went on the director witnessed some tender little moments between the two women, a small gesture, a little kiss on the cheek... Nothing not work appropriate. But Hank had read the uncertainty and worry about Maggie on Alex's mind. He didn't know what that was all about, but he was not planning on anyone hurting his daughter! So the next day when the detective was nearby and occupied with a task, Hank 'violated' her privacy and began reading her mind. The older man was shocked by all the pain the detective kept hidden behind her dimpled smile. Was Alex aware of all this? Director Henshaw knew that Maggie as well as Alex loved each other very deeply, their love was honest! But he now knew that Maggie had been through a lot of pain while growing up. It already started since she was a little kid, growing up in a very strict household. The detective had been on the end of a lot of physical violence and it had left his scars behind. Hank could read that Maggie felt not worthy, she loves Alex but she feels like she doesn't deserve her love at all. The director also got the impression that Maggie knew from a young age that she could fall in love with women. She had hidden it for so long but had expressed her love for her best friend when she was 14. After that moment everything charged so quickly for the young woman. Her parents were furious, as a girl you can't love girls. They felt ashamed and disgusted by their own daughter. Her father had hit her hard in the face, dropping a bag with some of her belongings at her feet before voicing that she wasn't welcome at home anymore. He had pushed her out of his home and in doing so Maggie had broken her wrist and bruised two ribs, because of the impact on the ground. Furthermore, Hank could read about Maggie's time living with her aunt. The older women was against Maggie being a lesbian but fed her and provided her a room to live in. During that time till up the moment Maggie started her education at the police academy the young girl was lost. She drunk a lot, smoked, went to bed with different girls and even boys (trying to fit into this world) and had not any real friends. The director was shocked by the unworthy feelings he could sense coming from her. But since meeting Alex, Maggie also felt hope, like maybe she deserved to be loved for who she is!

That day Hank was kind of lost in his own thoughts. Reading someone's mind is not something he does very often, because he wanted to respect others people thoughts and feelings. But this was about Alex! He doesn't want her to get hurt, she's tough but had been through a lot as well and she deserves someone good! That was the only reason why he read the detective her mind. But in doing so he had gained so much knowledge, facts he didn't feel private to. Should he talk to Maggie or Alex? Or just wait and see what happens? Would Maggie tell Alex about her childhood and being kicked out of her home? In the end Hank decided it would be best to wait and see. Alex and Maggie still had so much time getting to know one another and he wasn't going to ruin that!

A couple of weeks later he could sense a strange and kind of angry and disappointed mood coming from Alex. He wasn't about the read her mind, but he hoped she knew he was always there for her.

Later that night when Maggie entered her apartment Alex couldn't hide what she knew any longer.

"What's so urgent?" Maggie asked, while making her way toward Alex.

"I went to see Emily."

"Ooooh why?" Maggie questioned, not knowing and liking where this conversation was headed.

"Well I wanted to go talk to her after seeing how upset you were at the restaurant. I went to stick up for you." Alex voiced.

"Alex… It's not your problem to fix."

"You were never really gonna tell me you cheated on her, were you?" Alex asked, looking directly into Maggie's eyes.

"Aaahhh… That was… That was a long time ago. I did a horrible thing and I already feel bad about it. You wanna bring it up, so we could feel worse." Maggie spoke, her face screwing up.

"No no no no, look this isn't about the fact that you cheated, okay? We all have done dumb things. This is about the fact that you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth." Alex said, taking both glasses with liquor and brining them over to the couch where Maggie was taking a seat.

"I wanted to…"

"Listen, I thought a lot about this. You have a pattern of keeping things to yourself. You hid the truth about Emily. You made her seem like the bad guy and then before that you didn't tell me what really happened when you came out to your parents and how badly they reacted. You don't like to talk about you." Alex put into words carefully, seeing Maggie getting emotional.

"I know…" Maggie spoke, her voice small and uncertain.

"So I think… When your parents didn't accept you, you stopped trusting people that are closest to you. I totally get that. But Maggie you don't have to be guarded with me. I'm not here to judge you for things that happened in the past. I am here to help you heal." Alex continued, placing her hand tenderly against Maggie's cheek.

"You don't think I'm a bad person?" Maggie asked, her voice sounding small and breaking near the end.

"No, actually I always thought you were perfect. But it's really nice to see that you have problems too." Alex said, bringing Maggie in for a tight hug, having witnessed the sadness coming from her.

"Thank you." Maggie whispered, closing her eyes.

"You can talk to me Maggie, I'm here… Always." Alex whispered tenderly, stroking her girlfriend's back.

"I know and I'm sorry." Maggie voiced, hiding her face in the crook of Alex's neck.

"You're staying the night?" Alex more stated than asked. She wasn't about to leave Maggie alone to deal with her feelings, not anymore!

"Hmmm, you want me to?" The other woman spoke, her voice sounding young and small. Why was Alex always so perfect? Maggie thought.

"Of course I want you to Mag. I'm not angry with you, I'm worried about you." Alex spoke, breaking the hug so she could look Maggie in the eyes.

"I should have told you I'm sorry…" Maggie whispered.

Alex softly kissed the other woman on the cheek, peppering little kisses there.

To be continued if you want to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> I want to thank all of you who read the first chapter of this story and who motivated me to continue with all of your kind words. So here is a new chapter, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or any of the characters!

Alex held Maggie close to her for a long time, before making themselves more comfortable on the couch. The DEO agent put the TV on one of the cop shows she knew Maggie secretly liked. Maggie hadn't said anything since apologizing. Alex knew Maggie didn't like to talk about herself and about the things she felt or thought. She was a very closed-off person, although she supported Alex no matter what. Maggie had been her rock since she started questioning her sexuality and all the way through their relationship. Alex loves Maggie very deeply, although they had not yet expressed these words toward each other. Maggie was absolutely the sweetest and most kind person she knew. Okay Kara, her younger sister, was as sweet and kind as it can get as well. But Maggie was so supportive of all the people and aliens who meant well, always sticking up for the ones without a voice. Alex absolutely loved that about her girlfriend, one of the many things she adored about her girlfriend!

"Do you want to talk about it honey?" Alex asked when she felt Maggie finally relax against her body. Maggie was resting with her head on Alex's shoulder, one arm lying against her stomach. Although Maggie was paying attention toward the TV, she was thinking about what happened these last few days and all their conversations leading up to this moment with Alex.

"Is it okay if we talk later?" Maggie asked, her voice sounding uncertain. Maggie looked up from her place on Alex's shoulder, letting her girlfriend know that she would talk later. She trusted Alex, Maggie may even love Alex but there was a big difference between trusting someone and entrust things to them. Maggie felt different about Alex, she knew their relationship was something real. She wanted to make it last forever, she was ready for that kind of attachment and commitment! And she knew Alex was ready as well, they were the real thing! But there was so much Maggie had never told anyone… When things got too serious with her previous relationships, like her relationship with Emily, she did something stupid. The only intent behind her actions was to push away that person. People who got too close could hurt her, that had always been Maggie's first thought. So ruining everything good she ever knew and running away was what she did. And in the end it was what brought her to National City, but Maggie wanted and longed for more! She wanted more! And she wanted everything together with Alex, her girlfriend. Somehow Maggie needed to open up toward her, be honest… About everything! And Maggie would, she just needed a moment to order her thoughts.

"We can." Alex gently voiced, seeing the honest, but also uncertain look in Maggie's eyes. She figured Maggie would talk, when she was ready. Alex could wait a little longer, Maggie was worthy. Alex lovingly placed a tender kiss on Maggie's forehead, tucking away some loose hears behind her ear. Alex safely tucked Maggie body close to her own, figuring they both needed the close proximity of each other.

At the end of the show, Alex gently stroked Maggie's arm, silently asking her to look at her. Maggie hadn't said a word since asking Alex if they could talk later. It was a little after 11pm at the moment and although both women didn't need that much sleep Alex longed to hold her girlfriend close in bed. Alex never figured she would ever love sleeping with someone in her close proximity. She had never thought, before meeting Maggie, that she liked and even loved intimacy. She figured she wasn't built for it, but with Maggie she almost craved it. Alex loved being close to the other woman. Sharing the same space, the same bed and just simply holding each other until they fell asleep. Almost nothing could top that feeling and god Alex loved making love to Maggie. Even when everything still felt so new to her, sharing that intimate act had never felt more right to her. Maggie was always so gentle and caring, giving Alex all the time she needed to get used to so many new and wonderful feelings. Although it was not the same, Alex wanted to give Maggie the same kindness. Rationally she knew cheating was bad, no matter what. But she figured there was more behind the story of simply Maggie cheating on Emily. The emotions Alex had witnessed not many hours ago and during the last few days, since bumping into the other woman, was enough to know there was more history between the two women.

"You're ready to go to bed?" Alex asked, looking into Maggie's bleary gaze. Maggie was in a whole different world it seems.

"Hmmm…" The other woman murmured. Inside Maggie was kind of panicking, she wasn't yet ready to talk. She wanted to be honest, but she had no idea where to start. Should she tell Alex about her home, how she grew up or just more about Emily and why she cheated? Maggie silently followed Alex toward the bathroom, both women brushed their teeth and changed into their nightwear. Maggie was taking her time, trying to prolong the moment when she needed to start talking. But Alex knew her better than she thought…

"You don't have to talk right now Mag. I want us to talk more honestly, but at your terms. I'm not going to push you into telling me something you're not ready for. I just want you to know that I'm here, I can listen and I want you to trust me." Alex softly spoke, while embracing Maggie from behind. Alex dropped her head on Maggie's shoulder and placed both arms around her small waist, her front closely pressed against her girlfriends back.

"Thank you…" Maggie answered. Alex could hear the tears in Maggie's voice, which almost broke her heart. What was really going on in that beautiful mind of hers? Alex thought. Maggie turned in Alex's arms so that both women were looking into each other's eyes.

"I do trust you Alex." Maggie started nervously. "And I will tell you the truth, I promise. But not tonight please." Maggie almost pleaded, a lonely tear escaping her eye. Why was this so hard, Maggie thought. She had the most supported and amazing girlfriend and yet talking about her past and her thoughts and feelings was so hard.

Alex lovingly kissed away the tear on Maggie's cheek, before kissing her lightly on the lips. Afterward she rested her forehead against Maggie's.

"Okay… We've got time honey. Let's get into bed now, hé?" Alex put into words calmly.

"Hmmm…" Maggie responded.

Alex never broke contact completely when making their way toward the bed, always touching Maggie in one way or another. When both women where under the protection of their covers, Maggie placed her head right above Alex her left breast, trying to gather her thoughts and feelings when hearing and feeling the steady heartbeat of her girlfriend. Alex stayed on her back and protectively placed an arm around Maggie's waist, guessing she needed the contact. The agent didn't mind the weight of her girlfriend almost completely on her, she actually loved it. It made her feel calm and safe.

"Thank you for giving me time." Maggie whispered, her hot breath on Alex's skin.

"You don't have to thank me Maggie. Try to get some sleep babe, tomorrow there's a whole new day." Alex told her, kissing the top of Maggie's head before closing her eyes.

"Okay… Sleep well." Maggie spoke, sleep already catching up on her. The last words Alex could hear where a quiet thank you, before Maggie drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the feedback it always welcome, as well as thoughts on how to continue the story.
> 
> Thx!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> It's been too long, but finally a new chapter! Thank you all for sticking around, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or any of the characters!

For the next two days Alex and Maggie just went with what was normal for them. Both women went to work and respectively did their job. But over these two days Alex had given Maggie time and space. Maggie had promised she would talk and the DEO-agent believed her, but she saw the other woman struggling. Maggie was quiet, far more to herself and although they had shared some sweet and tender moments over these two days the detective was not her through self.

Friday night, a little after 7pm, Maggie entered Alex's apartment. Alex had been prepping an easy meal, being that cooking was not a real talent of her.

"Hey honey." Alex greeted Maggie happily. The couple had the weekend off, something that didn't happen that often and made Alex very happy.

"Hey…" Maggie spoke, making her way toward Alex and kissing her on the lips tenderly.

"Hmmm…" Alex hummed against the other woman's lips, enjoying the close contact after a day full of work. Work had been slow, mostly filled with paperwork something that Alex did not like at all.

"What are you cooking?" Maggie asked. Meanwhile removing her jacket and shoes, glad to be at the place she slowly starts to call home.

"Just a simple pasta, you know that's all I can really kind of cook." Alex spoke, a playful smile plastered on her face. "It's almost ready."

"It will be tasty, don't doubt yourself Alex." Maggie responded, making her way back to her girlfriend. "Alex…" Maggie started, a serious expression on her face. "We should talk after dinner… I think." The woman concluded, not able to make direct eye-contact with Alex.

"Hmmm…?" Alex voiced, giving Maggie the chance to say more if she wanted to.

"I promised you that we would talk. Thank you Alex for giving me space this week, but being there nevertheless." Maggie put into words, her eyes already filling with tears. Maggie was so thankful that Alex had giving her all the time she needed to gather her thoughts and feelings and to be brave to finally share her emotions. The last two days Maggie had mentally made a list of why she should or shouldn't be honest with Alex. It had helped her to really realize that she could trust Alex no matter what and that she loved the woman deeply. So keeping things from her would ruin their opportunity to make their relationship last for a hopefully very long time. Maggie knew it was going to be hard, never before had she shared any details about her childhood or her home with anyone, always shying away from the topic or just giving her previous girlfriends a vague answer. They had never asked for any more details, which she was thankful for. But Alex deserved the truth, she did!

"You're so welcome honey, you don't have to thank me." Alex answered lovingly, placing one hand on Maggie's cheek, the other around the other woman's slender waist.

"I don't wanna lie to you Alex." Maggie whispered, her throat closing up because of the overwhelming emotions she was feeling. "I don't want to lose you." Maggie continued, tears slowly falling on her cheeks trying so desperately to compose herself.

"You won't lose me Maggie!" Alex voiced with all the love she could muster. The DEO-agent tugged Maggie close to her body, embracing the woman in a tight hug. "You won't, I care so much about you and I'm so in love with you!" Alex continued, stroking Maggie's back tenderly. Alex was hurting on the inside, what was going on with her girlfriend? What was Maggie hiding from her? What made her cry… Maggie never cries?

"I feel tired…" Maggie whispered, her head resting on Alex's neck. Her breath tickling her girlfriend's neck. Alex thought Maggie's voice sounded off, uncertain and small something she didn't like at all.

"Hmmm…" Alex hummed, no words were good enough to express that she was there for Maggie whatever was going on with her.

"Alex…" Maggie whined, not feeling good at the moment.

"I'm right here." Alex spoke quietly, weaving her fingers through Maggie's long hair over and over again. Alex knew that motion calmed down the woman.

The couple stayed standing in the kitchen, while holding onto each other, for a long time. Quickly after Alex had started to embrace Maggie in a tight hug, she had put out the stove, guessing their dinner could wait. The DEO-agent couldn't care less, there were far more important things than food. The agent could feel Maggie's rapid heartbeat against her own chest. Almost in every situation hearing or feeling the woman's steady heartbeat would ground Alex, it would remind her of the things that were truly important in her life. In these moments the agent was once again reminded that so many things she worried about were nothing to worry about. It comes down to the people you care about, and god she cared about the woman currently in her arms. But feeling the rapid heartbeat of her girlfriend at the moment was something she didn't liked. It meant most likely that something was bothering or hurting the woman. Alex hoped that they could talk more once Maggie calmed down, she kind of needed to know what was going on. Not because she felt like Maggie owned it to her, but because she wanted to protect HER girlfriend. It was not fair that Maggie had to deal with all these things on her own. Both women were into this relationship together!

"I'm okay…" Maggie whispered after some time, entangling herself from Alex's arms. She quickly wiped away the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand, trying to compose herself. But she couldn't quite hide the sad look on her face from Alex...

"You're not honey, but that's okay." Alex spoke tenderly, stroking Maggie's cheeks with the tips of her fingers and in doing so removing the last of her girlfriend's tears. "What can I do Maggie?"

"Just… Don't be angry…" Maggie choked, her eyes already getting clouded with fresh tears.

"Why would I be angry Maggie?" Alex questioned, not liking the uncertainty she could hear in Maggie's voice and seeing her eyes filling with tears yet again.

"Later… When I tell you about Emily and so… I know I made a lot of mistakes and I do regret making them." Maggie said, in between the spoken words trying to not cry yet again.

"We all have made mistakes Maggie, but I can promise you that I will listen and not get angry with you." Alex responded, trying to look directly into Maggie's eyes so that the other woman could see that she wasn't lying.

"You promise?" Maggie asked, a youngness in her voice that Alex hadn't heard before.

"I promise sweetheart." Alex responded, placing a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Okay… I'm not really that hungry, sorry." Maggie voiced, bringing her forehead against Alex's.

"That's okay Mag. We can eat later when we feel like it." Alex spoke, encircling both arms around Maggie's waist.

Maggie tenderly kissed Alex on the lips before breaking all contact with the agent. The detective placed some distance between, mentally preparing herself to open up toward Alex. Maggie made her way toward the couch and sat down, patting the place next to her to invite Alex to sit down next to her. The DEO-agent sat down next to her girlfriend, being reminded of the same situation just a few days ago. Alex tenderly squeezed Maggie's knee, letting her know she was there for her.

Maggie took a deep breath before she started speaking. "You know that I have a younger sister? Her name is Rosa. When we were younger we used to be really close. We weren't allowed to do a lot of things, beside going to school and doing our chores at home. But we were fed and taken care of. I didn't know how things worked in other families… I know we were not allowed to have any birthday parties, but that was okay. My dad… when he got angry. It was scary Alex." Maggie continued, her voice getting quieter and quieter while she continued speaking. Maggie was lost in her own world at the moment, looking down at her hands that were resting on her lap.

"He used to hit us… I tried to protect my sister, but sometimes he just wouldn't listen. I think my mother didn't agree with his way of fostering us, but she never stopped him either. I think he may hit her as well, I don't know. It did not happen often, but it was scary… So scary." Maggie put into words, her voice trembling remembering the events.

Alex was overwhelmed with the information Maggie was sharing, she had never thought that her parents would abuse her. And apparently Maggie had a sister Alex didn't know about. The agent gently placed a hand on Maggie's back, showing her she was safe. Alex could feel how tense the woman was.

"I knew from a young age that I wasn't into boys, I never really liked them like other girls of my class did. Elisa, she was my best friend, we did everything together. I spend a lot of time at her place. It was the first time I felt at home or more at home, a warmer home than I knew. A few years later I developed these intense feelings for Elisa. I thought it was just because we were so close, but after a while I realized it was more than that. I knew my father as well as my mom were against gay people. They used to make these inappropriate comments and it somehow always hurt me. But I was this stupid kid and I was feeling all these emotions, so I wrote a card to Elisa on Valentine and…" Maggie spoke, near the end tears falling freely on her cheeks, her throat closing up.

"They were so angry… My father pushed me out of the house. It hurt so much. I broke my arm and bruised a few ribs, because of the impact on the ground. I lived with an aunt from my mother's side, but I hated it, I hated myself. I lost my sister, my parents, myself… Suddenly everybody knew that I was a lesbian and it was all so confusing. I was only 14 and everyone was pointing a finger at me. I locked myself up for the next three years, hardly had any friends. I just went to school. When I was 17 I graduated high school and I got a scholarship. So I left everyone and everything behind. When I first attended college, it was the very first time that I truly felt free. I didn't know who I was and I tried to figure that out. I thought falling in love with women was such a bad thing, because of what happened. So I slept with a lot of men, trying to like them but I hated it. I was disgusted of myself. But then I met Emily, and all these feelings I experienced when I was with Elisa came back." Maggie rambled, all her emotions coming out all at once.

"Emily gave me time and although I wasn't strong enough to talk about what had happened in the past we became best friends and later girlfriends. She was the first woman I made love to and finally it all made sense. It felt so amazing and I finally started to feel like myself, getting to know myself." Maggie told Alex, although she was crying a small smile was plastered on her face.

"You loved her." Alex voiced quietly.

"I did, we were together for five years. It was my first serious relationship and I learned to be more like myself and to accept myself. It was big, too big…" Maggie said, losing her voice near the end. Alex could only guess how much energy this was costing the other woman, opening up like that.

"I made a mistake, a really big mistake when I cheated on Emily. It got all too serious and even when I loved her so much I guess I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy. Like I didn't deserve her, that I was not good enough. I couldn't make her happy, not truly. It was so wrong of me to blame her for our break up. I was my fault…" Maggie put into words carefully, her voice full of pain.

"I didn't want to make that mistake again, so I never had a real relationship afterward. I dated a lot of women, but only for a couple of weeks, a few months max. I don't want to screw it up with you Alex…" Maggie cried openly.

"You won't, I won't let you." Alex spoke determinedly, taking Maggie's face in her hands hating the hurtful look on her face and in her girlfriend's eyes.

"I'm sorry…" Maggie whispered, unable to look at Alex. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. Come here honey." Alex lovingly spoke, tugging Maggie's body close and embracing her in a tight hug.

Once in Alex her arms Maggie broke down completely, utterly spend. She felt so guilty because of the Emily situation. But it was also the first time she ever told someone that much about her parents, her home and her younger years. It was so difficult…

"You're safe honey. I've got you." Alex whispered repeatedly against Maggie's ear. It was hurting Alex to see her girlfriend this upset, so broken...

Will be continued!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who took the time to leave something behind! All the feedback is always welcome!
> 
> PS. I graduated college, university here I come (that's why I was gone for that long)...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Back again with a new chapter, enjoy and thank you all for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

Previously:

Once in Alex her arms Maggie broke down completely, utterly spend. She felt so guilty because of the Emily situation. But it was also the first time she ever told someone that much about her parents, her home and her younger years. It was so difficult…

"You're safe honey. I've got you." Alex whispered repeatedly against Maggie's ear. It was hurting Alex to see her girlfriend this upset, so broken…

Chapter 4:

It was a long time before Maggie's breathing returned to normal, her sobs turning into silent tears dripping from her eyes. At the moment she was all cuddled up against Alex, her body safely tucked against her girlfriend's. Alex had protectively placed both arms around Maggie's torso, holding her as close as possible without suffocating the other woman.

Maggie had no energy left, her body slumping against Alex's, feeling emotional exhausted. Alex felt Maggie's breathing slowing down, her head nestled in the nape of her neck. The agent could feel Maggie trembling in her arms from time to time, guessing she was cold as a result of the mixt emotions she experienced. Alex lovingly placed a blanket, that was resting on the back of the couch, over both the bodies hoping it would make a difference.

"Do you need something?" Alex asked tenderly. "Can I do something Mag?"

"Hmmnooo, thank you." Maggie responded, her voice hoarse from all the crying.

"You want some tea?" Alex spoke, hearing the cracks in Maggie's voice.

Maggie's response was to snuggle closer into Alex's body, just wanting to be close to her. The couple stayed on the couch for a long time, time getting lost on them and no words spoken. Alex could feel Maggie slowly drifting in and out of sleep, her entire weight resting against her.

"Maggie you want to go change and go to bed?" Alex voiced.

Maggie stirred in Alex's arms, her whole body tensing up. She didn't want to move, afraid of what would happen. Alex had not been angry with her just yet, but that could change any moment. As of hearing Maggie's thoughts, Alex spoke up:

"I'm not going anywhere Maggie, I promise. I just think the bed would be more comfortable." Alex responded, turning their bodies around a bit so Alex could look into Maggie's eyes. The uncertainty and pain Alex could read into them was heartbreaking.

"I'm right here sweetie." Alex whispered, before catching Maggie's lips in a tender kiss. The agent didn't wait for an answer, she gently pushed both of them up but in doing so not losing a grip around her girlfriend's body. Alex leaded them toward the bathroom and helped Maggie to get changed. Maggie was not making any eye-contact at the moment, just letting Alex take a lead.

"I'm going to make us some tea. You just fresh yourself up honey." Alex gently spoke, seeing the lost look on Maggie's face. She quickly changed into her sleepwear as well before speaking again. "I will be right back." Alex continued, afterward placing a small kiss on the side of Maggie's head.

Alex hurried herself toward the kitchen, making them some tea. While the water was boiling Alex took some crackers from the cupboard as well, because sleeping on an empty stomach after crying was not always a good idea. Before making her way toward the bedroom, where she hoped Maggie would be, Alex grabbed an extra bottle of water and took a deep breath. She wanted to be there for Maggie no matter what, but her story had touched Alex and she was feeling emotional as well. But right now that was not important, making sure Maggie felt safe was!

"Hey." Alex said. She took her place on the bed, sitting down next to Maggie on top of the covers. The detective was propped up on the bed as well, her back against her headboard. Her skin was still looking paler than normal, her eyes hollow, but she still gave Alex a small smile. Alex was overwhelmed by Maggie's strength.

"Hey." Maggie whispered.

"You should try to eat and drink something Mag." Alex spoke, offering the food and drink.

"Thank you." Maggie answered, brushing Alex's hand when accepting the goods. Maggie hoped that Alex understood that she was saying thank you not only for the crackers and tea she was offering, but for everything what had happened between them tonight. Never before had anyone been so understanding and kind! Just giving her what she wanted or needed.

Alex could tell Maggie was struggling to keep herself together. She ate some crackers slowly and sipped her tea, but she kept herself quiet not looking anywhere but her hands. Maggie did not know how to behave herself… She felt like she couldn't shut out the memories, they kept replaying themselves on her mind over and over again. On the one hand she desperately wanted to be alone, she felt like crying again and she didn't want Alex to see that. But on the other side she wanted to be as close to Alex as humanly possible, she wanted to forget everything and feel safe. And Alex made her feel safe, always. Alex kept her distance while Maggie was eating, the only contact was her hand resting on Maggie's leg. Maggie looked lost and Alex did not like that one bit!

It took all the remaining energy and strength of the woman to ask for the next thing, but Maggie was tired and didn't want continue feeling this disconnected.

"Alex?" Maggie started, placing her empty cutlery on her bedside table.

"Hmmm?" Alex hummed, looking up at Maggie.

"I need you… I want you." The detective whispered, a tear making his way down her cheek. While saying those words Maggie straddled Alex's hips, taking her girlfriend's face in her hands and kissing her deeply. She wanted to make love to Alex, and forget everything else! Maggie grinded down on Alex's lap, urging the other woman to respond. But Alex stopped Maggie's actions, knowing by head and heart that she couldn't do this. They couldn't have sex right now, the reasons behind it were wrong. Alex understand the feeling of wanting to forget everything by 'screwing' someone to put it so ungracefully. But she didn't want that for them, she wanted to give Maggie the solace and comfort she needed, but not like this!

"Honey." Alex began, cupping Maggie's cheeks between her hands, feeling Maggie's tears. "We can't, not like this."

"You don't want me?" Maggie uttered, a part of her breaking inside. Alex didn't want her? Was this the point where she got angry and would told her she didn't want her anymore? That she wasn't worthy!

Alex could feel Maggie's heartbeat rising, her breathing getting unregular. Did Maggie not know that Alex was so into her, that she was so in love with her and that making love was something she craved every day? Did Maggie not understand that because she was so in love she couldn't have sex right now. It would most likely hurt them both in the end.

"Sweetheart." Alex spoke in the most tender voice she could muster. The agent tilted Maggie's chin up with her index and placed on of Maggie's hands over her own heart. "I want you, don't ever doubt that. But now… you want to forget and I get that, but Maggie this is not the right way. I'm here for you, but we won't be having sex right now." Alex put into words tentatively. Alex lovingly gave Maggie a long kiss on the lips, before entangling their bodies from one position to another. Alex laid herself on her back and brought Maggie down with her, letting her cuddle into her side. While doing so Alex put the covers over them, knowing it would make help Maggie to feel more secure.

"I'm here for you Mag. You can talk if you want or we can just lay like this until we fall asleep." Alex told her girlfriend, both arms protectively around her.

Maggie knew Alex was right, they couldn't have sex like this. It would maybe give her some comfort until she came down from her high and reality kicked back in. And Maggie cared too much about Alex to 'use' her like that. They made love and what would transpire between them if Alex agreed right now would be anything but love. It would be fast, hurried and maybe even painful and although that was okay when both parties agreed she would regret it in this moment.

"I'm sorry, I know you're right. I'm just… sad I guess and I want to forget." Maggie spoke in a low voice, her head resting on Alex's chest.

Alex tenderly stroked Maggie's back, letting her know that she had heard her. The DEO-agent kept caressing Maggie's body even after she was sure her girlfriend had fallen asleep. Alex hoped Maggie would get some sleep, knowing sleep usually make things better the next day. Witnessing Maggie's pain had been hard, but Alex also felt grateful that Maggie trusted her. She was so smitten for this woman! Images of a small Maggie flashed before Alex's eyes, but in the end the woman fell asleep dreaming about them and their future a small smile gracing her lips!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reading all of your feedback, it keeps me going! Be back soon!
> 
> Greetz


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter! I don't have a lot of time right now, so updates will be slower. But I still have lots of ideas where I want this story to go.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

Previously:

Alex tenderly stroked Maggie's back, letting her know that she had heard her. The DEO-agent kept caressing Maggie's body even after she was sure her girlfriend had fallen asleep. Alex hoped Maggie would get some sleep, knowing sleep usually make things better the next day. Witnessing Maggie's pain had been hard, but Alex also felt grateful that Maggie trusted her. She was so smitten for this woman! Images of a small Maggie flashed before Alex's eyes, but in the end the woman fell asleep dreaming about them and their future a small smile gracing her lips!

Chapter 5:

The next morning Alex woke up first, Maggie cuddled into her side. Her head resting on Alex's chest. Alex still felt overwhelmed with everything the other woman had shared. Alex knew or more guessed, before their conversation last night, that Maggie hadn't know a 'normal' childhood. But hearing some of her stories and seeing her upset and emotional made Alex feel sad. Last night was the first time Alex had seen her girlfriend that sad, crying so hard... During the night Maggie had woken up two times, tears streaming down from her eyes. Alex could see the panicked look on her face, but Maggie didn't want to talk about what woke her up. Alex could understand that so she just held Maggie a little closer, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and hoping her presence would somehow help the other woman. From time to time a tremble went through Maggie's body and Alex could feel her tears soaking through her shirt. Alex hoped they could talk more, but she wasn't about to push the other woman in any way. She felt so protective of Maggie, which was something new for the DEO-agent. She had all her life been protective of her younger sister, although she could more than handle herself, but Alex knew she had a hard time opening up and trusting other people. She never liked being intimate, Kara being the exception, but Maggie had changed all that. So it was hurting her to see Maggie in this emotional 'state'...

Alex looked down at her girlfriend, still sleeping peacefully. The agent gently placed a kiss on top of Maggie's head, recomposing her arms around the other woman's waist. Alex could look at Maggie forever and while she slept the agent had the opportunity to gaze at her without the change of being caught.

...

An hour later Maggie started to stir, slowly waking up. The woman snuggled closer into Alex's body, almost lying completely on top of her. Maggie felt confused at the moment. On one side she felt ashamed, expressing her feelings the way she did yesterday. She didn't know how to behave herself. She didn't want to talk about it anymore, but she knew she needed to be more open about her past. But on the other hand Maggie felt relieved, she felt lighter somehow. Sharing things about her past was hard and she felt so exposed yesterday. But she knew she could trust Alex, no matter what! Maggie just wanted to be close to Alex right now, to just cuddle her for some time and that was exactly what she did. She nestled herself as close to Alex as possible, without hurting the woman! She felt Alex's arms tighten around her waist, feeling safe and secure as well.

Both women drifted in and out of sleep for the next hour, not in any rush to get up. In the end, it was Alex who broke the comfortable silence, knowing Maggie was awake for some time.

"Morning sweetheart." Alex tenderly voiced, placing another sweet kiss on top of Maggie's head.

"Morning..." Maggie spoke, nuzzling facedown between Alex's breast and kissing the exposed skin there.

Alex did not really know how to go from here. She wanted to let Maggie know that she was here for her and that the things Maggie had told her yesterday didn't change anything between them. On the contrary, she felt even more connected and protective toward her. But she also wanted Maggie to know that she could talk more about it if she wanted to. Alex wasn't going to pressure the other woman, but her girlfriend needed to know that she was here no matter what. But Alex didn't get the change to voice her thoughts, being that Maggie started to talk:

"Sorry about yesterday." Maggie spoke, her voice still a little raw from all the crying last night. She placed a small kiss above Alex's heart, not able to look into her eyes.

"Hey hey..." Alex intervened. "Look at me Maggie." Alex voiced, urging Maggie to come face to face with her. Alex let one hand rest around her girlfriend's waist, the other under Maggie's chin making the other woman look at her.

Only when Maggie made eye-contact Alex continued speaking. "You have nothing, absolutely nothing to be sorry about. You hear me honey?! I feel honored that you trusted me with your story Maggie." Alex spoke determinedly, she didn't want Maggie to feel sorry. That was the last thing she wanted! Alex could see the uncertain look in het other woman's eyes and she wished she could take it all away...

"Don't ever feel like you have to say sorry, when you trust me with something that personal. I'm here, always!" Alex continued, stroking Maggie's chin and cheek. Afterward peppering Maggie's face with little kisses, going from her neck toward her mouth.

"Thank you." Maggie whispered, unable to maintain eye-contact with her lover.

"Come here you woman!" Alex said, trying to lighter up the mood. She didn't want Maggie to feel sorry for sharing things about her past! Alex tickled Maggie's sides, in need to see her 'happy' dimples. Alex was not used to see such a 'dark' side of Maggie. She's always been so supportive and happy!

A laugh escaped Maggie's mouth, Alex more than knew that she cannot wear stand tickling. The detective wiggled her body on top of Alex's.

"Thank you." Maggie responded, when she could talk again. The detective looked straight into Alex her eyes, she felt so grateful having Alex as her girlfriend. Afterward Maggie took Alex's upper lip between hers, kissing her deeply. A soft moan escapted Alex's mouth, enjoying Maggie's ministrations a lot. The woman was very talented in that departement, one of her many talents!

Both women were breathing deeply after the kiss ended. Maggie rested her head against Alex's neck, breathing in her unique sense. Maggie never thought a sense could make her feel so much at home. The couple stayed locked in that way for some time, just simply enjoying the other.

"Can we just pretend last night didn't happen?" Maggie asked all of a sudden. Maggie wasn't used to feeling this way. Never before knew anyone anything in detail about her past, and because of that she felt exposed. Although she rationally knew Alex would never use that information against her, it was the only thing she could think about. She needed to protect herself! To pretend yesterday did not happen.

Alex had thought about the possibility that Maggie would try to 'erase' what transpired between them last night, like she hadn't opened up the way she had. It was something Alex would do herself, guessing how vulnerable Maggie must be feeling. Alex asked Maggie to lay down on her back. She didn't want Maggie to feel trapped under Alex's weight, but Alex wanted to get through the woman and felt like changing positions would benefit the situation. Alex propped herself up on her side, facing Maggie. One hand was resting on the woman's waist, the other hand supported her own weight. Maggie was looking anywhere but at Alex, feeling too vulnerable.

"Maggie, can you please look at me?" Alex asked, placing a sweet kiss on her girlfriend's forehead.

Only when Maggie looked up at her, Alex continued talking: "You don't have to hide from me Maggie, I've told you I'm not here to judge you."

"I know, but… I've never felt what I'm feeling right now before. And I know I can trust you, it's just… I don't want to talk about it anymore right now." Maggie kind of whispered, feeling herself getting emotional once again.

"And you don't have to honey. All of this is on your terms, I'm not about to push you. Okay?" Alex responded kindly.

"Okay…" Maggie spoke, a deep sigh escaping her mouth.

"I'm right here." Alex tenderly voice, seeing the confused and emotional look in Maggie's eyes. Alex lovingly kissed Maggie on the lips, letting the other woman know that she was safe!

When the kiss ended Maggie drew Alex in for a big hug, in need to feel the woman close to her own body.

"Can we be lazy today?" Maggie asked after some silence, nuzzling Alex's neck.

"Sure we can, we do have game-night at Kara's place tonight. You feel up to it, we can cancel?" Alex put into words, looking up into Maggie's eyes for a moment.

"Not at the moment, but we should go."

"I will be fun." Alex said, knowing that Maggie enjoyed game-night a lot.

"Yeah…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with this story! As usual, reviews are more than welcome! I love all of them you guys leave behind!
> 
> Greetz!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> It's been way too long since I've done any writing and that's not good! I need to be more stricked about keeping up with a schedule. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or any of the characters!

It was 5.30pm when the couple decided to get ready for game-night. Although Maggie felt a lot better than this morning, she was still more withdrawn than usual and that hadn't escaped Alex's attention. All day long both women had snuggled closely on the couch, watching movies all day. The only time one of them got up was to use the bathroom or grab some food to snack for them both. Alex could feel the slight tension in the other woman's body, one of the signs of how much yesterday had taken on Maggie's mind and body. But Maggie was a strong woman, Alex knew that much, and she hoped that the detective knew that she was here for her!

Once Alex was dressed she went looking for her girlfriend, spotting her in 'her' kitchen making some coffee for the both of them before leaving.

"Hey gorgeous." Alex whispered, placing both arms around Maggie's waist from behind, while also resting her chin on the shorter woman's shoulder.

"Hey yourself." Maggie answered, turning around in Alex's arms and looking at her.

"You know we can stay home, Kara and the others will understand." Alex voiced, feeling like Maggie was still not fully herself.

"No, we should go." Maggie spoke.

"But…" Alex started.

"I'm okay Alex, I promise. And beside I love spending time with your friends." The detective interrupted. She had never told Alex how much she valued game-nights and all the other moments she got to spend with Alex her friends and family. It made her feel like she belonged somewhere.

"They're not just my friends, there are your friends as well Mag." Alex said determinedly, looking Maggie straight in the eyes while accepting the cup of coffee Maggie was offering her.

"Yea whatever." Maggie ended the conversation, kissing Alex on the lips swiftly. "Come on we should leave." The detective spoke, drinking the last of her own coffee.

"I mean it." Alex said, gripping Maggie upper arm, squeezing it lightly. Alex knew Maggie deflected things that were too emotional charged (especially after last night), but the DEO-agent would make sure that Maggie knew she belonged. That she was and is a part of her group of friends and family.

"I know." Maggie whispered, grabbing her stuff and outstretching a hand for Alex to grab.

\-----

The whole bunch was present, including Kara, James, Winn, Alex, Maggie, M'gann and even the director. Kara had asked Lena to join them as well, but work kept her from coming. The pizza had already been delivered, teams made and game chosen. Alex persisted to team up with Maggie, in need to be close to her girlfriend. Maggie had made small talk to all of the friends, but her smile had never fully reached her eyes. Kara had given Alex some discrete looks, silently asking if something was wrong, but Alex had just shrugged. Now was not the time nor the place to talk privately and even more it was Maggie's story. She would give Kara some general story, but it was not her place to share more.

The moment Alex and Maggie had entered Kara's place, Hank had picked up on the 'sad' mood coming from both women. Maggie was trying too hard to 'pretend' that everything was okay, while Alex was acting even more protective toward her girlfriend. The director respected both women, but it was impossible to shut out the emotions coming from them both. Hank loves spending time with all the people in this room, although he would never say that with so many words. They were all good people, men and women who fought for the good. But each of them had not known a normal life, each having experienced their own kind of 'trauma'. He guessed that that made them so strong as individuals and even stronger as working in group.  
The moment Alex left the room to grab a new drink for her and Maggie in the kitchen, the director followed without being to notable.

"Hey." Alex spoke, smiling. "You want a new drink as well?"

"No thanks I'm good. Alex can I ask something of a personal matter?" The director asked.

"Yes?" Alex voiced, not sure where this conversation was going. She trusted Hank/ J'onn (whatever his name, her trust in him was deeply). These last few years he had acted as a father figure and so much more and she respected him no matter what.

"Are you and Maggie doing okay?" Hank spoke friendly.

"We are fine J'onn." Alex responded, a little too quickly for his liking.

"I hope you know that you can talk to me. The same goes for Maggie." The director continued.

"I know J'onn, but… It's not my story to tell. Maggie and I are good, it's just a personal thing of Maggie…" Alex put into words, her voice losing his sound near the end. She felt so protective of her girlfriend, and although she had stayed strong last night it had been hard to see Maggie that way.

"I respect you and Maggie, Alex, but it's not easy to simply ignore the emotions coming from you both."

"Thank you for your concern J'onn, we both appreciate that. Tomorrow will be a better day." Alex spoke, placing her hand on the director's shoulder. Showing him that she appreciated his concern, before making her way back to Maggie and the gang. The agent placed a tender kiss on her girlfriend's cheek before handing her the new beer.

\-----

It was nearly 12.00pm before each of the friends went their own way, going back to their respectively homes.

Once both women were in bed, Maggie immediately curled herself into Alex's body. She knew she had been less talkative during game-night, and although nobody had asked any questions she had seen J'onn talking to Alex.

"Does he know?" Maggie asked, knowing Alex would pick up what she was talking about.

"J'onn didn't read your or mine mind, if that's what you're asking. I guess he may have read your mind at one point, and he definitely read mine more than once. But he kind of picked up on our moods or something. He respects us Maggie, he was just concerned I guess." Alex put into words, turning around so she was looking at her girlfriend.

"Okay…" Maggie responded hesitantly.

"But…?"

"What I told you is private Alex, I don't want anyone else to know about it. That's all." Maggie put into words slowly.

"I understand sweetheart, but you can trust J'onn. He most likely have read your mind, so he may know a lot of things about you. But he won't tell anyone, that I can promise you." Alex spoke, lovingly cupping Maggie's cheeks.

"Okay." Maggie whispered, kissing Alex on the cheek afterward. "It's all so stupid! It happened a million years ago and yet somehow I hate to think or talk about it. I just want to pretend all these things never happened and that I can be just who I am today without my past." Maggie spoke, getting more and more frustrated near the end.

Alex kept quiet, stroking Maggie's back until she felt the other woman calm down. "You don't have to pretend you're fine Mag, when you're not. Not with me! I can't image what you're been through when you were younger sweetie, but I do know that keeping it all in is not always the answer. I'm not saying that you should talk, I'm not gonna pressure you. But keeping it all for yourself…" Alex said, not wanting to hurt her girlfriend in any way.

"Is maybe not such a good idea as well." Maggie finished Alex's sentence, catching up on Alex's thoughts.

"Maybe." Alex whispered, kissing the detective's lips lightly.

"Maybe." Maggie said, a small smile plastered on her face despite the serious situation. Both women were lying on their sides, facing each other.

"Maggie?" Alex started, breaking their comfortable silence.

"Hmmm?" Maggie hummed, feeling quite tired. The emotions of last week were seriously catching up on her. Fortunately, tomorrow was Sunday and both of them had the day off, so sleeping in was a very real option.

"You know that who you are today is partly because of your past. And honestly, I… kind of love who you are." Alex continued, her cheeks flushing red because of her exclamation. "You know, you're smart, an amazing detective, so beautiful and a wonderful girlfriend." The agent ended, feeling the heat on her cheeks but not shying away from looking at her girl.

Maggie felt overwhelmed by Alex her sweet and honest words and loving her flushed cheeks. The detective pushed herself closer toward Alex and lovingly nipped her ear, before whispering the following words:

"I kind of love who you are as well." Maggie whispered, before catching Alex's lips in a deep kiss leaving them both breathless.

"Can we make love now?" the smaller woman asked, still a little uncertain after last night events and Alex's rightful rejection.

"Only if you're not too tired." Alex smirked. She knew Maggie was tired, and that the last few days had been emotionally draining. But she longed to be close to Maggie and show her how much she cared about the other woman. She had rejected Maggie last night, and she still felt right about doing but the circumstances were different now. And even so Maggie was still hurting, Alex felt that making love to her now would not left both feeling bad about themselves in the end.

"Come here." Alex smiled, tugging Maggie on top of her.

"Thank you." Maggie voiced quietly, before getting lost in her girlfriend loving actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say thank you to everyone of you who read my story and to all of you who leave behind a lovely review! THANK YOU! All of you! Feel free to leave as many reviews or messages behind, I appreciate them all, so so much!
> 
> Greetz!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> A new chapter, enjoy! Thank you all for reading and sticking with this story!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters!

Sunday was spent in the quietness of Alex's apartment. The couple slept in, a rare occasion for them both, prepared themselves a luxury brunch and took an intimate shower afterward. To finally end up sitting on the couch, each of them engrossed in a book of their choice.  
Maggie hadn't shared anything more since opening up about her past and Alex's respected these boundaries. She could only guess how much energy, physically but especially emotionally, it had taken from the other woman. And although there were still a lot of blanks that were unclear, she wouldn't push her girlfriend. She was glad Maggie at least seemed to be in a better headspace. They had joked during breakfast and Maggie had seriously teased her while showering. All good things, of course.

Although Maggie and she are only been in a relationship for a few months, Alex couldn't image what she did with all her (free) time before Maggie. She realized she used to spend a lot more time at the DEO, but nowadays she would do anything to spend her days with her amazing detective. When they first started seeing each other it had been kind of difficult to find balance between work, spending time with her sister, Maggie and her friends. But the agent quickly figured out that first of all Maggie loves spending time with her, now theirs, friends. But second, that Maggie values her time spend alone. Maggie was happy that Alex had such a profound connection with her adoptive sister and she grants her girlfriend all the time she likes to spends with Kara. But days like this was something Alex never took for granted. It was rare for them to be free and of work for the whole weekend.

After reading in silence Alex noticed that Maggie wasn't paying any attention to her book anymore, but looked rather lost in her own thoughts. After this week, the agent vowed to herself that she would pay closer attention toward her girlfriend. Even so she wasn't about to push the other woman, Alex didn't want Maggie to drown in her own thoughts.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Alex voiced, pushing herself closer toward the detective.

"Hmmm? What?" Maggie responded, only now returning to the here and now.

"What were you thinking about, you seemed kind of lost in your own world." Alex put into words tentatively. She didn't want Maggie to think that she could be left alone with her thoughts. Afterward the agent lovingly kissed Maggie's cheek, draping her arms around her girlfriend's waist. As a reaction Maggie turned around so she could snuggle closer into Alex's body, in need to be near her.

"I was thinking about J'onn actually."

"Do I need to get jealous?" Alex responded playfully, a big smile plastered on her face.

"No, you silly woman. There's only one woman that I'm kind of into."

"Is that so?" Alex spoke, nuzzling the other woman's neck. "Do I know her?" The agent continued.

"Hmmm, you've met her. She's this amazing woman, smart, kind and so beautiful." Maggie cheerfully, but very honestly, answered. The woman lovingly kissed Alex on the lips, enjoying the closeness and butterflies it gave her time after time. Maggie could see the color rising on Alex's cheeks. Even so the agent was a badass at work, she turned into this uncertain and soft woman when giving her a complement.

"Thank you." Alex spoke quietly, feeling the same about her girlfriend.

"Only telling you the truth."

"You do know I feel just the same about you, right?" Alex said, tightening her grip around Maggie's waist.

"Hmmm..." Maggie voiced, feeling not confident enough to let the comment go any further.

A comfortable silence followed, both woman contemplating their own thoughts.

"I should go speak with your director." Maggie said, breaking the silence. "From what you've told me he can read minds, right?'' The detective started.

"Hmmm, yes he can." Alex simply answered, feeling like Maggie wanted to say more about the matter.

"Do you know how it works? I mean can he only read a person current thoughts, or everything the other person ever felt or has been through?" Maggie questioned, wanting more information about the mind-reading thing.

"J'onn is not very keen to talk about it. But from what I've gathered, he can read or feel ever thought or feeling a person had experienced or is feeling at that moment. It's kind of scary, but also so cool, if you think about it. J'onn also told me that he's able to control it. So it's not like when he meets someone he immediately read that person's mind. He chooses to do that. It's something powerful, and he knows that. I know he has read my mind more than once, and from time to time he picked up on a deep emotion or thought I go through. But he respects people's privacy. I guess J'onn has read your mind as well, knowing how protective he is about Kara and mine wellbeing." Alex spoke, in need to give Maggie a complete picture.

"Yea, he sees you and Kara as his own daughters. So I guess it's kind of normal he wants to make sure that the people close to them are legit. I guess that's why I want to talk to him. I think he may know more about me than I'm comfortable sharing about myself and I just want to make things clear. Just so that I know for sure that I know and visa versa. You think that's stupid?" Maggie questioned in the end, her voice giving away her uncertainly about the matter.

"I don't think that's stupid in any way sweety. If talking to him make you more comfortable, than you should do that. If you want I can be there, whatever you want and need." The DEO-agent voiced tenderly. She hated how uncertain Maggie sounded and how small she appeared when she talked about herself. Alex questioned how deeply her past had hurt the woman.

"I think it's something I want to do on my own. It's not because I don't trust you Alex, it's just..." Maggie spoke in a low voice.

"It's because I don't know the whole story right?" Alex carefully spoke.

"Right..." Maggie whispered, looking down feeling ashamed and so much more. All because of the fact that she could not yet, and maybe never fully could, tell Alex what happened when she was younger.

"I understand Mag. It's your story and it's not because we are in a relationship that you can simply share everything with me all at once. I just want you to know that whenever you want to talk about it, you can. I want you to know that you can trust me." The agent responded, placing one hand under Maggie's chin to make her look up at her. Afterward Alex lovingly placed a kiss on the corner of Maggie's lips, before catching her lips in a sweet kiss.

"Thank you." Maggie whispered, bringing her own arms around Alex's back hugging her closely. "I wish I could shut it all out again. I hate how weak it makes me feel."

"You do know you're anything but weak hé?" Alex said determinately, gently grabbing Maggie's face in her hands, looking straight into her eyes.

"Change of subject?" Alex interjected, seeing Maggie looking away from her once again.

"Hmmm, yes please." Maggie murmured, dropping her head against Alex's collarbone.

"You wanne go outside, the weather seems quite nice. And I think from fresh air will do us good?" The agent asked after a couple of minutes. Maggie was currently all snuggled into her body, chest to chest. Although she was very comfortable herself at the moment, she wanted to spend some time outside her apartment.

"Yupmmm, sounds good." Maggie started. "Just one more minute." She concluded, hugging Alex even a little harder.

It was a couple of days later, on Tuesday, that a case made the DEO work together with the NCPD. Which implicated that Maggie spend a lot of time inside Alex's workspace, not that both women minded. Once, near the end of the day, when they catched the 'bad' alien and most of the paperwork was dealed with Maggie approached J'onn.

"Detective Sawyer." Director Henshaw greeted the woman friendly.

"Director. Could you spare me a couple of minutes of your time?" Maggie questioned, guessing now may be a good time to talk.

"Sure. You want to go to some place more private?" J'onn asked, guessing what the younger woman may want to talk about.

"Yes please."

"You can follow me."

Once in the securely of J'onn's office, a place Maggie had never seen before, she gathered her thoughts and courage before talking.

"Alex told me that you can read mind, as well as that you approached her last week regarding our not so happy mood you picked up." Maggie put into words slowly. Director Henshaw could tell Maggie had more to say and waited until the younger woman started talking again.

"She also told me that you most likely read my mind. I guess I wanted to know if that's true or not?" Maggie questioned, taking on a rather defensive posture.

"Alex's assumptions are right detective, I did indeed read your mind." Director Henshaw started, not getting the time to elaborate any further.

"You can't tell anybody, ever." Maggie exclaimed, feeling like her privacy had been invaded.

"Maggie." J'onn started, using the woman's first name to get her attention. "It was and never will be my intention to share your story with anyone. I understand that it's a private matter. But if you allow me I do want to say something, can I?"

"Yes." Maggie simply responded, not wanting to expose her emotions and feelings any more than necessary.

"You're a great detective, the youngest woman in your precinct to become detective at such a young age if I'm right. We all have made our mistakes, myself included. But you are a good person and you deserve to be happy regardless of your past. You make agent Danvers happy, and from what I can tell she makes you happy as well. You both deserve that. You are allowed to that happiness Maggie." J'onn voiced, placing his hand on the younger woman shoulder to provide her some comfort and stability.

Maggie had a hard time controlling her emotions, she needed to blink her eyes a few times to hold the tears at bay. She was kind of relieved that she now had some certainly, he knew, but she hadn't expected that he would elaborate the matter any further. He's a good man, Maggie concluded!

Before exiting his own office, to give the detective a minute to compose herself, J'onn came closer to Maggie and whispered: "What your parents did was wrong, but you cannot let them control how you life your life. Every parent should be proud to have you as their daughter."

Maggie couldn't control the tears any longer, letting them fall on her cheeks. Only a minute after J'onn left, Alex came through the door.

"J'onn told me to go to his office. You're okay Maggie?" Alex voiced, afraid something had happened that she was not aware of, seeing that her girlfriend was crying, at work no less.

"He knows." Maggie uttered, making her way toward Alex and placing her head in the crook of the agent's neck, her arms limb besides her body.

"Oww sweetheart, it's okay. You're okay." Alex whispered over and over again, placing both arms tightly around Maggie's torso. Alex could feel Maggie's tears wetting her shirt, having already changed out of her work clothes. The detective stayed silent, only now and then taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." Maggie mumbled against the fabric of Alex's shirt. "I didn't expect things to go the way they did." The detective put into words quietly, only now looking up into Alex's eyes.

"You want to talk about it?" Alex tenderly asked, brushing away some lose hairs from Maggie's face.

"Not here."

"We can go to my place or your, whatever you want." Alex spoke, hating to see her girlfriend in such an emotional state.

"Yours please."

"Hmmm." Alex said, kissing the side of Maggie's head lovingly. "Come on." She continued, grabbing one of Maggie's hands and intertwining their fingers.

\---

Will be continued!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate every single on of you who reads my story and all of you who take the time to leave behind a comment. I like that so much!!! Any feedback is always welcome.
> 
> Ps: I received a review saying they wanted Maggie to have a talk with J'onn. Guess what, it was kind of my intention all along, so why not in this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it?
> 
> Greetz.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Finally a new chapter, enjoy! Thank you all for reading!!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

Later that same night, once the couple lay down in bed, Maggie had cried in Alex's arms, finally feeling safe. The detective had narrated every word J'onn had told her earlier that day. Alex, trying to be a good girlfriend, had listened while holding Maggie close against her own body. She told the detective that her thoughts and feelings were real, and that J'onn would keep them safe.

At the end Maggie fell asleep shortly after, totally exhausted from the crying and talking. Alex kissed her forehead, before carefully maneuvering their bodies in a more comfortable sleeping position and closing her own eyes.

\------

The next couple of weeks flew by without any big incident. Work was time-consuming and tiering, but both women loved their respective jobs. And therefore, knew the downsides were all part of it. But as long as the good excelled the bad, it was still a win! Regardless of their jobs Alex and Maggie had spent almost all their free time together. Maggie hadn't talked anymore more about her past, but they still had so much else to discover about one another. Every day the women got to know each other a little better and they loved it. It was all these little things that made them fall harder and harder in love.

Everything became much more real between them when Alex got kidnapped and almost drowned. The hours between the kidnap and the DEO-agent her safe return at home, Maggie had never been more scared to lose someone she loves. Yes loves! The detective realized a couple of weeks ago, around the time she told Alex about Emily and her past (or at least part of it) that she was more than in love with her girlfriend. But Maggie was far too scared to voice these feelings! But the moment Alex woke up in the medical wing of the DEO, and told her she loves her Maggie could only reciprocate these feelings. Even if these feelings and voicing them out loud kind of scared her to dead. Never before had she felt so deeply. Alex was worth everything and Maggie could only hope that she could deliver!  
The detective hated the fact that Alex needed to spend the night at the DEO, although it was for her own good. As a response Maggie immediately decided to spend the night there as well, she would not leave Alex on her own. The smaller woman could deal with the tiredness and stiffness she was most likely to experience in the morning!  
That night Maggie couldn't close her eyes at all, too afraid that everything would be one big lie and she would see Alex's lifeless body floating in the tank. Dead came so close today, way too close! Maggie held her girlfriend's hand in hers, hoping she would at least get some much-needed sleep! But one could only hope for much, because only after an hour of sleep Alex woke up gasping for air! Maggie was immediately at her side, silently urging Alex to sit up in bed so she could breathe a little easier. In doing so Maggie had placed one of her hands on the agent's back and felt how drenched Alex her tank top was. Silent tears were streaming down Alex's face and the look in her eyes was giving Maggie the chills.

"Just breath honey." Maggie quietly spook. "Follow my lead… In and out." She continued saying until Alex' breathing was more or less back to normal.

Maggie heart was beeping rapidly in her chest, afraid she was losing her girlfriend in a panic attack. Only when Alex was breathing normal, the detective took a big breath of air herself.

"I'm right here." Maggie whispered, when she felt the dead grip of Alex's hand in hers. The smaller woman lovingly kissed Alex's temple, feeling that her skin was still hot. "You want me to get you a damp cloth and some fresh clothes Alex?"

"Hmmm, just give me a minute." Alex voiced quietly, her voice sounding smaller than usual.

"Take all the time you need, I'm right here." Maggie answered, embracing her girlfriend in a tight side-hug. Maggie would not let go! She could only image what Alex was dreaming about and what woke her up gasping for air like that. Her own mind was clouded with all the different scenarios of how Alex's kidnapping could have ended. She had been so afraid to lose her girlfriend, the person she loves!

Alex let herself being cuddled into Maggie's side, feeling herself getting grounded by her present, her smell, her voice, simply everything about the other woman. The DEO-agent had been dreaming about her own dead, Maggie and Kara were not on time and she saw herself getting under water. Feeling completely surrounded by the water and not finding a way out. Alex could feel how her top was sticking to her skin, feeling all flustered and hot (in a not good way). But she was too tired and, if she was being honest, a little afraid to get herself cleaned up. Alex knew, rationally, that she should not be afraid of water, but right now she was having mixed feelings about it.  
Alex could feel how Maggie's own heartbeat her sped up and slowed back down, seeing and feeling that she was breathing normal again. The agent could not believe how lucky she was to have a lover like that. Someone who had been her rock, maybe even since the first day they met.

"I love you." Alex voiced after a couple of minutes of silence. She felt herself getting lulled back to sleep by the present of Maggie at her side, despite they not so comfortable position. The agent realized the best thing to do was getting changed into some fresh clothes and go back to sleep. She was feeling so tired, her body had been fighting for too long. But Alex would only try to go back to sleep if Maggie lay down next to her. Even when she realized how pity that sounded and even more giving that the bed would not allow them to sleep comfortable, she wanted nothing more.

"I love you too." Maggie responded tenderly, putting some distance between them while still keeping her hands on Alex's arms.

"I'm so tired." Alex spoke, her eyes welling with some fresh tears. She was feeling so vulnerable at the moment, not able to control the actions of her own body.

"Try to get some sleep sweetie, I will be right here." Maggie tenderly spoke, gently brushing away Alex's tears.

"I want you to get into bed with me. Please?" Alex almost pleaded.

"Alex, I want you to be comfortable, the bed is too small for two." Maggie gently voiced.

"I don't care, I just want you close to me." Alex responded, looking right into Maggie's eyes. Hoping Maggie could read the uncertainty in them.

"Okay." Maggie spoke, gently kissing Alex's lips afterward. "But some fresh clothes for you first." Maggie said, making her way toward the closet where she knew some spare clothes were kept. "Here you go Alex. Do you need a hand?" Maggie asked, handing over some fresh pants and shirt, but seeing the tired look on Alex's face.

"Yes please."

Maggie carefully helped Alex into some fresh clothes, being extra careful regarding the wound on her shoulder. Once again being confronted by how close she came to losing her girlfriend.

"Scoot up you woman." Maggie said, trying the get some lightness into the room. Alex slowly made some space on the bed, in need to feel Maggie close to her. The detective laid herself on her back, giving Alex the opportunity to curl her body around hers. Which that was exactly what Alex did, making herself comfortable against Maggie's side, resting her head on her lover's chest. And in doing so feeling so much safer.

"Thank you." Alex spoke quietly, sleep already catching up on her.

Maggie responded by tenderly squeezing Alex's side, encircling her body with both arms. Quickly after Alex fell asleep, lulled by the sound of Maggie's heartbeat. Maggie herself tried to see awake as long as possible, afraid Alex would wake up once again because of a bad dream. But after some hours her eyes starting to close, sleep getting her.

The next couple of days had been hard. During the day Alex pretended to be back to normal, although she was tired and emotionally spend. But during the night nightmares kept her awake. Maggie could only witness how her girlfriend became less and less herself. It was only when J'onn forced Alex to take a couple of days to recover, that she broke. That night the agent had cried herself to sleep, safe in Maggie's arms. It was also the first time Alex had told Maggie about what she saw in her dreams.  
The days that followed were hard. Maggie had asked for a couple of personal days from work and stayed close to Alex the whole time. Alex had voiced how thankful she was that Maggie was there, but also how exposed and vulnerable she felt. It was not the first time the agent had come close to dead, but this time around felt different somehow. In the end it was Kara, who had been at Alex's place a lot during these days, who told her that maybe feeling loved and loving someone back (referring to Maggie) made her feel everything that had happened more deeply. Only after that conversation Alex started to voice her feelings more and more toward Maggie. Which in the end resulted into more sleep and feeling far more like herself, after a couple of days. Only after J'onn was sure Alex was back to 100%, he allowed her to return to work.  
During that week Alex had realized how lucky she was to have Maggie by her side, how lucky she was to love her. But also how grateful she felt for having such a wonderful family and friends, they always had her back and were interested in her well-being.  
After her first day back to work, Alex had gone over to Maggie's place. She had told the detective how much she was in love with her. Maggie, feeling Alex's love, had dared the agent to show her just how much she loved her. So to say that the night ended very well for them both was an understatement. Making love had never felt better!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all the response you guys send me, a huge thank you for that!  
> I cannot promise to update this story regulary, I fail to manage my time properly but I will continue writing... Sorry!
> 
> Love!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei everybody!
> 
> A new chapter, finally! Enjoy!  
> I miss Maggie on the show! I understand that it's the actrice her choice to leave the show, but I don't like how things ended between Alex and Maggie... (Just my opinion, ignore it!)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the charachters!

"Maggie, wake up sweetheart…" Alex whispered, tentatively stroking the detective's stomach.

Maggie was currently on her back, laying closely next to Alex. A couple of minutes ago Alex woke up from the disturbed movements coming from her girlfriend. Alex, having been in a relationship with Maggie for quite some time now, knew the tell signs of a nightmare her girlfriend was currently having. It was not as bad as it could be, but Alex hated to see Maggie like this. Doing that type of work both women did, re-experiencing the horrors they sometimes witnessed was nothing unusual, unfortunately. But despite all that, it was never easy to see the person you love struggling like this. Alex knew, from earlier experience, that it was best to try and wake Maggie up before the nightmare became more intense. And that was what the woman was currently trying to do.

"Come on honey, wake up." The agent repeated, in doing so stroking Maggie's face with the tips of her fingers.

"Alex…" Maggie gasped, her eyes flying open.

"You're okay Maggie, it's just us here. You're safe." Alex spoke softly, seeing the spoken look on her girlfriend's face.

Alex could feel the rapid beat of Maggie's heart where one of her hands was resting on woman's chest, the other hand still stroking Maggie's face, feeling the head radiating from her skin.

"Bad dream?" Alex whispered, placing a tender kiss on Maggie's cheek. Alex could feel Maggie's tears on her lips, guessing that most likely it had been an intense dream.

"Hmmm, sorry for waking you up." Maggie spoke, her voice lanced with tears and a very heavy emotion Alex was not very familiar with.

"Don't be Maggie. Do you want to talk about it?" Alex tentatively asked, knowing Maggie was, just like herself, not good with expression her deep emotions neither with opening up after a bad dream.

"No thanks." The detective said, brushing away the tears on her face with the back of her hand. After doing that, she urged Alex to come closer. Alex snuggled herself into Maggie's side, after kissing her neck lightly. Alex kind of already knew that Maggie would not talk and just wanted to feel her close. Maggie on her side placed a little kiss on top of Alex's head, both arms around her torso.

The couple stayed laying in that position for a long time, but Alex could feel that Maggie's body was still on high alert. Her breathing and heartrate were still unregular and the grip on her body was just a little too tight to be considered 'normal'. Alex knew, from own experience, that she didn't liked to be pushed, but the DEO-agent knew something more was going on with her girlfriend. Alex slowly put some distance between them, so she was able to look Maggie directly in the eye.

"Honey, what's going on?" Alex voiced tenderly, placing on hand directly over Maggie's heart.

"I'm okay Alex." Maggie responded too quickly for the agent's liking. "Sorry for waking you up."

"Maggie…"

"I will tell you, just not right now please." Maggie spoke, not in the mood to share her thoughts. She realized she was not being fair toward Alex, she is always the one telling the agent not to push down her feelings. And what was she doing now, she was pushing away the woman who loves her. "I know I'm not being fair, but I need some time." The detective whispered.

"Sweetheart." Alex started. The agent felt kind of annoyed right now. She understands and respects the concept of needing time, but why was it so difficult for Maggie to share her thoughts and feelings? Trust or better sharing any personal information was a big deal for the detective, Alex knew that much. But she just wanted to help…

"Not now Alex!" The detective responded harshly, untangling herself from Alex's body and getting up from the bed. The woman made her way toward the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Maggie rested her body against the door, breathing out. Why was she pushing away Alex? Why was she screwing everything up? Why? Stupid dream! She was not that same young girl anymore, she didn't live with her parents or aunt anymore. She has her own life, she's happy and loved! But Alex almost drowning not that long ago made her feel like she could lose everything in just a blink of the eye! Maggie could feel the tears threatening the escape her eyes once again, but feeling too tired and emotionally unstable to stop them.

Alex had no idea what just happened. Unfortunately, it was not the first time she woke Maggie up from a bad dream, but this… Maggie was not the one to raise her voice, but she had which was another indication she was far from okay. The agent could hear Maggie crying on the other side of the door, not knowing if she needed to give the woman space or enter the bathroom.

"Maggie, can I come in?" Alex asked tentatively, having made up her mind. She wanted to know what was going on.

After a long silence, Alex could hear a faint yes coming from inside the bathroom.

"Hey." Alex spoke while entering the room. Maggie was sitting on the ground, her back resting against the tub. The agent could see the tear tracks on her girlfriend's cheeks, her head resting on her raised knees, arms tightly wrapped around them. "Can I sit next to you?"

"Hmmm." Maggie murmured, feeling the last string of energy leaving her body.

Alex slowly lowered herself, sitting down next to Maggie. The agent knew she needed to handle this carefully, whatever it was.

"I'm sorry." Maggie voiced, her voice hoarse from crying. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, sorry." Maggie spoke, raising her head up so she could see Alex's face.

"Talk to me babe." Alex put into words, gently placing a hand on Maggie's arm.

"It was just the stupid dream, it just screws with my head. I thought that…" Maggie whispered.

"You thought what Maggie? What were you dreaming about?" Alex asked gently. She was all about respecting Maggie's boundaries, but right now she felt like the woman needed a little push.

"Just…" Maggie tried to speak, her voice small and uncertain.

"You can trust me honey." Alex lovingly responded, placing one arm gently around Maggie's torso.

"I know Alex, but… I don't want to bother you with all my baggage. It's not fair." Maggie put into words, her voice lanced with tears.

"It doesn't bother me Maggie. We're in this together, you've been here for me time after time and you've never complained or made me feel like I was too much. I want to do the same, I love you babe. Whatever you tell me, I will be here." Alex voiced, afterward brushing away some tears on Maggie's cheek with the tips of her fingers.

"I know… It's just stupid. I am a grown woman, I should be able to deal with this." Maggie tried to explain, but leaving Alex with even more questions than concrete answers.

"With what?"

"Just my past… From time to time, just like now, I have this dream where I can remember exactly what happened that night my dad kicked me out of the house. He was a difficult man and he and my mom used to be so strict. But even so from time to time he had this proud look on his face when we did something good. Just everything that happened… Sometimes it is too hard to deal with it. I grew up with this idea, even more so the last couple of years that relationships were nothing for me. I failed at making them work. But then you came along and now I don't want to image my life without you. But you almost drowned Alex and we… I almost lost you. And in my dreams, we're unable to safe you and I don't know how to deal with all that. And then it all becomes just so dark, a mix of everything…" Maggie spoke softly, tears silently streaming down her face.

"Come here honey." Alex said, opening her arms and inviting Maggie to cuddle in close to her. Maggie accepted the invitation and snuggled into Alex's body. "You won't lose me, not in a very long time. I know, with our jobs, it's not something I can really promise you. But if I've any say in it, you're stuck with me. I know we came too close to be losing each other… And I can't even begin to understand how it must feel to not be accepted at such a young age. But belief me, you're so loved Maggie, so so loved!" Alex spoke, softly kissing the side of Maggie's head in between saying the words.

"I hate feeling like this… Feeling weak. You're the one who almost…"

"Don't Maggie, we've both been through it. Each in our own way, you don't have to hide your feelings for me. Never Maggie." Alex spoke softly, keeping Maggie close to her.

"I'm sorry." The detective whispered, silent tears still streaming down her face. Maggie felt ashamed, losing control over her emotions like this. The woman knew she could trust Alex, but years' worth of not letting people in, of building up walls around her so high that in end people always left… It was hard, so hard to break them down.

"Hey, don't go their honey, you've got nothing to be sorry for." The agent told her. The couple stayed on a floor a while longer, Alex could sense Maggie was taking it hard. Seeing her cry was a rare occasion on itself, but every tear made Alex feel so uncapable of protecting the person she loves. Maggie was a really tough person. She didn't shy away to express to feelings, once she had made up her mind. But expressing and sharing things about her past or about her real/ deep feelings was a rarity. And Alex felt privileged that Maggie trusted her enough to not always hide that part of herself from her.

"You want to go back to bed Maggie?" Alex asked, brushing away the last tears on Maggie's face with the tips of her fingers.

"I…" Maggie started, not sure that she was strong enough to voice her thoughts still feeling so exposed.

"What honey?"

"I don't want to go back to sleep." Maggie responded, her voice lanced with hurt and uncertainly.

The look Alex could see in her girlfriend's eyes broke her heart. Maggie was trying to be strong, but Alex wanted her to know that she didn't always needed to keep her guards up. Not around her, not in the safety of her apartment.

"We don't have to sleep Maggie, but I do choose the bed over this bathroom floor." The DEO-agent told Maggie, pressing her a little closer toward her body. "And I can live with a very long cuddling session, I don't know about you?"

"I love you so much Alex." Maggie whispered, her voice again clouding up with tears.

"Love you too! Come on sweetie." Alex said, loosening her grip around Maggie's body and standing up. The agent gave Maggie some space, seeing she was about to freshen herself up before going to bed. Alex made her way toward their bed already, giving Maggie all the time she needed. Some minutes later Maggie crawled under the covers again, her back facing Alex.

"I love you Maggie." Alex put into words lovingly, snuggling closer and spooning Maggie's back against her front. "You're safe here."

"I know." Maggie whispered, placing her own hand on top of Alex's arm that was embracing her. "I'm sorry, I've not been in the best headspace these last couple of weeks…" the detective continued, trying to keep herself from crying.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Can I ask you a question Maggie?" Alex spoke, silently asking Maggie to face her. The redheaded woman kissed Maggie on the lips, once she turned around.

"Hmmm." Maggie murmured, enjoying Alex's kiss.

"I don't wanna sound like I'm insulting you or something like that, but I guess it's not the first time you've been feeling a little down? I mean I know the water tank happened and all that, but the hurt you feel about your family… That's not new, right?" Alex spoke tentatively, placing both arms protectively around Maggie's body. She didn't want to hurt Maggie in any way, never!

"Yea… I, I think you're right. You're the first person I've really talked about my past with. I've had bad days before, when the emotions are too much to deal with. But my way to cope with that was to get drunk and pick up some random woman I could spent the night with." Maggie spoke, seeing some hurtful expression passing on Alex's face. "I don't say this to hurt you Alex."

"I know Maggie and I don't mind your past. You know that, but I feel kind of protective about you. You're mine!" Alex smirked, before getting serious again.

"I like that." Maggie told Alex, a real dimpled-smile on her face. Alex loves seeing Maggie smile a real smile, something that did not happen a lot these past few weeks. "My head is all over the place right now, but I will do my best to…"

"I'm not going to love you any less because you have a bad day Maggie, I hope you know that. I just want you to feel better, whatever it takes. You know… Maybe talking about it with someone can help?" Alex spoke gently, brushing some hairs out of Maggie's face.

"No Alex!" Maggie spoke, her voice harder than she intended.

"I don't want to push you honey, just…"

"No Alex! I mean…" Maggie tried to put into words, feeling like she was failing miserably. "I can't talk about it."

"Why not Maggie?" Alex asked, a little bewildered by the detective's comment.

"It doesn't matter…"

"It does to me Maggie, you can tell me." Alex responded, seeing Maggie close to tears.

"It's stupid." Maggie spoke. Alex could feel and almost see how Maggie was building up the walls around herself yet again.

"Don't shut me out honey, please." Alex whispered, placing one hand under Maggie's chin making her look into her own eyes.

"I don't deserve it, that's all." Maggie said, her voice dropping near the end while breaking eye-contact with the agent. "Please can we stop talking about it?" The detective whispered, all bravery gone.

"I… Yes, we can." Alex voiced, feeling that if she was about to push Maggie now it would turn out to be for the worst. "Just don't keep it all in Maggie, you don't have to." Alex continued tenderly, before placing a long kiss on Maggie's forehead. "I care about you."

"I care about you too." Maggie said, while turning around her back once again to Alex's front. Once Maggie was settled, Alex placed a little kiss to Maggie's neck.

Maggie could feel Alex's breathing chancing, a tell tail that she was asleep. The detective herself could not seem to fall asleep, her mind full of everything that happened only moments ago. Everything that she felt these past few weeks. She could see how much Alex loves her, how their love was something strong. But at the same all that made Maggie feel scared and guarded as well. If her past was something to build on, things always ended badly, and Maggie did not want to put Alex through all of that. But it was like she couldn't hold herself back when it came to the woman she loves. The agent had this unique way to make her feel safe and share things with her which Maggie had never done before. Maggie just hoped that Alex would not get sick of her and her stupid behavior…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank each of you who takes the time to leave a lovely comment behind, I love it. So like always, all the feedback is more than welcome.
> 
> Greetz!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!!
> 
> A little too late, but I hope all of you started the new year on a positive note! A happy new 2018!  
> Here is the first new chapter of the year and more are to come. I can't stick to a schedule, too much is happening in between. But I will keep posting new chapters, whenever I can.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters!

A couple of weeks flew by without the couple and their friends being really aware of it. The city had gone crazy, dangerous aliens made their appearance more frequently. And as a result, keeping the DEO and NCPD busy. Alex had a feeling something 'big' was about to happen at any minute, so to say that every agent was on high alert was the least.  
But despite that serious situation, Maggie and Alex made time to be just them, not agent Danvers and detective Sawyer. Things had been going so well between them, their obvious love blossoming a little bit more every day. For sure they had their little arguments about silly things like cleaning up after themselves or how to fill the dishwasher, nothing the couple could not laugh at five minutes later. Being this happy and feeling safe was something new for both women. They trusted each other to be open about their feelings, about not keeping anything serious from one another. Sure they both had their past, which included a lot of things they were not fully ready for to expose, but both parties respected that. As the weeks past, they learned more every day that they could rely on each other. There were days, after a too long day at the DEO and dealing with things too close to the heart, that the moment Alex entered her apartment she would made her way toward Maggie and embrace her in a tight hug. From time to time even letting some tears and emotions out, knowing she could trust her girlfriend. Maggie did the same, although she had been more cautious about trying not to cry. Not because she didn't trust Alex, but she had seen the concerned looks on her girlfriend's face and she hated to be the one causing her any pain or trouble. Alex, being the best girlfriend ever, could see right through Maggie of course, but decided to let Maggie lead the way. If she wasn't ready to be completely open all the time, she would respect that. For that the detective could not be more grateful.

These last few weeks, slowly but surely, Maggie had started to develop a lovely friendship with Winn as well. The moment they had met she could see how much Alex cared about the younger man, despite her antics. The pair shared their love for videogames, something that Alex had not been aware of that Maggie loves. And although they had not talked about it openly they knew both had not known a 'normal' childhood and youth. Maggie knew who Winn's father was and what he had done, but she would never hold that against her new friend. He was such a warm and kind person!  
Secretly Alex was beyond happy that Maggie was starting to open up toward her friends, slowly seeing them as her friends as well!  
It was that Wednesday night, a little after 10pm that Maggie entered Alex's place, a big smile plastered on her face.

"Hey babe." Maggie voiced, making her way toward Alex on the couch, who was fully engorged in a science magazine.

"Hey yourself." Alex responded softly, immediately melted into the kiss the other woman started. "You had a good time?" The agent whispered against Maggie's lips, after breaking their kiss.

"Hmmm yes, I like Winn." Maggie spoke, smiling all the while making her way around to couch to stand in front of Alex.

"Should I be worried?" Alex asked, a playful smile on her lips. The agent tugged her girlfriend closer, inviting her to sit on her lap, while facing her.

"Maybe?" Maggie answered, a laugh escaping her lips while making herself comfortable on Alex's lap. "I love you!" the woman whispered, before once again kissing Alex deeply.

"Hmmm I love you too, you silly woman." Alex responded equal happily, loving the smile on Maggie's face! "And I love your smile." The agent continued, pecking Maggie's lips between each spoken word, while tenderly stroking Maggie's dimples.

"Thank you." Maggie voiced, a shy smile appearing on her face.

"What for?"

"For making me happy and for loving me!" Maggie spoke quietly, looking into her girlfriend's eyes.

"Back at you!" Alex whispered, placing both hand on Maggie's cheeks before kissing her tenderly on her lips. "I never knew I could feel like this. I am happy, you make me so happy!" The agent spoke lovingly.

"Hmmm." Maggie murmured, hiding her face in the crook of Alex neck feeling a little overwhelmed with Alex's sweet words. She loved their relationship, although is still scares her from time to time. It was so intense, in a good way, but the fear of screwing it up was still there. Alex knew that and understood. Maybe not completely, but this was all new for her as well. Alex tenderly stroked Maggie's back with one hand, her other hand resting against her neck.

"Ready to go for bed? Or do you want to watch some tv?" Alex asked, still keeping Maggie close to her.

"Hmmm bed, work tomorrow." Maggie said, resting her weight fully against Alex, not yet ready to leave her comfortable position. "You're comfy." Maggie voice in a quiet voice, nuzzling Alex's neck.

Maggie had enjoyed her night gaming and talking with Winn. She didn't game very often, but you did like it. Winn on the other hand was totally a geek when it came to gaming and it was so fun to see him in his 'natural habit'. He truly was a great guy and Maggie was glad to be calling him her friend.

"Come on you lady, time for bed." Alex spoke, trying to stand up from the couch while still keeping a hold on her girlfriend. Maggie was practically wrapped around her body like a koala and Alex knew she had the strength to lift her up and carry her. It was something she did time from time, seeing it as a sign how much Maggie trusted her.

"Winn is a good guy." Maggie voiced after a couple of minutes of comfortable silence. Both women where currently lying side by side in bed, their limbs intertwined, looking into each other's eyes.

"He is. It feels like I really should start to be jealous." Alex smirked.

"No, of course not Danvers. It's just… I don't know." Maggie tried to explain but failing. "I think, it's been a long time since I made a real friend and he's…"

"Trustworthy?"

"Yea…"

"I'm hard on him Mags, that's how we work. But I do really think he's a good man and I trust him with my life." Alex put into words, resting her forehead against Maggie's, breathing in deeply feeling completely at ease.

"Can I ask something maybe a little strange?" Maggie asked, bringing one arm tightly around her girlfriend's waist.

"Of course you can babe." Alex voiced, placing a tender kiss on Maggie's forehead.

"How do you feel about the whole discussion about nature versus nurture? I mean Winn is a good guy, but do you think he would be any different if he grew up in a different household?" Maggie put into words carefully. If she was honest with herself, this question was not really about Winn, although it was but it was more than that. She just couldn't find the right words.

"Is this really about Winn honey?" Alex asked carefully, tugging some lose hair behind Maggie's ear lovingly.

"Maybe not, but can you tell me what you think about it please?"

"Okay sweetheart. As we're born we receive this 50/50% set of a unique DNA-mix from our parents, so a lot of who we are is already there. But I do believe that our environment, the place who grew up in, the people we meet, the school we go to… All of that defines us as well. There is a lot of discussion about what weight heavier in the long run and I understand that people think differently about it. I feel that we can't control everything in life, but having a safe heaven, a place where you can be yourself and express what you're feeling is important, no matter how grown up or how little you are. Do I think Winn would be a different guy if he had a different home and had not been through everything when he was younger? Yea I do, but he also is this amazing guy because of what he's been through. You know I feel the same way about you. You're perfect just the way you are, and I do belief your past made you're even stronger. You may not see that Maggie, but I do!" Alex ended, feeling like Maggie's question was more than just about Winn.

"Hmmm, I…" Maggie hesitated, snuggling even a little closer into Alex's warm body. "Do you think I will make the same mistakes my parents did?" The detective spoke, going for the question that was really going through her head.

"You want kids Maggie?" Alex asked, a little surprised. How did the situation suddenly became about having or wanting children? Where they ready to talk about that?

"I don't know, maybe one day. But I don't want them to be mine… I mean biologically. Do you want kids?" Maggie responded, her voice losing volume, looking at Alex's face.

"I do, I want to be a mom one day. It's something that I've always known, even when everything else… When ether it was boyfriend, girlfriend whatever, when… When that was blurry… The part of me being a mom, that's always been crystal clear." Alex started, looking directly into Maggie's eyes. "Can I ask why you don't want your own biological children, sweetie?" Alex asked tentatively, stroking Maggie's cheek with the tips of her fingers.

"I think I'm afraid. I want the best for my children, I want them to grow up in a safe place, always. I don't want them to be afraid, never! And… They live in me, parts of my parents are in me, and I don't want to… I don't know, it's stupid." Maggie spoke, losing her voice near the end breaking eye-contact.

"It's not stupid Maggie." The agent said, placing a finger under Maggie's chin urging her to look at her. "But I think you would be an amazing mom, regardless if they're biologically your kids or not."

"Thanks." Maggie whispered. "I think you will make a wonderful mom too?"

The couple stayed silent for a while, both contemplating about what just transpired between them.

"Did we just had the baby-becoming a mother one-day talk?" Alex laughed, sensing that they just had a big conversation.

"I guess we did, how did that happen?" Maggie responded, a shy smile on her face.

"Your fault." Alex smiled. "But I think we did good. Can I say something silly?" Alex asked.

"Sure babe and we did good. Thank you for listening." Maggie responded, placing a light kiss on Alex's cheek.

"Always! I know it's your opinion and your feelings, but I can only imagine how cute a little Maggie would look like! And I may not know your parents, but I know you're nothing like them!" Alex spoke, smiling tenderly.

"Thank you Alex."

"But right now, I want to make love to you, can we?" The agent asked, a hopeful and lovely expression on her face.

"Of course we can. I want you, always." Maggie voiced, urging Alex to lay down on her back and laying herself on top of Alex. "You're perfect." The detective whispered, before kissing Alex deeply.

"I love you." Alex voiced, completely out of breath. "Now I do belief you're wearing too many clothes."

"So bossy." Maggie smirked, tugging her own shirt over her head.

"Much better! I really love your breasts." Alex voiced, placing both hand on top of Maggie's boobs, squeezing them gently and in doing so earning a soft moan from the other woman. "You're so beautiful Mags."

"I love you Alex." Maggie whispered against Alex's lips, before kissing her deeply, getting lost in each other. In the end the women fell asleep in each other arms, both feeling happy, satisfice, safe, both most of all loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to hear from you guys! All comment or requests are more than welcome!! Thank you!!!
> 
> Love, I.
> 
> Ps.: I still miss Maggie a lot... :(


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> New update! ENJOY! I want to thank all of you for sticking to this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

"Hey Mags, you're home?" Alex shouted when entering her apartment. This week had been crazy, like so many other weeks. Which always made the agent realize how close to dead she came on so many occasions. Before the start of her relationship with Maggie, Alex's only concern was keeping her little sister, aka Supergirl, safe regardless of her own life. For that Alex had payed a lot of prizes already, the many scars on her body and mind a testimony of that. But the agent wouldn't change anything, somehow she believes that every step in her life, was one step closer to her meeting Maggie. Alex, being a scientist, was not a religious person but meeting Maggie had been something close to a miracle. Something that saved Alex's life in many ways, making her life richer and more colorful. These last few weeks Alex had been thinking more and more about asking her girlfriend to move in with her, officially. Most night the women slept in the same bed, mostly at Alex's place but from time to time they spend the night at Maggie's place. But the nights they spend apart became less frequent as time passed. A lot of Maggie's stuff had made their appearance in Alex's apartment, starting from a fresh pair of clothes up till one of the detective's beloved bonsai trees. Alex found Maggie's love for these little trees adorable, not fully comprehending where her obsession with them came from but liking it anyway.

"I'm in the bathroom." Maggie voiced, planning on taking a shower just being home for a couple of minutes herself.

Alex kicked of her boots and lost her jacket, before making her way toward the bathroom. The DEO-agent had been craving some alone time with her girlfriend, maybe sharing a shower did not sound like a bad idea at all.

"Hey babe." Maggie spoke, standing completely naked in front Alex.

"Hey yourself." Alex whispered, feeling the color rise on her cheeks. Even after all these months of being together, Alex could not get over how beautiful her girlfriend truly is. "You're so so beautiful… Care to share a shower, I could use one myself." Alex put into words, gently tracing Maggie's side, all the way from her cheek till her hip.

"I think that can be arranged." Maggie responded, her voice sounding a little wrought-up. "You sure are overdressed from the occasion." The detective smirked, seeing the aroused look in Alex's eyes. "Let me give you a hand." Maggie exclaimed, tugging Alex's shirt out of her pants and touching the skin on Alex's lower back.

"You smell good." Maggie spoke, playfully nipping Alex's neck, before placing a tender kiss on the corner of the woman's lips.

"You tease." Alex breathed deeply, bringing Maggie in for a real kiss.

"But you like me?" Maggie asked innocently, a shy smile on her face.

"Always." Alex smiled right back at her girlfriend. The agent made quick work of losing her own clothes, in need to be close to Maggie. It always made the woman loose words how perfectly they fitted. Maggie was a little smaller than herself, which was just perfect. The woman is simply perfect!

Maggie's breath got stuck in her throat, once again being dumbfounded by Alex's beauty. The woman was so fit, yet so female. The scars on her body took nothing away from her perfectness, it simply stated how protective she is about the people she loves. Which, if Maggie was being honest, was kind of a turn on sometimes, seeing Alex into full protective mode. But on the other side it also stated how careless Alex could become when it comes to the people she loves. How close Maggie may have come to never knowing the woman in the first place. That thought scares her!

Tenderly Alex grabbed Maggie's hands, leading her girlfriend under the spray of the shower. Once in the shower, Maggie hugged Alex close to her, both arms around her waist. The agent loved cuddly Maggie, a side Maggie did not show to anyone else but her. Over the course of their relationship Alex had quickly learned that Maggie did not have many friends, that she was a very closed of person. She befriended some aliens, simply seeing them as people with a special gift and she had some friendly relationship with two or three of her colleges on the NCPD. Alex also learned that most of the time Maggie did not like to be touched by people she wasn't befriended with, which were most people. At the beginning of their relationship, the first few times Alex had introduced Maggie to her friends/ family, the agent had seen Maggie froze when touching or hugging her. At first Alex had just thought it was because they were new people, actually strangers to her. But over time the agent had realized Maggie was just not that type of person who hugged or kissed her friends. One night, when laying down in bed, Maggie had whispered that she had learned to not let people in, be too close to anyone, afraid that they would leave her in the end or get sick of her, just like her parents had. So giving all that, Alex felt incredibility lucky to be that person where Maggie felt comfortable with the hug her, to be close to her at any moment.

"I like you." Maggie whispered after some minutes, letting the water warm their bodies.

"I like you too." Alex responded in an equal small voice. The agent loved this tender side of her girlfriend, once again being reminded how lucky and happy she is to love this woman.

"Hmmm." Maggie murmured, nestling her head in the crook of Alex's neck, stroking her strong gently. "Can I wash your hair?" The detective asked gently, looking into Alex's eyes. Maggie knew she felt aroused by Alex's closeness, and yes they could make love later, but right now she wanted to share this intimate act with Alex.

"Only if I can return the favor." Alex spoke, resting her forehead against Maggie's and placing both hands on her cheeks. "I'm so in love with you." The agent voice lovingly, before kissing Maggie's lips lightly.

"You're making it really hard not to make love to you right now babe."

"Maybe I want you to have sex with me right now." Alex expressed in a husky voice, kissing Maggie right above her left breast, while squeezing her backside gently.

"Alex…" Maggie whined.

"Hey, it's not my fault you've created a monster." The agent smirked, seeing the lust in the smaller woman's eyes.

"So now it's my fault?" Maggie smiled, standing on her tiptoes and nuzzling her nose with Alex's. "You're crazy."

"Crazy about you." Alex expressed, a big smile plastered on her face.

"You're going soft on me Danvers?" Maggie responded, kissing the corner of Alex's lips.

"Only for you Sawyer." The agent said tenderly, catching the other woman's lips, kissing her deeply.

"I still want to wash your hair." Maggie breathed against Alex's lips. Her body longed for the release she knew Alex could bring her, but Maggie wanted this moment to last. She wanted to be close to Alex, to touch her body tentatively, to cherish and love her through her actions. "We can have all the sex you want later." The detective whined, hoping Alex could hold on for a little longer.

"Promise?" Alex whispered. The agent could read Maggie's arousal in her eyes, but at the same time she knew how important and few moments like this were. Moments where both women could simply share a shower, be close and love each other. They for sure would make love later, but this was important as well.

"You crazy woman." Maggie spoke, her voice full of adoration for the person in her arms.

"Come on, I'm waiting." Alex voiced, having turned around, her back facing Maggie's front.

Maggie enjoyed the feeling of waving her fingers through Alex's shorter hairs. It was such an intimate act. In the past Maggie had shared a shower with some women, but she never had felt comfortable enough to share something like this with anyone, maybe other than Emily. But even so Maggie felt completely different about Alex, she envisioned a future with her. Something she had never dared to do.  
Both women stayed in the shower for way too long, washing each other's hair and body. Kissing each other's on the mouth, neck, collarbone, whatever they felt like. It felt good and safe to be together like this.

Later at night, after some dinner and finally (Alex thought) some intense and wonderful lovemaking, both women were spooning in bed. They were both still sweaty and breathing deeply, enjoying the after joy of being this close together. Alex was being the big spoon, for a change, resting one palm right above Maggie's heart, feeling her strong and fast heartbeat. After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence, Maggie slowly turned around in Alex's arms, facing her girlfriend.

"Alex?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can I tell you something?" Maggie asked, her voice small and unsure.

"Of course you can honey?" Alex voiced, placing an arm tightly around Maggie's waist.

"You remember when I told you about my sister?" The detective put into words slowly, looking into Alex's eyes for confirmation. "Tomorrow it's her birthday…" Maggie whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Owh…" Alex stated, not knowing what to say exactly. "You miss her?" Feeling stupid for asking such an obvious question, of course she would miss her sister.

"Yea, I do. So much…" Maggie started, silently crying and hoping Alex wouldn't noticed. "We were just kids and everything happened so fast. I didn't have the chance to really say goodbye to her and I think that's one of the things that hurt the most. It still hurts… I just wish… I don't know" Maggie expressed, her voice choking up, looking down.

"You wish what honey?" Alex asked tenderly, brushing away the tears on Maggie's cheeks.

"That I could see her maybe, talk to her, wish her a happy birthday…?" Maggie voiced quietly, knowing she could trust Alex with her thoughts.

Alex knew she needed to use her words, expressing what she was feeling and thinking as well, but for now she gently tugged Maggie closer toward her own body, hugging the other woman tightly. The agent could feel Maggie's tears on her skin, but she couldn't care less. It hurt her to see her girlfriend like this, but Alex knew somehow it was healthy as well. Finally, Maggie felt safe enough to express those feelings, which was good.

"Babe?" Alex spoke tentatively. The agent felt her girlfriend nod against her neck, knowing she could continue. "Did you ever try to contact her? I… I know it's not my business and I don't know if you did, but maybe…" Alex rambled, hoping that she was at least saying something that made sense and was a little comforting.

"Breath." Maggie whispered, looking up at Alex. A small smile was on her face, despite the tears. "I've tried, I know that she doesn't life in Nebraska anymore. Or at least the last time I checked… It doesn't matter." Maggie ended, fresh tears making her way down her cheeks.

"It does honey. It so does!" Alex began, lovingly stroking Maggie's cheeks, making her look into her own eyes. "It may sound like a stupid idea and I don't want to push you in any way Mags. But if you want we can look up where your sister lives now together?" The agent put into words carefully, kissing Maggie on the lips lightly.

"You would do that?" Maggie asked bewildered, her voice small and uncertain.

"Of course I would Maggie, I love you. Don't you know that by now?" Alex spoke in a tender voice, looking straight into Maggie's eyes.

"I guess I know, sorry. I just… Can you give me a hug please?" Maggie asked quietly, the emotions and memories getting too much.

"Come here babe." Alex spoke, once again bringing her arms tightly around Maggie's waist, kissing her forehead lovingly.

"Thank you." The detective expressed, nestling her head on top of Alex breasts.

Alex hugged Maggie for a long time, feeling the woman finally calming down in her arms. She had been stroking her girlfriend's naked back up and down, placing little kisses on top of her head.

"Thank you." Maggie voiced, once again, tilting her head up a little and kissing Alex's neck.

"Hmmm, no need." Alex whispered.

"Sorry for screwing up…" Maggie expressed, getting interrupted by Alex.

"You didn't screw anything up Maggie. Look at me?" Alex asked, not continuing before Maggie looked her in the eyes. "I'm honored that you trust me with your thoughts and your feelings. You can talk to me, always. Even when one of us or we both end up crying, I'm not gonna love you any less. Okay?" Alex put into words tentatively, stroking Maggie's cheek and in doing so wiping away the last of her tears.

"Okay." Maggie responded in a small voice, more and better words failing her.

"You're okay honey?" Alex asked after some minutes. Maggie was still comfortably nested against Alex's body. Their naked bodies so close together, keeping each other warm. But Alex could almost hear Maggie thinking out loud. "What are you thinking about?" The agent spoke, brushing her nose against Maggie's.

"You." Maggie smiled. "You do make me crazy." The detective started. "I've never cried this much."

"That's my fault?" Alex asked, the uncertainly clearly audible in her voice.

"No and yes, but not in a bad way babe." Maggie responded quickly, kissing Alex's lips lightly. "I'm not used to share my feelings or thoughts and I certainly am not used to cry like this with anyone. I know that you don't mind, but I don't really know why I react so strongly and emotionally sometimes, more like a lot of times these last few weeks and months. It's overwhelming…" The detective told Alex, trying not to cry once again.

"It is overwhelming, trust me. But I also think that it makes us stronger, not only as a couple but as individuals as well. We're learning to trust each other, with more than just the superficial stuff. And I think it will take us time to get used to that overwhelming feeling, but I trust us to be strong enough to overcome that. I love you and I love us!" Maggie exclaimed.

"When did you get so smart, smarty-pants?" Maggie smirked, but nevertheless a shy smile appearing on her face, her dimples on full display.

"You are really crazy." Alex grinned, catching the woman lips and kissing her deeply. "But I love you." The agent breathed deeply when the kiss ended.

"I love you too." Maggie spoke shyly, sleep catching up on her. It had been a long emotional day, some good and some less good things. But the woman loved that she could fall asleep in her girlfriend's arms tonight, feeling safe.

"Try to go to sleep honey, I can see that you're tired." Alex spoke lovingly, silently urging Maggie to turn around in her arms, so she could hold and spoon the woman closely.

"Thank you." Maggie whispered again, cuddling against Alex, loving the softness of her own body against Alex's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for reading my story! I would like to say a special thanks to everyone who left behind a comment, a lovely message. I love everyone of them! THANK YOU! So every commend or request is more than welcome!
> 
> Love I.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!  
> Back with a new chapter, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters!

The birthday of Maggie's sister passed without the detective mentioned it. Alex had declared, a couple of days ago, that she could look up available information about her if Maggie wanted to. So the agent decided it would be up to her girlfriend if she wanted to use that source or not. Alex had been keeping a close look on Maggie, making sure she knew she was loved.  
During the past couple of days, they had been working closely together on a case, which on itself was nothing new. Alex loves working together! At first the couple had needed to learn how to properly separate work and their lives outside work. But now, they were this excellent working duo, trusting each other's instincts and closing cases quicker. On top of that it gave the DEO-agent the opportunity to eye how her girlfriend works. It was something about how she dominated, in a good way, her workplace. How elegant, delicate and good Maggie was at doing her job. It made Alex feel proud to be her girlfriend, to work together with such a wonderful person. To be her girlfriend, to love her! That was like the most amazing feeling ever!

Later at night Maggie had taken over Alex's kitchen, cooking them some simple pasta dish. Even after being together for a little over six months now, the detective didn't have a lot of success to tutor Alex on even some simple recipes. Maggie did not get how such a smart woman and badass agent wasn't skilled to cook. She guessed it was simply because Alex was not into the activity and she didn't feel like she needed to learn it. She loves cooking, or better helping where she could, together with Maggie. But she would never take the time to cook a proper meal for only her. Maggie on her other hand loves to cook, it was somethings she had to learn since she started living with her aunt all those years ago. Her aunt was working long hours and was not a big fan of cooking either. So, the detective took it upon herself to learn how to cook a proper meal for them both, feeling it was a way to say thank you. Her aunt had not accepted Maggie being gay, but she had taken her in. Something that she didn't have to do. So yes, Maggie had been thankful, even if the young woman had not been happy back then.

"Babe?" Maggie spoke, when they were seated at the table, enjoying their meal.

"Myea." Alex uttered between two bites, feeling very hungry and enjoying Maggie's cooking skills.

"Can I take up your proposition about finding out about my sister?" The detective voiced quietly. Maggie had been thinking about contacting her younger sister repeatedly. It had been fifteen years since they last saw each other. Maggie was scared that her sister had all forgot about her. Or even worse that she hated her, because she's gay. Her parents were, are still Maggie thinks, against gay-people, not understanding how you could love or even like in a more than friendly way a person from the same sex.

"Of course you can." The agent responded, gently squeezing Maggie's hand that was resting on the table. "I have a level of clearance that allows me to access all the information that's available 'everywhere' on a person. But, Maggie, although I have that clearance I need to justify my actions. What I mean is that J'onn needs to know, no details but just the basics."

"I understand. I thought so Alex, but he doesn't need any details, right?" Maggie whispered, not comfortable with people knowing about her past. The detective realized that director Henshaw was more familiar about her past and her thoughts than she cared for. But she realized that this was a situation where she needed to reach out, to let people in, in order to have a chance to reach out to her sister.

"No, he doesn't need any details Mags. You're in control of that. Do you want me to be there? I mean, you would likely have to sign some papers, but I can give you the permission to look up that information yourself. Like I have said, you're in control here." Alex put into words carefully, letting her girlfriend know that she had the power here.

"Thank you…" Maggie said. "And I want you there Alex, I don't want to do this alone. I think I can't…"

"I think you can Mags, but you don't need to do it alone. I want to be here for you, always." The agent conveyed, getting up from her stool and making her way toward Maggie. Alex knelled down, being on the same high as Maggie. "You're not alone, okay? You are not alone Maggie." The woman continued, placing her hands on Maggie's cheeks. Alex wanted to make sure Maggie knew that she would be there, every step of the way. Whatever it took, she would not let Maggie do it alone. Maggie is an amazing girlfriend, always making sure she was loved. Alex could always relay on her, no matter what and she wanted to do the same to Maggie. Be her rock as well!

"Thank you." Maggie expressed, dropping her head on Alex's shoulder, draping her arms around Alex's waist. "I love you."

"I love you too honey." Alex reciprocated, kissing the side of Maggie's head.

"When do you think you will have the time and available resources?" The detective asked in a monotone voice, trying to block out her emotions.

"Whenever you have to time and if there are no aliens on the loose."

"So basically never." Maggie spoke, giving Alex a timid smile.

"Always the optimist." Alex smiled, stroking the back of her girlfriend's neck. "You're of next weekend, no?"

"Hmmm, yes."

"We can do it then?"

"Okay." Maggie whispered, her voice small and uncertain.

"You don't have to it then, we can do it later. If you need time babe, that's okay. Remember you are in control here."

"I want to do it next weekend. I want to know how she's doing. I want to reach out… But I'm so scared Alex." Maggie expressed, her voice dropping near the end. "I don't think I could deal with the disappointment. There is a big change that she hates me. We were just kids, but I messed up the family. If it wasn't for me… I was not there to protect her. What if he…" The detective narrated, the emotions getting the best of her.

"What happened was not your fault Maggie. You were just a kid, and even so liking your friend was no excuse for how your parents treated you, for what happened to you when you were just 14. And what you father did to you and your sister was wrong, no matter what. However this turns out, you need to know that it is not your fault! I'm so incredibly proud of you for taken this step, for reaching out." Alex put into words, hugging Maggie's body close to her.

"Come here babe." Maggie spoke, tugging Alex onto her lap.

Alex made herself comfortable, her legs around Maggie's waist, both arms around her girlfriend's neck.

"Do you know how special you are?" The detective breathed against Alex's neck, kissing the corner of her mouth afterward.

A shy smile appeared on Alex's face. Receiving complements from Maggie was not new, but it always made her feel fussy and warm inside. "Thank you… So are you honey." The agent spoke quietly, resting her forehead against Maggie's.

"Do you think she will hate me?" Maggie asked after a while, tightening her arms just a little bit more around Alex's waist.

"Honestly Mags?" Alex spoke, looking into Maggie's eyes. "I don't know. I hope she doesn't, you certainly don't deserve that. But it's been a long time, you are both adults now and a lot had changed, no?" She woman carried on, tucking some lose hairs behind Maggie's ear, knowing it calmed the woman down.

"I guess. I just think that I'm finally ready to contact her. In the past, I've looked her up but never pursuit that lead. I was too afraid. I mean, I still am, but I don't know… I feel ready." Maggie voiced.

"I am so proud of you, I hope you know that." The agent said honestly, meaning every single word. Alex had always, or at least once she accepted her sister, proud of Kara. It was a deep emotion she could not really explain fully. That same tenderness, on top of a lot of love, was what she is feeling toward Maggie. As overwhelming as it was on some occasions, it is the best feeling she ever experienced. They both had their bad days, but Alex would always be there. Support and love her, no matter what.

"I love you." Maggie whispered, not giving recognition to Alex sweet words. At the moment the detective was feeling too moved by everything going on in her head, that she lacked any proper words.

"I love you more." Alex smiled, lovingly tickling Maggie's side, finally earning a laugh from her girlfriend.

"I love you even more." Maggie laughed, peppering Alex's face with little kisses.

"I love you more than that." Alex rejoined, catching Maggie's lips in a deep kiss.

"Not possible."

One week later, on Friday evening, Maggie entered the DEO building. The plan had been to meet up with Alex after her shift ended, her girlfriend having reassured her more than once, that they would have the privacy they needed. The detective had been apprehensive about all of it, but she was sure she wanted this.

"Hey babe." Alex greeted her, walking toward her. Alex kissed her lightly on the cheek, still being at her workplace.

"Hey Alex." Maggie responded, giving Alex a brief hug. "You look really sexy in that outfit special agent Danvers." The detective whispered against Alex's left ear, making the woman blush.

Alex had learned early on in their relationship that Maggie likes seeing her in her DEO-outfit. The woman would get that look in her eyes that the agent knew was one connected with Maggie getting worked up. But right now was not the place, nor the time for that. Alex also realized that her girlfriend was most likely using her words as a way to try to deflect the current situation. The agent knew Maggie was nervous, not really knowing what they were going to find out about her sister. Alex had asked permission from J'onn to use DEO resources, which the man granted under some conditions. Yes, the DEO had access to lots of information, but they only used that when necessary, when the city was in danger. It was uncommon to use it for personal issues. But he had agreed on using their systems, if the couple would only look for the available information, what was know from the regular records, no hacking or digger deeper involved. Alex understood that they were crossing a thin line, they still needed to respect a person's privacy. Maggie and she had talked that through, knowing they were crossing some lines along the way. They also discussed that if they didn't find any quickly available information what they would do then? Alex wanted to protect her girlfriend from getting hurt or getting hurt again. Maggie understood all that, as well as director Henshaw directions, and in the end decided she still wanted to go through with it.

"I love you too." Alex responded tenderly. "You're ready Mags?" The agent asked, grabbing Maggie's hand in hers.

"Hmmm, just lead the way." Maggie said, giving Alex's hand a little squeeze.

Together, the couple made their way toward Alex's workplace. Alex knew how to work the system of looking someone up and that was all they would do.

"You can take my chair." Alex voiced, closing the door of her office, grabbing an extra chair in the corner.

Alex took a seat next to Maggie, placing her hand on Maggie's thigh. "You're ready Maggie?"

"I am, just a bit nervous." The detective expressed honestly, dropping her head on Alex's shoulder.

"I know honey." Alex whispered, kissing the side of her girlfriend's head lovingly, waving her fingers through Maggie's hair.

"Okay I can do this." Maggie declared, putting on her brave face, sitting up straight.

"You're not alone." Alex spoke quietly, placing a quick kiss on Maggie's cheek.

A couple of minutes later the computer system was gathering information on Maggie's sister, Rosa Sawyer.

"That's it?" Maggie asked, once all the information was popped up on the screen.

"Yes… You're okay Maggie?" Alex responded, seeing the unsettled look on her face.

"I think so. I already know most, not a lot had changed over the years. She's still living in Chicago."

"Your sister is a lawyer and engaged." Alex said tentatively.

"Yea, that's new. But in a good way. I hope she is happy and has a good life. I'm proud of her." The detective muttered, feeling herself getting overwhelmed, tears welling in her eyes.

"Come here babe." Alex whispered, embracing Maggie in a tight side hug. "You've got an address Mags, you can contact her, if you want. That's what you hoped for, no?"

"Yes…" Maggie breathed, melting her body into Alex's. "Can we print the info and you home?" The detective asked in a small voice.

"Sure sweetheart, just give me a minute and we can you to my place. We will order in something and lots of cuddles. You need lots of cuddles." Alex put into words, her voice soft and tender, kissing Maggie's forehead before grabbing the paper from the printer.

"Thank you." Maggie expressed, slowly putting on her coat, so ready for all the cuddles her girlfriend was offering.

"Ready?" Alex asked, extending her hand toward her girlfriend. She had placed the papers in her own bag, knowing Maggie didn't carry a bag to work.

"Yes, take me out of here." Maggie spoke, grabbing Alex's extended hand.

Later that night Maggie was still lying awake in bed, Alex sleeping peacefully next to her. They had talked some more about what the detective wanted to do next. She would send a letter to her sister, a first step to reach out. To maybe one day reconcile, trying to have a bond with her. That would be the best possible outcome. What prevented her from sleep were all the negative scenarios going through her head. What if her sister never responded, or worse did sent a letter back, telling her to back off. That she didn't want anything to do with her, feeling she was to blame for everything.

"Honey? You should try to get some sleep…" Alex murmured, still half asleep turning around in bed so she was spooning the smaller woman.

"I can't… What if she hates me?" Maggie whispered, getting emotional. "What if I make a big mistake by reaching out? I don't want to feel like…"

"Like what honey?" Alex proposed, silently asking Maggie to turn around and face her.

"It's not important Alex. We should try to get some sleep." Maggie voiced, feeling too emotional and wanted to end this conversation.

"It's important babe. We're awake, we don't need to work tomorrow and even so I do feel that it is important to talk about it. I've seen your struggling Maggie, don't push it away. Don't push me away please." Alex put into words carefully, not letting Maggie get away thing time.

"It's not a happy topic." Maggie responded quietly after a long and heavy minute.

"That doesn't mean you can't talk about it. We're more than just the superficial stuff."

"I know. Just give me a minute." The woman spoke, resting her head against Alex's chest, lying side by side. What Maggie was about to confess was not something she had ever told anyone before. Alex had that magic power, you could call it love Maggie thought, to make her open up about herself. Exposing herself and telling Alex stories, she had never the strength and longing to do.

"I hated my life after everything that happened at home. One day everything was fine, or at least okay and then a minute later everything went south. It was so hard, I didn't know what to do with myself. I hated myself so much and it let me to do some stupid stuff… I didn't want to feel anymore, so I… You know…" Maggie laid open, looking down.

Alex felt the tears in her eyes, guessing what Maggie was hinting at. She didn't want to image what Maggie had been through, hating that she had been in so much pain. So much that she was thinking about that?

"End your life Mags?" Alex uttered, feeling herself getting sick by that idea.

"I guess so…" Maggie whispered, unable to stop the tears.

"Oh babe." The agent uttered, hugging Maggie close to her.

"I don't feel like that anymore. I'm happy now, but if my sister hates me. That would make me so sad. I know it would be my fault."

"It would not be your fault Maggie. How can it be your fault?" Alex interrupted, definitely not liking how Maggie was thinking about herself.

"But it is Alex, don't you see that." Maggie spoke, getting frustrated by herself.

"No, I don't sweetie. Being gay is not a sin, you've told me that so many times yourself. Being kicked out was not your fault. The household you grow up in was out of your hands. You've done amazing. You're a detective and you have a family who loves you. You're not alone here Mags." Alex spoke, cupping Maggie's cheeks in her hands, looking into her sad eyes and making sure she was getting the message through her.

"I just hate it." Maggie whispered, her voice lacking emotion, trying to stop the tears from flowing down her eyes. The woman broke the hug, turning onto her back, hands draping over her eyes, trying to physically block out her emotions.

Alex realized Maggie had reached her emotional point, blocking her out. She felt bad and sad, seeing her girlfriend in this state. She would never understand how her parents could just turn their backs on their own daughter. Maggie is an amazing woman, but she had known a lot of heartfelt. More that anyone should ever get through. Maggie had turned her life into something that she should be proud of, but the more she got to know her girlfriend, the more Alex realized Maggie hid a lot about her self and what she's been through.  
Tentatively Alex draped her arm around Maggie's stomach, still lying on her side.

"I love you Maggie." The agent told her quietly, knowing more words would only overwhelm Maggie even more.

"I love you too." Maggie whispered after a long time, placing a hand on Alex's arm on her stomach.

The detective was feeling exhausted, emotionally drained. She didn't want to know what Alex was thinking about her right now. She's weak... Maggie knew Alex was keeping an eye on her, staying silent, something that the detective appreciated. Eventually both women fell in a fitful sleep, exhaustion taking over. But Maggie knew this would not be the end of it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received some amazing comments, THANK YOU! It keeps me on track and makes my day! Every single one of them is so so welcome, always!
> 
> Enjoy the rest of your weekend!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!  
> I'm here with a new chapter, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

A couple of weeks passed without anything out of the ordinary happening. Work for both women was the same as always. Some cases were harder than others, leaving Alex and Maggie tired and happy to be at home, to have some quiet time together. They love their jobs, something that not a lot of people understood. It, their passion about their jobs, was something that bonded them. One of the many things on their endless list! They match in such a way that still amazes them, even when they had their own personality and preferences. Alex feels like Maggie is really her person, her perfect fit. Since a short time, the agent allowed herself to dream about a future with Maggie. How their lives would look like in a couple of years. Maybe they would have their own house, a child (who known), hopefully everything they both dream about.

Which each day passing Alex could feel Maggie's nerves peeking, guessing it came from not hearing anything back from her sister. Maggie had sent her a letter a little more than a month ago, explaining who she was and why she was sending her a letter. One night the detective had asked Alex to proofread the letter, making sure she was not screwing up with some spelling or grammar mistake. That same night the couple had spent hours tenderly making love. Alex wanted Maggie to know that she loves her, no matter what the outcome would be.  
For maybe the first time ever Alex felt like every little piece in her life was how it should be. She and Kara were closer than ever, the relationship with her mother was getting better and better, she enjoys her work, had really great friends, but most of all she felt comfortable with who she truly is. For many years Alex had felt this emptiness, something she couldn't explain what it was. But since meeting Maggie, despite their rough start, Alex finally understood what was missing. Maggie had shown her what love looks like, what if feels like! And the agent had never been happier! Maggie had told her, more than once, that she would screw up, that she was not made for love, that she was not worthy… Alex knew where these feelings and thoughts most like came from and she hoped that by showing Maggie and telling her how deeply she feels, that one day these thoughts would not be that present anymore.  
The fact that Maggie had not heard anything from her sister, wasn't making things any easier. Alex had been keeping closer contact with her mom over the phone, telling her about the letter and the whole story. She left most of the details out, respecting Maggie's privacy. But somewhere along the way Alex's mother suggested that maybe Maggie should talk to a professional. Doctor Danvers had met Maggie on multiple occasions up until now and she had noticed how closed of the woman was. At the same time, the older woman felt the love between the two women. She had never seen Alex this happy and carefree! But Eliza felt protective over Maggie, wanting her to be happy and carefree.  
Her mom suggestion had made Alex think and recall everything she knows about Maggie. There were a lot of black spots in her girlfriend's stories, knowing that Maggie held back on a lot of things. Alex wanted to address her feelings and thoughts, but she was scared Maggie would withdraw even further.

"I can hear you thinking very loudly babe." Maggie spoke, sitting in front of her girlfriend. They had just finished dinner, both sipping on their drink.

"Euh… Sorry, what?" Alex voiced, having not heard anything Maggie had said.

"You're cute." Maggie smirked, sending Alex a bright smile. "What were you thinking about?"

"You." Alex smiled, hoping Maggie would not ask any further questions. She wanted to express her feelings, but maybe not right now? She didn't know, they needed to talk about it at one point.

"Funny Danvers."

"But I'm serious. I was thinking about how much I adore you, among other things." The woman rambled, seeing the funny look on Maggie's face. "And don't laugh at me, I'm being serious here."

"I know Alex, sorry." Maggie responded in a soft voice. The woman got up and started to clear the table, but not before placing a kiss on Alex's temple. "Love you."

"You too." Alex said, lightly smacking Maggie's derrière. "You're still okay with doing movie night here tomorrow?" The agent continued, guessing the serious conversation could wait a little longer.

"Yea sure Alex, who not?"

"Just checking. Sunday will be all ours."

"Sounds good." Maggie said casually, putting away the last of the dishes.

Alex made her way toward Maggie, standing behind the shorter woman and draping both arms around her girlfriend's waist.

"You're okay Maggie, you've been quiet all night?" Alex spoke tentatively, kissing Maggie's neck.

"Back at you babe." Maggie declared, turning around in Alex's arms, so she was facing the woman.

"Mags… We're not getting anywhere like this." Alex said, a little frustration audible in her voice.

"So now it's my fault!"

"No Maggie, it's nobodies fault. It's just a question. Talk honey…" Alex put into words tenderly, tucking some loose hairs behind Maggie's ear.

"It's nothing. Just a long day at work." Maggie responded, bringing both arms around Alex's shoulders.

"I get that, early night in for us?" Alex articulated, nuzzling her noise against Maggie's.

"That sounds amazing." Maggie breathed.

Later at night both women were engrossed in their own thing, Alex reading the latest magazine of Nature, while Maggie was looking through her mails. The comfortableness that came with moments like this, was something new for them both. Alex knew they needed to talk in earnest and she guessed Maggie realized that as well. They would, eventually…

"I'm gonna get ready for bed." Maggie spoke, standing behind Alex, who was sitting at the couch.

"Hmmm just a couple more minutes." Alex mumbled, fully entranced by the last article.

"No rush." Maggie said, dropping a light kiss on top of Alex's head before going to the bathroom and getting herself ready for bed.

"Have you heard anything from your sister Mags?" Alex asked, ripping away the bandage and going for the question directly.

Maggie was still sitting up, her back resting against the headboard, a book in hand.

"No, I would have told you Alex." Maggie spoke, not liking the topic of conversation. Alex took the seat next to Maggie, grabbing one of her hands in hers. "I don't think I will hear anything." The detective whispered, closing the book and giving Alex her full attention.

"I'm sorry honey… Maybe she needs a little time." Alex spoke in a tender voice, moving around a little on the bed, so she was sitting in front of Maggie, her legs around the woman's waist.

"Yea maybe, I would understand. I just need some time to process it." Maggie spoke in a quiet voice, stroking Alex's legs.

"And you take your time for that sweetie. But I don't want you to shut me out. You can talk to me. But you know… If you can't, maybe you should talk to someone else." Alex expressed tentatively, not breaking eye-contact.

"You want me to see a therapist, you think I can't handle this?" Maggie spoke, her voice raising. Did Alex think she was losing it?

Alex could see how Maggie was bringing back up all the walls around her. She was trying to break free from the contact with Alex, bringing her knees up against her chest. On top of that she tried to not let Alex read her feelings, something the other woman had become good in, by breaking eye-contact.

"Babe, you're one of the bravest and strongest persons I know. Yes, you can handle this. But the things you told me not so long ago, about how you were feelings shortly after went living with your aunt, I don't want you to experience that again. Never! And I'm here, I hope you know that. But I feel that's not enough." The agent spoke, her voice giving away how much it was touching her. She could see that Maggie was listening, but she was not making any indicating to initiate any contact or to speak.

"I love you Maggie, my feelings for you grow stronger every day and I'm not gonna turn my back on you. But this, your feelings and the way you cope with them is something that has been there from the beginning. It's a part of you, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I think that's how you coped with everything since a very young age and that makes you brave and strong. But if you want this, waving between them, to work for the rest of our lives, because I know I want that, that it can't continue like this. I've already told you that I'm not here to judge you about things that happened in the past. I don't care about that. I mean, I do but not in a way that I will ever hold anything against you. But please let me help Maggie or look for help, I don't want you to be in pain and unhappy." Alex continued, feeling how her eyes filled with tears.

"You don't make me unhappy Alex, I love you so much." Maggie spoke in a small voice, looking up at Alex, seeing the tears in her eyes and knowing hers weren't any better.

"You too Mags… Would you just think about it?" Alex breathed, placing a hand on Maggie's knee, hoping she would not shy away from the contact, something that did happen from time to time when things became too close for the detective.

"Not right now."

"Yes, no… No pressure babe. Just don't push it away? Please…"

"Okay… I'm sorry Alex. I just don't know why it's been so hard these past months. I don't want to hurt you or push you away, but it feels like that's all I do and I hate that." Maggie responded, her voice breaking.

"Come here." Alex spoke, opening her arms so Maggie could come to her if she wanted to.

After some hesitation, Maggie melted into the hug Alex was offering. The detective was resting her head on Alex's chest, folding herself in a little ball, but at the same time clinging to Alex's body.

"Just breath honey, you're safe here." Alex whispered against Maggie's ear, feeling how her body was shaking, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Let it out Mags."

"I'm okay." Maggie voiced after a while, her voice sounding of. Alex was gently stroking Maggie's back with one hand, the other waving through her hair. "Thank you for not judging me."

"Never Maggie." Alex responded, looking straight into Maggie's eyes, letting her know that she was meaning every word she had spoken.

"Do you think talking to someone will help?" Maggie whispered, still resting into Alex's embrace.

"I think it can help yes. I'm all about science and you know the facts. Sometimes I think psychology is just all the same talk over and over again. But a long time ago, after one of my first missions for the DEO, I needed some help. Actually, John forced me to talk to a therapist, but I guess it helped. But Maggie, I don't want to force you into therapy. It's just something I want you to think about. I want you to be feel okay."

"I want to feel better. It's just… I'm not used to talk about all this, you know… Maybe that's way it's hitting me hard right now. I don't know." Maggie put into words, looking up at Alex.

"Maybe and that's okay. You're more than allowed to feel things Maggie." The agent expressed, resting her hands on Maggie's cheeks, resting her forehead against Maggie's.

"Myea… It's just stupid, all of it. I don't want to think about it anymore."

"It's not stupid babe, it's hard. Don't turn it down like it's nothing…"

"Okay."

"I love you." Alex tenderly spoke, kissing Maggie's cheek. "Time for bed babe?"

"Hmmm, yes please." Maggie mumbled. She was feeling so tired, emotionally spend. The detective knew she was slowly reaching her limit, where everything would become too much. And if she was being honest, she was afraid to make mistakes, to screw the good thing she had with Alex. That's what scaring her the most at the moment. Maybe talking to someone would not be that bad. The woman just needing some time, to gain some perspective about it all.

"Alex?"

"Hmmm." Alex hummed, lightly kissing Maggie's neck. Usually it was Maggie who hugged Alex from behind, but tonight the agent was spooning her girlfriend.

"Would you mind if I pass tomorrow night. I know it's game night, but I need some time. Not because I don't want to be with you, but I just…" Maggie tried to put into words, hoping she was not hurting Alex's feelings.

"Babe…" Alex started, guiding Maggie's body around, so she was looking at her. "You take your time, okay! I will miss you, and I'm sure I won't be the only one. But you do what you need to do." The agent continued.

"You're sure you don't mind Alex? I can be here, if you want me to."

"No Mags, I don't. But we're still on for Sunday, right?"

"Of course." Maggie said, stroking Alex's waist.

"And I'm only a phone call away and I can come over at any moment. Okay?"

"I know. Thank you for caring." Maggie spoke in a quiet voice, kissing Alex's shoulder lovingly.

"Always." Alex said, making herself comfortable, arms around Maggie. The agent hoped Maggie would get some sleep, knowing that her nights had been broken up with bad dreams or because she was unable to fall asleep, thinking everything through over and over again. The detective tried to hide it from her, but when it came to Maggie, there wasn't much Alex didn't see. Actually, there was a lot Alex didn't know to be honest, but she hoped that at one point Maggie wouldn't feel like she needed to hide her true self, her feelings, everything so much. But for now, Alex hoped she made Maggie feel safe enough to hold on.

"I love you so much." Alex whispered. Maggie was asleep, for now, but Alex felt the need to speak those words aloud. Even when Maggie wasn't hearing them, the agent hoped she felt them. After dropping a kiss on Alex's forehead, Alex closed her eyes hoping sleep would come quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews I get, I appreciate that.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Finally, a new chapter, enjoy! As far as posting new chapter goes, I will be gone for the next month due to exams. That means a new chapter will be posted at the end of June. I hope you can understand that!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

"I've made an appointment with a therapist." Maggie voiced. Both women where in the bathroom, each busy with their own night routine. The detective had just exited the shower, having gone to the gym that night. Alex on the other hand was brushing her teeth, leaving her unable to answer immediately, which most likely had been Maggie's purpose.

"I'm proud of you." Alex spoke in a tender voice, when she was finished. The agent tugged Maggie's body toward her, kissing her bare shoulder.

"Don't…" Maggie responded in a cold voice. The detective wasn't feeling proud or confident about her decision at all. On the contrary, she felt weak for needing some help, but she wanted to feel better. Not just for her, but she wanted her relationship with Alex to work. Her girlfriend deserved that much!  
As a response to Alex words, Maggie turned her body, that was only covered with a towel, away from Alex's touch.

"Maggie?" Alex questioned. The woman knew, or rather had experienced, that there were times when Maggie didn't like to be touch in a caring way. The agent could see that disappointed look in Maggie's eyes, but had no real idea what her girlfriend was thinking. But she wasn't about to let Maggie hide her feelings, they were in this together, the good and the bad.

"You're right Alex, I need help. But I hate that I need that. I've dealt with all of it when I was 14 or at least I thought I did… So why is it a problem once again?" Maggie expressed, the frustration clearly audible in her voice. "I don't want you to tell me you're proud because it's nothing to be proud of. It's pathetic and I just want it all over. I don't want to think about all of that anymore, it's all in the past!" The detective continued, her voice raising with each spoken word.

"You think you're being weak Maggie for needing a little help? Babe…"

"Don't! I don't want to hear it Alex. You may think that I am strong, but I'm not okay. I screw up, that's what I do. If you keep sticking around, you will see that for yourself. So just don't!" Maggie interrupted, in a loud voice. The woman turned around and made her way toward Alex's bedroom, grabbing her clothes in the process.

"Don't yell at me Sawyer." Alex spoke, following Maggie. "You can feel angry or whatever. I don't know how you feel, but I get that it must suck. And that it is hard, but you don't just get to walk away. Not anymore, we've been through this. You and me, we're solid. But you can't just go off like this!" Alex put into words, knowing that Maggie was testing her limits on purpose. "I get that you need space and that you feel frustrated…"

"I need to go." Maggie interrupted Alex, having put on some fresh clothes. She had heard Alex and rationally she knew that the woman was right. She was lashing out because she was frustrated, so frustrated with herself and the whole situation. Maggie had hoped that Alex would get angry as well, pushing her away… But if she was truly honest with herself, she felt scared and lonely in some way. Scared because she would have to deal with her past properly, if she wanted to finally put it behind her. And Maggie wanted the past to be in the past, but at the moment, she just couldn't deal with Alex being the most perfect girlfriend. Why do I always want to screw things up, when it becomes too hard?, the detective thought.

Without looking back, Maggie grabbed all her stuff she needed and left Alex's place. Leaving behind a dumbfounded Alex behind, having no idea what really just happened. Did she needed to follow her girlfriend or give her the space she clearly needed? In the end Alex ended up in her bed alone. She had send Maggie a long text message, telling her she loves her, that they needed to talk about what just happened and that if Maggie wanted she still could come back. But for most the agent wanted to know if Maggie was safe. Two hours later, the only response Alex had gotten were a few words stating that Maggie was safe at her place. Knowing that nothing more would come Alex decided to try to get some sleep. Hopefully they would see each other tomorrow.

"Sawyer, a word please." Alex spoke, full in work mode or at least trying to.

A new case had forced the women to face each other early the next morning. Both hadn't got much sleep, each thinking over and over again about what had happened and more.

"Danvers." Maggie responded, her voice missing its usual confidence.

Alex could see the dark circles under her girlfriend's eyes, guessing she didn't have much sleep. At the moment the agent whished they were in a more private place, instead of out in a deserted street. She wanted to give Maggie a hug, even when she was not feeling okay about Maggie leaving her place like she did.

"You're on the case?" Alex asked, guessing that Maggie was, otherwise she wouldn't be here. But the woman needed a way to reach out.

"I am." The detective started. "Alex?"

Alex was surprised to hear so much uncertainly in Maggie's voice, for the first time that day looking into her eyes.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I… I panicked." Maggie put into words slowly, trying not to cry, knowing they were both working.

Alex could see how her girlfriend was struggling to keep her emotions in check, her eyes glassy with tears.

"I know it's not an excuse and I would understand if you don't want to talk to me or…" Maggie tried to explain further, hoping she would get another change to actually do the right thing and talk to her girlfriend.

"I want to talk Maggie, but you can't keep me at arm's reach." Alex expressed, taking a step closer toward her.

"I know, sorry."

"You drove here alone?" Alex asked.

"No, I came with a colleague."

"Kay… I know we're working but do you want to get a coffee somewhere?"

"I would like that. Thank you…" Maggie whispered, following Alex toward the DEO vehicle. Once inside the car, Alex could see how a few lonely tears escaped Maggie's eyes, a deep breath leaving her mouth. Alex squeezed the detective's tight, letting her know that it was okay to show her her feelings.

"I love you." Alex spoke in a quiet voice. She wanted Maggie to know that despite what had happened yesterday, her love hadn't changed.

"You too." Maggie said, her voice clouded with tears. The detective was looking at her hands that were resting in her lap, her hair covering most of her face. She truly was having a difficult moment. Maggie knew she had made a mistake yesterday by walking out on Alex. She had done it before, when she had told Alex the truth about her 'forced' coming out on Valentine's day. After that incident, both women had made a pact do not do that, they would talk instead even when it would be hard. Or they would tell each other when they needed a moment alone. Yet, Maggie had done it again, feeling too overwhelmed. Which was no excuse!

Tenderly Alex brushed away some of Maggie's hairs, liking to see her face. "I will not give up on us, on you Maggie." The agent voiced, kissing the side of Maggie head. "But you have to fight as well. You can't keep pushing everything down, I know that it was your way of dealing with everything at such a young age. And you survived, you did all that. But, just…"

"I wanted you to get annoyed with me, not really actually… I don't want to lose you, but I'm doing all the wrong things." Maggie expressed, grabbing Alex's hand that was still resting on her tight in hers. "I don't know what I'm doing or thinking anymore." The detective continued in a sad voice. "Sorry. Can we talk more tonight? I would understand if you don't want to or…"

"I want to Mags, we need to. You're okay with going back to work?" Alex asked in a tender voice, squeezing her hand.

"I guess so. But first coffee, right?" Maggie asked, trying to get her emotions and feelings back in check. Work required her full attention, things could go horribly wrong if she lost her focus.

"Off course." Alex smiled, once again kissing Maggie's temple. "I'm paying."

"I love you Alex."

Later that same night, Maggie entered Alex's apartment with a small heart. The agent had agreed on talking, so Maggie knew she needed to make an effort. She couldn't lose them.

"I'm in the bathroom." Alex spoke, having heard Maggie coming through the door. The agent could hear how her girlfriend removed her shoes and she hung up her jacket on the coat rack, before making her way toward the bathroom.

"Hey." Maggie responded in a shy voice. She was resting with her full weight against the bathroom door, looking at how Alex was changing into some more comfortable clothes.

"Come here." Alex voiced, grabbing one of Maggie's hands and tugging her toward her own body. "I've longed for this the whole day." The DEO agent whispered against Maggie's ear, when she had finally her girlfriend in her arms.

"Me too." Maggie breathed out, bringing both arms around Alex's waist, her own forehead resting against her girlfriend's shoulder.

"You're hungry?" Alex asked, guessing that the answer would most likely be no.

"Not really, but I can cook us something if you like?" The smaller woman responded, not loosening her grip on Alex's body.

"You don't need to, I can see that you're tired Maggie. We can order some pizza or whatever you feel up to."

"Pizza sounds nice. Alex?" Maggie started, putting a little distance between them, even when Alex kept a strong hold on her hands.

"Yes."

"I am really sorry about yesterday. I know I've already told you, but I want you to know that I mean it. It was a stupid thing of me to do, more so because we promised each other not to run away when things get hard. I broke that rule. I keep expecting you to give up on me." Maggie put into words, looking into Alex's eyes, being completely honest.

"And I won't honey. I know you don't really belief that, I can see it in your eyes. But I love you Maggie. You have turned my world upside down, quite literally. You made me realize who I really am, that I'm capable of loving someone in a not familiar kind of way. But also, that I am lovable. Which may sound kind of silly. We both have our past, things, maybe too many things that should not have happened to us. For me getting into the DEO was my saving. It gave me purpose, and it still does. Off course most days are far from fun, but it's what I love doing. I have my own little group of friends, more like family there. I know that I'm loved by them and that does amazing things to my emotional well-being, if you can call it that. I know that you job love your job, but I think that I'm right when I say that it doesn't come with a group of people you can rely on in the same way. You are a good listener, you have such a big heart Maggie, but you don't trust people easily. I will never understand what you've gone through, but it left you with some scars. I know that and so do you. You let me in Maggie, you love me. I can feel your love so deeply. It shows me once again what an amazingly strong woman you are, even when you don't belief that. Yes, I won't deny that what happened yesterday did not hurt me, but Maggie… I still love you. It would be so unfair of me to turn my back on you, after everything that you've done for me. You're hurting Maggie, I can see that. But I will not let you go, you're mine and I will fight for you. You can keep trying to push me away, but I won't walk away. But I want you to talk to me, you can't continue to keep it all in. I know you talk, but you're only giving me little snapshots on what you're feeling or thinking. I want you to trust me completely. Can you do that Maggie?" Alex expressed, putting into words what she was feeling and thinking. The agent tenderly brushed away a tear that was making his way down to Maggie's cheek, slowly dropping her forehead against hers.

"I want to. I am trying. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to push you away, even when I do that." Maggie declared, letting herself feel safe by Alex's touch.

"I'm not going anywhere." Alex said in a soft voice once again, placing both hands on Maggie's cheeks and looking into her eyes.

"I am so afraid to lose you. I can't lose someone I love again, it would kill me." The detective spoke, her voice all clouded up with tears.

"Why do you think that you will lose me Maggie. You keep saying that, but I don't know why. Tell me please."

"I… I'm bad Alex. My parents, they used to tell us all the things we did wrong… I've cheated on Emily and I broke more than one of the rules between us. I'm not a good person Alex." Maggie murmured, trying to break free of Alex's contact.

"You're not a bad person Maggie. We've all made mistakes. Our past makes us who we are, good and bad. I do belief that. Your past has turned you into this incredible, smart, caring and even when most people don't see it, sensitive woman. I mean that in an absolutely positive sense of the word. Your big heart is one of the things that made me fall in love with you. I will help you get through this. If you want me to, I will help you to look up the help you need. You're an amazing person Maggie, you truly are. You already took the first step, that's big."

"Thank you, I know I need help. That's why I made that appointment. But I feel so angry and disappointed in myself. I know going to therapy is not a shame, not at all. But I thought I had put everything behind me, and it's too confronting to realize that I've not. I think what my parents did hurt me more than I ever thought or want to acknowledge." Maggie whispered.

"Oh sweetheart." Alex spoke, hugging Maggie, feeling how her girlfriend's body was shaking in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. "Thank you for telling me Maggie." The agent continued, stroking Maggie's back up and down, hoping she could at least provide some comfort.

During the rest of the evening, Alex could see the distant look in Maggie's eyes. Once again, the agent was realizing how much Maggie kept inside, and how much it took out from her to open up.

"You're staying the night, right?" Alex asked, not comfortable with leaving Maggie to go to her own place. It was not as if they spend most nights in their respective places these past few weeks anyway.

"I would like that." Maggie voiced, looking up from the place where she was resting with her head on Alex's lap.

"Okay." Alex said, continuing with stroking Maggie's hair, alternating it with tracing the lines of her girlfriend's face with the tips of her fingers.

"I wish I would hear something for my sister." Maggie muttered after a long comfortable silence. Both women had traded the couch for the comfort of Alex's bed. The detective was curled into Alex's body, her head resting on her chest. "Sometimes I think I've made a big mistake by reaching out. I dreamed about her so much over the years, I still do, and I wish we could see each other again. I know that will probably never happen…"

"Maybe, but you don't know that for sure. She as well may need some time before she can respond to your letter. Don't give up just yet." Alex responded in a tender voice, tightening her grip around Maggie's waist.

"Since when did you became the optimist?" Maggie questioned, a teasing tone audible in her voice, despite the heaviness of the situation.

"Simply trying to be realistic babe."

"Thank you." Maggie whispered, closing the topic of her sister as quickly as she opened it.

"Always, try to get some sleep Maggie. I know you're tired."

"Hmmm, love you." The detective voiced, kissing the top of Alex's covered breast before making herself comfortable on her own side of the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the review I've received, love them! So, like always, don't hesitate to leave behind a comment, a suggestion… Thanks and enjoy the weekend.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> I'm back. Exams are done… Finally. With that new chapters will be posted more frequently. This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but longer ones will follow! I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

It took Maggie more than a few weeks before she was comfortable sharing some of the stories she was talking about in therapy. It was always spoken in a quiet and timid voice, far from the confident detective Alex had first met. The DEO agent had learned that afterward Maggie needed some space. Her girlfriend would withdraw into herself, keeping quiet for most of the rest of the night. But once in bed, Alex knew Maggie needed the contact, cuddling their bodies closely together. Before falling asleep the agent could always make out a soft thank you coming from the other woman.  
But slowly, as weeks turned into a month and later two, Alex could see and feel the change in Maggie demeanor. The air around the detective was lighter, like she wasn't caring the whole world on her own shoulders any longer. Maggie had never been anything but the perfect girlfriend, despite her flaws, loving Alex with all her heart. But to say that it was nice, so so nice, refreshing and kind of wonderful to get to know a whole other side of her girlfriend was an understatement. At first, Alex could sense how ashamed Maggie felt when she displayed any negative emotion. The smaller woman used to push her away in a not so subtle way. But nowadays Maggie spoke more freely about what she was truly feeling. She wasn't sharing a lot of deep and heavy stuff, all of that was on her own terms, but it were these little things that took Alex by surprise. For example, last week when they were shopping Maggie would casually tell Alex some ridiculous story about her sister and she and how it became that she can't smell or see corn without feeling kind of nausea. Alex had laughed out loud, making people in the supermarket looking at her strangely, but the woman couldn't care less.

At the moment Alex was undertaking yet another try at cooking them a simple dinner. Maggie's working hours had been crazy the past week. Which resulting in them hardly seeing each other, other when they were both dead tired and more than ready to just close their eyes and fall asleep in each other arms. Fortunately, today was Friday and both woman had the weekend off, if things went well.

"Hey babe." Maggie voiced, after entering Alex's apartment. The detective took of her jacket and boots, putting them in their respectively places.

"Hey you." Alex spoke in an equal soft voice, kissing Maggie on the lips tenderly once the woman had made her way into the kitchen. "How was work?"

"Trying. It's like all the bad guys are on the lose all at the same time. Supergirl have been giving us a hand with catching some of the nasty ones. Remind me to that her properly next time I see her." Maggie answered, stepping into the hug Alex was offering.

"Hmmm, it's kind of quiet at the DEO at the moment, never a good thing. So Kara had some free time on her hands." The agent responded, kissing the top of Maggie's head, feeling how the shorter woman was breading out deeply.

"What are you cooking? It smells nice." Maggie asked, closing the subject about their work for now.

"I'm trying to make some mac and cheese, with some broccoli into the mix as well. It's not a lot, but I'm trying I guess." Alex breathed against Maggie's temple, hugging her girlfriend tight before bringing her focus back to the cooking.

"Well it smells good, you're doing great Danvers." Maggie smirked, letting Alex see that she was feeling proud, even when it was about something as simple as preparing them dinner. "Can I help you with something?"

"Can you set the table please? Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes."

"Sure." Maggie said, swiftly placing a small kiss on Alex's cheek before starting her little task.

Dinner was filled with a lot of playful banter, simply enjoying being able to eat a meal in peace. Afterward things got a little more heated between the two women, slowly making their way toward the bedroom. Being intimate had always been a way to connect with each other on an even deeper level. Their bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. At first Alex had felt somber, if you can call it that, that it took her so long to connect with someone else in such a profound way. But now she couldn't be happier to have shared these moments with Maggie for the first time. And more so, to continue to get to know each other a little bit better every day in and outside of the bedroom. It was truly magical to be able to give Maggie pleasure, to taste her skin, to love her. Seeing the detective enjoying their lovemaking, making it known by these moans now and then and in the end falling over the edge breathing deeply, was truly something amazing to witness. Alex hoped that she would never get tired of that!

"Babe…" Maggie breathed heavy, placing a hand on Alex's arm that she could reach. "I need a minute." The detective voiced, coming down from her second high that night. Sex was so intense with Alex, and Maggie loves that. But right now, she needed some time to regain her sentences. But the shorter woman also wanted to return the favor. Maggie had quickly learned, once they became intimate, that Alex was more favored to giving Maggie pleasure than receiving it. Not that the woman didn't liked it, but in one of the softer moments between them, Alex had whispered that sometimes it was too difficult to open herself like that. She loves Maggie, but from time to time her mind had his own life… Of course Maggie respected that. Even after being together for all these months, really close to a year, they were still getting to know each other. And both parties deserved the time to become more comfortable sharing this cherished time together.

"You're okay Mags?" Alex asked in a soft voice, slowly making her way up, facing her lover. She tenderly kissed Maggie on the lips, the detective tasting herself on Alex's lips.

"Hmmm, I'm great." Maggie whispered against Alex's lips, hugging the other woman closely against her own body. The smaller woman loves the feeling of Alex's weight on top of her, it made her feel safe.

"I've tired you out babe?" Alex smirked, peppering little kisses all over Maggie's face and neck.

"Don't get all smug on me Danvers." Maggie started, squeezing Alex's bum lightly.

"What can I say, I've learned from the best." Alex teased, making herself comfortable against Maggie's side, her head resting on the detective's chest.

"You're a handful." Maggie said in a tender voice, brushing away some of the fallen hairs covering Alex's face. "You're lucky that I love you."

Alex looked up at Maggie with a look that couldn't be described other than love, kissing her girlfriend's shoulder, a love sap smile on her lips. "I love you too."

"I want to taste you too." Maggie whispered in a husky voice a couple minutes later, stroking Alex's back with a little more purpose. "You're okay with that?" Maggie asked between kisses, waiting for Alex's response before going further.

"Yes please." Alex responded, breathing deeply. The woman catched Maggie's lips in a deep kiss, getting lost in the other woman. "I love you so much Maggie."

The next morning

The next morning Alex woke up first, Maggie lying almost completely on top of her, still breathing deeply. The agent softly brushed away some of the hairs from her girlfriend's face.

Last night had been so soft and amazing. They really needed a night just the two of them, no timeline no pressure. Alex hadn't crewed up dinner which in itself was a big win and everything that had followed was just a big bonus. The DEO agent loves being intimate with Maggie. It had taken her so long to experience how sex, lovemaking, whatever you want to call it to feel what it is supposed to feel for her. Maggie had given her something precious, something that Alex would cherish forever. But Maggie detects right? So, it came to no surprise that the other woman knew that Alex was more into giving that receiving. They hadn't talked openly about it, apart from that small comment the agent had made. It was just strange to the agent, one moment she longed for Maggie to pleasure her with her hands, lips, tongue… Other moments she felt too exposed, too vulnerable to let Maggie do all these wonderful things to her. Maggie could tell, Maggie could always tell, which was a blessing and a curse all in one. But at the end it only made her love Maggie even more, deeper.

"Grrr…" Maggie groaned, moving her head against Alex's chest, making the other woman smile by her girlfriend's funny actions.

"A good morning to you." Alex whispered against the top of Maggie's head.

"It's still too early." The detective murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

"You're adorable." Alex voiced, immediately getting a small stab in her side by Maggie's finger. "But also the toughest detective I know, detective Sawyer.

"Better." The smaller woman slurred, hiding her face in the crook of Alex's neck, bringing both arms around her girlfriend's body more tightly.

"What do you want to do today?" Alex asked, stroking Maggie's back up and down.

"Stay here all day. Can we?" Maggie expressed, looking into Alex's eyes briefly.

"That's an option babe. You're still tired?"

"Hmmm… And I like cuddling with you."

"And then I can't call you adorable." Alex smiled. "Close your eyes honey, try to get some more sleep." The agent continued, knowing that Maggie's week had been hectic and that she could do with a bit more sleep.

"You too." Maggie responded, already half asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are always welcome! Thank you all for sticking with this story!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Back with a new chapter! Enjoy and thank you all for reading.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

Maggie was sitting at one of Alex's high chairs on the kitchen island, completely lost in her own thought. This was how Alex found her girlfriend when she entered her apartment.

"Hey babe." Alex said, not getting an answer from the woman. The agent closed the distance between them, kissing Maggie's temple lovingly. "You're okay, you were totally zoned out." Alex said, not looking the look in Maggie's eyes at all.

Maggie handed over the letter she had been reading over and over. "It's my sister. She…" The detective whispered, not looking at Alex.

"Can I read it Maggie?" Alex asked, seeing the of look in Maggie's eyes, even when she refused to make eye-contact for too long.

"Yea whatever."

"It's not whatever Maggie, if you're not comfortable with me reading the letter than I won't." Alex expressed vehemently, placing a hand under Maggie's cheek forcing the shorter woman to look at her.

"You can Alex. I'm just not in the mood to talk about it right now." Maggie expressed.

"Okay honey."

"Is it okay if I go for a walk? I'm not running away, I just… I need a moment." Maggie spoke in a quiet and uncertain voice.

"Of course Maggie. You take all the time you need, I will be right here waiting for you. Come here honey." Alex put into words, urging Maggie to stand up so she could embrace her in a tight bear hug.

"Thank you." Maggie whispered, feeling her getting emotional. She just needed another moment alone. The detective had found the letter in the post when she came home to her apartment after work. It came so unexpectedly, even when she still hoped to hear something back. The woman had read the letter, feeling how her heartbeat had been rising with every word she had been reading. Afterward she just wanted to be near Alex, even when right now, she felt like she needed a moment alone. Which all in all made no sense, her feelings and emotions were all over the place. Maggie just hoped that Alex would get it why she needed a moment alone.

A few moments later Maggie left the apartment, leaving Alex alone. The woman took the seat Maggie had previously occupied, taken the letter in hand and started reading.

\- Start of the letter -

Hi Margaret,

My apologies for taking such a long time to answer your letter. Don't get me wrong, it's good to hear you. I just did not expect it. To be honest I don't have any idea where to start, it's been such a long time. Maybe we can start with some basics?

In your letter you mentioned you live in National City. Have you been staying there for a long time? What do you do for work? Do you have a family of your own? I have so many questions Margaret.

We have missed so much of each other's life. Believe me when I tell you that I think a lot about you. You're still my big sister. What happened when we were younger and what you've gone through… It wasn't fair. I really hope you are doing well.

It's just an idea, but maybe we could exchange emails? That way we can build up a closer contact, get to know each other again? But only if you are comfortable with that! If you want to, you can contact me through this e-mail address: .

Greets,

Rosa S.

\- End of the letter -

Alex read the letter a few times, thinking that Maggie's sister was ready to rebuild their relationship if Maggie herself wanted that. So that sounded not bad, right? The agent realized that this would be a huge step for her girlfriend, knowing that Maggie hadn't heard anything from her family for over 15 years. So, thinking Maggie was overwhelmed, would be an understatement. Even when Alex thought Maggie would most likely not talk about it, she hoped that her girlfriend would talk or share some of her feelings with someone… That she would not go through all that alone. After some more thinking and hoping that Maggie was safe, wherever she was, Alex decided to order some pizza's. One of them being Maggie's favorite veggie pizza, even when changes were high that the detective would most likely have no appetite.

An hour later Maggie entered Alex's apartment, feeling a little better. The letter said nothing bad, her sister was reaching out. That was maybe the best outcome she could dream of, so that was all good. But since reading the letter Maggie had been thinking that maybe sending her letter in the first place was maybe not the best idea. It would mean facing some things she had pushed so far down. But she wanted to be close to her sister again. Rosa had been the one person that made her youth feel normal and fun. Maggie needed to believe that all this was a good thing.

"Hey." The detective spoke up.

"Hey Maggie." Alex said, making her way toward Maggie. "You're feeling better?"

"I do, thank you. Her letter was good, no?" Maggie asked in an uncertain voice.

"It was honey, she's reaching out. That's a first step. That's what you wanted, no?" The agent put into words, placing her arms around Maggie's waist, tugging her closer toward her own body.

"Yes, it is… I think. It's more than I hoped for. But it's good. I just need some time to process that this is really happening, I guess…" Maggie expressed, resting her head against Alex's collarbone.

Alex was surprised by Maggie's open answer, loving that her girlfriend was learning that it was okay to talk about what she was really feeling. Not just staying the minimum she needed to, to get away with it.

"And it's more than okay to take your time for that, I hope you know that." Alex said, kissing the side of Maggie's head.

"I know, you only keep telling me over and over." Maggie whispered, giving Alex a smile. "And I love you for that." The detective added, she could never be more grateful for Alex's patience and love.

"And I love you." Alex expressed, kissing Maggie's lips between each spoken word. "Pizza should be delivered in ten minutes, good?"

"Not really super hungry, sorry." Maggie murmured, hiding her facing in the crook of Alex's neck. The woman was still feeling quite emotional.

"That's okay, we can re-heat the pizza when you're hungry. You're staying right?" The DEO-agent asked, keeping her arms around Maggie.

"Hmmm yes, I would like that." Maggie answered, loosening her grip around Alex's waist, after one last kiss. The woman took of her jacket and boots, quickly changing into some comfortable pants. The detective could feel Alex's arms sneaking around her waist from behind, resting her chin on Maggie's shoulder.

"Do you need something Maggie? Can I do anything?" Alex put into words, feeling how Maggie let out a deep breath, melting into Alex's body.

After a silent minute of simply soaking into the comfort of Alex's arms and body, Maggie turned around, facing Alex.

"You have no idea how perfect you are." The detective said in a soft voice, giving Alex her full dimpled smile.

"I'm not."

"You are babe! Can we do Netflix and cuddling?" The detective asked, her voice still sounding a little of.

"Hmmm that coupled with pizza, which you don't have to eat if you don't want to but I'm starving, sounds like the most perfect idea detective Sawyer." Alex voiced, grabbing Maggie's hand in hers leading them toward the couch.

Fife minutes later the pizza arrived, Maggie once again being reminded how perfect Alex really is, ordering her favorite. The detective managed to eat a piece of pizza, mostly to please Alex, before cuddling into her girlfriend's side.

The couple decided to watch some OITNB, both liking the show. Alex was currently spooning Maggie, lovingly stroking Maggie's arm.

Later that night…

"Mags, I want you to move in with me. I mean only if you want to of course." Alex spoke once the couple was lying in bed. Both women were facing each other, getting lost in each other's eyes with the little light that was still filtering into the room from outside.

"Alex…"

"No Mags please, just hear me out. These last couple of months we hardly spend any nights apart and the ones we did stay at our own place… I missed you, so much. And I know you're renting your place, while I bought mine. So, it would make more sense for you to move in with me. Or we can look at a new place together… I just want you here with me, I want us to life together. If you don't want to or think it's too early, you have to tell me Maggie." Alex put into words, feeling self-conscious at the moment.

The woman had been thinking about asking Maggie to move in together for a long time now, but not finding the right moment. But Alex realized there may never be a perfect moment and she just wanted Maggie near her… Always!

Maggie herself had been thinking about how it would be to be living together. Emilie had been the last woman she had been sharing a place with. And Maggie hadn't longed or wanted to live with someone else for a long time, not wanting to experience that hurt again. Even when she was to blame for their break up, giving that she had cheated on Emily. But as the months passed by, the detective had been getting more and more excited about the idea to be living with Alex. To have their own little place.

"Breathe babe. What I was going to say is… I would love to move in together." Maggie conveyed, moving herself a little closer toward Alex.

"Really?!" Alex questioned, a surprised look on her face.

"Yes, really Alex! I love you and I want to life with you. But…"

"But what?" Alex interjected, a nervous tone returning in her voice.

"We need a door." Maggie smiled.

"How… what?"

"Your sister, she has the tendency to sometimes fly by unannounced when we're not particularly you know…" Maggie voiced, a laugh escaping her mouth when seeing the dreaded look on Alex's face.

"I know, she has the worst timing… Like always!" Alex responded, a small smile forming on her face as well. "But Mags, we can't really you know put a door here, pointing toward the area of the steps of the bedroom.

"Yea, I know."

"You like this place Maggie?" Alex asked, grabbing Maggie's hand in hers, the other going around her girlfriend's waist.

"I do, but I don't know. I think maybe a bigger place, a place we both fall in love with. I… That sounds appealing to me as well." Maggie spoke in a quiet voice, giving Alex a look full of adoration.

"I would love that Maggie! We could do with a little more space and a door."

"Hmmm yea." Maggie murmured, both women getting lost in their own thoughts for a moment.

"This is big." Alex whispered, a droopy smile visible on her lips.

"It is, but a good big no?"

"Absolutely, I love you. I so so want this."

"Me too." Maggie whispered in a shy voice, kissing Alex on the lips afterward.

"How do you want to do this? I mean you want to wait until we find something we both like or do you want… Like in the meantime moving in, here, with me?" Alex asked, a nervous tone audible in her voice. Yes, the woman wanted this, she wanted to life with Maggie. To have their own place! But she wanted to be sure that Maggie was 100% in with this!

"I would love to move here in the meantime. I want this Alex, I've dreamed about this! I want you, I want all of this! Maggie expressed, slowly moving her body on top of Alex's, peppering her neck with little wet kisses.

"I want you too." Alex breathed, feeling herself getting hotter by every second.

"Thank you for loving me." Maggie declared, her voice full of love.

"Always." Alex murmured against Maggie's lips, bringing both arm on Maggie's back, going under her shirt.

"Hmmm." Maggie moaned, bringing her hips in contact with Alex's, creating some lovely friction between them.

"Make love to me." Alex whispered against Maggie's lips, both women letting go of todays events. Instead getting lost in each other and the love between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews are always welcome! I love to hear from all of you!
> 
> Greets.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this new chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

Over the course of the next week Maggie moved all her belonging into Alex's apartment. Although the detective had been living in National City for a little over a year now, she had only a couple of boxes to move as well as her suitcase full of clothes. Maggie's apartment came fully furnished and she had never been the one to gather a lot of stuff. It had been something she was not private to since a young age, giving that when her father kicked her out she was only left with two bags with some cloths and her study books. And even when Maggie had her own room at her aunt's house, she never felt comfortable to collect a lot of personal stuff over the years. Once she started college and later on moving from one place to another, Maggie had learned to live with only the most essential stuff, clothes more specifically leather jackets, being the exception. That as well as her Bonsai trees, these were her sacred things. Alex had not brought up how little stuff Maggie really owned, instead making room in her closet for her girlfriend's clothes and room in her bookcase for the few books she owned.

"I like this." Alex said in a small voice, looking around her, now their apartment. Seeing it filled with Maggie's stuff, made her heart swell with love.

"Me too." Maggie smiled, resting her head on Alex's shoulder. The couple was currently sitting on the couch, having just finished dinner, watching the news and enjoying a quiet moment after work.

"Can I ask something of a more practical manner?" The detective asked, looking up at Alex for a brief moment.

"Sure babe."

"How are we going to, I mean… How much rent do I have to pay you and how are we going to like, pay the bills, our food and all that?" Maggie said, her voice a little uncertain.

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that to be honest." Alex answered, turning around a little so she was facing Maggie properly. "I think that maybe we can open a conjoint bank account to cover the food and bills? And as far as rent goes. This place is mine. I had the chance to buy this apartment when the pricing on houses were kind of low in National City. And I've been working since I was allowed to and when I turned 18, I received a lot of money from my dad's heritage and the DEO pays good. So, since a few months this place is mine. So, no rent to pay." Alex put into words, feeling self-aware about her having her own place at what would be considered a young age.

"You don't need to explain yourself. You've worked hard for this place babe, you should be proud of that. And I like the idea of having a shared account. We can both put a certain amount of money on it each month and what's left at the end of the month we can safe for… I don't know our dream house or to go on a holiday or something else." Maggie voiced, while stroking the back of Alex's hands.

"I like the sound of that." Alex spoke, a smile appearing on her lips.

"Me too. Okay, it may sound crazy, but do you think we should start looking for a house instead of a bigger apartment? I mean, I know our relationship is still young and all that, but I don't know. Just ignore me…" The detective babbled, feeling how her cheeks were heating up with each spoken word.

"No babe, I think we should keep our options open for both. If we find a house that we both like and that meet our needs than why not?" Alex answered, stroking Maggie's left cheek with the tips of her fingers.

"Yeah?"

"Yes honey, this is a good idea." Alex spoke, giving Maggie one of her biggest smiles.

"What's our budget you think? I mean, I've saved a lot of money over the years. Even when I've been renting different places over the years, I was able to put quite a lot of money aside every month." Maggie explained. The woman wanted to make sure that they were equals in this. She didn't want Alex to pay for their place or whatever.

"I don't know exactly Maggie. We should look into that in detail if you're comfortable with that. And it's not like we can't take out a loan for a house if we both want that. We're both working full time so that should not be a problem." The agent responded.

"You're right. Maybe we can look into all this during the weekend? Not like we should buy a place next week, but just so we know what our options are."

"Sound good to me. But another important question." Alex started, continuing when she saw Maggie's nod. "Would you go out to dinner with me next Saturday? You know, to celebrate our first year being a couple? I know it sounds silly, but I love you and I want to show you my love." The DEO agent declared, being it her turn to blush this time.

"It's not silly Alex, I would love to go out with you." Maggie said, her dimples full on display.

It was hard to believe that in less than two weeks Maggie and Alex would be together for a whole year. So many things had happened during that year. Maybe for the first time in their lives both women were completely content and happy, even when they still had some stuff to work through. Maggie had never felt like this, the safety of being around Alex and her family and friends. Since being kicked out at the age of 14, Maggie felt like she had a family who loved her and that was still a strange and overwhelming feeling. And slowly, over the course of the past two weeks, Maggie and her sister were slowly reconnecting through email. It was hard hearing more about Rosa's youth and her parents, but the detective could rely on Alex at any moment. And talking to her therapist had been helping as well.

"We're do you want to go?" Maggie asked, resting her hand on Alex's upper legs. The couple had moved around a little on the couch while talking, both sitting cross-legged now, facing each other.

"Hmmm, I want to surprise you." Alex voiced, a playful glint in her eyes. Over the weeks Maggie had been saying how she would love to try out the new French restaurant that opened a month ago. But places were spare as well as their time, but Alex had been able to get them a reservation thanks to her connections with Supergirl aka her sweet little sister who was a trooper of their relationship.

"Babe…" Maggie whined, despite the smile on her face. "I don't like surprises, you know that."

"I know but this will be good, so you just have to be patient." Alex smirked, kissing away the pouty look on Maggie's face.

"You're no fun." Maggie responded, tugging their bodies closer together.

"I am." Alex answered, placing her arms around Maggie's shoulders, kissing the top of her head tenderly.

"Maybe a little." Maggie whispered, resting the full weight of her upper body against Alex's.

"Just a little?" Alex asked in a playful voice, tickling Maggie's sides.

"Hmmm." Maggie murmured. Two could play this game, the detective thought. The woman knew all, or most of Alex's ticklish spots as well.

"Stop babe." Alex breathed, laughing out loud.

"Only if you stop." Maggie responded, continuing to tickle Alex's just above her hipbones.

Both women were lying on the couch at the moment, Maggie's body half on top of Alex's both breathing and laughing loudly.

"Okay truce?" Maggie said after a couple more minutes, making herself comfortable against Alex's side, one arm draped around her girlfriend's waist.

"Hmmm… I love hearing your laugh." Alex whispered in an honest voice, feeling how Maggie was trying to hide her face against her neck.

Alex knew these past few months had been hard on Maggie, even when she did her best to hide it. Her girlfriend was a strong person, always doing her best to do good for everyone, even when that meant putting herself last. Especially the past few weeks, Alex had not seen Maggie smile a whole lot even when things between them were really good. Although Alex could see that therapy had been helping Maggie, it also took a lot of energy, leaving Maggie more tired, emotionally and physically. The DEO agent just wished she could see this, this lighter side of her girlfriend more often.

"I mean it Mags." Alex said in a soft voice, silently urging Maggie to look at her.

"I love you…" Maggie whispered, her voice full of love.

"You too sweetheart." Alex expressed, embracing Maggie in a tight hug, feeling completely happy. Maggie loves her, they were living together and talking about buying their own place, their relationship was going strong… She had it all, despite not everything being perfect, but that was okay.

"I can't wait for us to have our own house, maybe a dog and one day some kids." Alex expressed after a long comfortable silence. The agent could feel the slow breaths of Maggie tickling the skin of her neck, feeling how relaxed she was. "Sorry if my words freak you out."

"You did not Danvers. I want all of that too… With you I mean. Even when sometimes it stills scares the shit out of me." Maggie answered honestly. Therapy had learned, or better was starting to make her see, that she deserved good things. That she not always has to fear that the bad stuff was going to follow her. What she has with Alex was solid, she could feel that. And Maggie wanted them to have a lifetime together, to have everything they ever dreamed about.

"It still scares the shit out of me too babe, but we're in this together." Alex responded, tugging Maggie's body up so they were face to face. The agent tenderly kissed Maggie on the nose.

"I know." Maggie signed contently, kissing the corner of Alex's mouth.

"I think we should get ready for game night, Winn doesn't like it when we're late." Maggie said, while snuggling a little closer into Alex's body, content where she was.

"Hmmm… Five more minutes." Alex voiced, not ready to leave the comfort of Maggie's body, warmth and love just yet.

"Perfect." Maggie breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and leaving behind these sweet reviews. As always, they are more than welcome.
> 
> Greets.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter and thank you all for reading this story!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

"Babe?" Maggie voiced, loud enough so Alex could hear her from the bathroom.

"Yea?" Alex responded, resting her body against the doorframe of the room, ogling her girlfriend's naked body without shame.

"Keep your eyes up here." The detective smirked, seeing but not caring that Alex was looking at her chest.

"But you're so beautiful." The agent expressed, giving Maggie her most brilliant smile.

"Thanks." Maggie answered in a small voice, feeling the depth of Alex her words. "You're not bad yourself."

"Hmmm very smooth Sawyer." Alex responded, seeing how Maggie was putting on some more effort in putting on her underwear, swaying her hips more than necessary when wiggling into her panties.

"You're gonna tell me why you called me or was it just so you have an audience." Alex smirked, pointing her eyes toward her girlfriend's hips.

"Don't say you don't like it."

"That's not the point babe."

"True. Okay back to business, my question is what should I wear?" Maggie asked, having no idea where Alex was taking her for dinner tonight.

"You should dress up." Alex said, a softness in her voice that made Maggie feel so loved.

"That's all I'm getting?" Maggie spoke, closing the distance between them, placing her hands on Alex's hips.

"Yups." Alex's witty response was, playfully nipping the side of Maggie's neck, her hands low on her girlfriend's back.

"You're no fun Danvers." Maggie answered, pressing their bodied closely together.

"Don't give me that look Mags, you will know in an hour." The agent responded softly, seeing the innocent look on her girlfriend's face. "You're done here? I would like to take a shower as well."

"Almost, but the shower is all yours babe." Maggie voiced before looking deep into Alex eyes. "I love you Alex Danvers."

"And I love you Maggie Sawyer." Alex said just as softly, catching Maggie's lips in a deep kiss, letting their tongues dance together for a moment.

"Hmmm sweetie, if we don't stop now, we're never gonna be on time." Alex breathed deeply against Maggie's lips. She could feel how her body was responding to Maggie's actions, something that they should definitely explore further later tonight.

"Hey, you're the one who started it." Maggie grinned.

"I know and I'm planning on finishing it as well tonight." Alex smirked, loosening her grip on Maggie's body.

"I hope so." The detective whispered, trying to get a grip on the raging hormones inside her body. Only a few words or touches from the other woman could make Maggie feel like a hormonal teenager, feeling horny as hell. Which in itself was not a bad thing, her attraction toward Alex goes for beyond only the physical attraction. But there were periods when work took up a lot of time, leaving them both a little sexual frustrated. So, after the few busy weeks Maggie had, she longed for some intimate time with the person she loves deeply.

Alex knew Maggie well enough to pick up on the longing for some intimacy. The agent herself could not deny that it sounded like something promising to make love after dinner. Even when sometimes intimacy made her feel too vulnerable, now was not such a time. Alex longed to worship her girlfriend's body, to find that exact position that made them both feel like they could touch the sky. But most of all she yearned to have Maggie in her arms, preferably naked, simply soaking in their love for one another.

"Me too honey." Alex responded tenderly, placing one last kiss on Maggie's cheek, before turning her attention to getting herself cleaned and dressed. Maggie made quick work of putting on some make-up, giving Alex some privacy in the bathroom.

Maggie, being not the one to own many dresses, more precisely two, opted to put on the black dress she had worn when Alex and she had gone to Sinclair's Alien Fight Club. Back then Maggie had seen the look of attraction or wonder in Alex's eyes, even when the agent had not yet voiced out loud that she was and is attracted to women. Maggie herself could not deny, even then, that she felt attracted to Alex, her being a strong, beautiful and independent woman. At times it still makes Alex feel sad that they had to go through that rough patch of feeling rejected and hurt, before they started a relationship. But Maggie also realised that that was all in the past now. They were in love and were creating a life together both of them didn't dare to dream about in the past.

Sometime later

"Danvers? How did you manage to get a reservation here?" Maggie asked, been taken away because of the restaurant Alex was taking her.

The couple had just arrived at their destination. Much to Maggie's surprise Alex had worn the same blue dress she wore as well during their time at the Alien Fight Club. Thinking along the same lines as Maggie without knowing. The shorter woman had whispered in a seducing voice how beautiful and hot Alex looked, stating that she couldn't wait for the moment she could take of the dress. Alex had stuttered, not knowing how to respond to Maggie's insinuations, all good off course. In the end the agent had voiced that she felt the same and that her girlfriend's dress would later find his way on the ground.

"Connections babe." Alex smirked, not giving away her secrets. "You approve?"

"Off course. I've been dying to get a change to try out the food here." The detective exclaimed, her dimples full on display, smiling widely.

"I know. I thought we could check it out together." Alex voiced tenderly, kissing her girlfriend cheek.

"You're perfect." Maggie expressed, looking directly into Alex's eyes.

"You... We deserve this. I love you Mags and I want to celebrate that." The agent voiced, a light blush appearing on her cheeks. Maggie always had the power to make Alex express what she was thinking, not shying away from showing her love for the shorter woman. They both had longed for the comfort of their relationship, even when they weren't aware of that for a very long time.

"I love you more." Maggie responded softly, closing the distance between their lips, kissing her girlfriend.

"We should go inside."

"Yea..." Maggie said, grabbing one of Alex's hands in hers, intertwining their fingers.

…

"This is amazing babe." Maggie hummed, enjoying the last few bites of her dessert.

"I love seeing you like this." Alex spoke just loud enough so Maggie could hear, a small smile forming on her lips.

"Like what?" Maggie questioned, a surprised look on her face.

"Happy and carefree." The agent spoke, her voice full of love.

"You getting soft on me Danvers?" Maggie remarked, knowing it was a well said sentence between them, always spoken with love.

"Only for you Mags." Alex smiled, taking her girlfriend's free hand in hers. "I can't belief it's already been a whole year." The DEO agent voiced, an emotion present that Maggie was not so familiar with.

"And this is just the start, we still got a lifetime of first babe." Maggie expressed in a soft voice, not wanting Alex to be sad due to missed opportunities.

The detective knew Alex still had a hard time sometimes dealing with coming out and finding her place when it came to relationships. The woman had thought for so long that intimacy was not something for her, despite having the wish to belong somewhere, to someone. For such a long time Alex had pushed these confusing feelings away, not wanting to deal with them. But the agent also realises that if she would have been brave enough she could have found love sooner. But maybe it was the universe's way of saying that she found the real her at that point in her life when she also met Maggie, like they were meant to be. Although Alex wasn't religious or anything like that, she did like that idea.

"I know. I can't wait to see what other first we will check of our list next." Alex responded in a dreamy voice, knowing she was one lucky woman to have found Maggie.

"Me neither." Maggie whispered. "Can we ask for the check? It's time for my surprise." The shorter woman continued, seeing the astonished look on Alex's face.

"What surprise? I thought this dinner was... You know, our way of celebration our first year together." Alex put into words.

"It is, and I absolutely loved it, the food and for most the company was amazing. But you arranged this babe, I want to give you something as well, for the both of us." Maggie answered, stroking the back of Alex's hand seeing she was a little overwhelmed.

"Oww, okay. I... I really had no idea you had something planned as well." Alex said, handing over her bank card before Maggie even had the chance to argue about splitting the bill in two or she paying for the food.

"Yea that's why it's called a surprise Danvers." Maggie started and once the couple had made their way outside of the restaurant embracing Alex in a tight hug. "Thank you for dinner honey."

"You're welcome babe." Alex said, kissing Maggie's temple tenderly.

"Is it okay if I drive now?" Maggie questioned when they made their way back to the car.

"Hmmm, sure. You're not gonna tell me where we're going I suppose?"

"I guess not, you've got to wait and see." Maggie smirked. "Payback is a bitch, isn't it?"

"Yea, shut up Sawyer." Alex answered playfully, nudging Maggie's side with her hip, fully knowing that her girlfriend was right.

The women drove in a comfortable silence for a little less than 30 minutes, Alex having no clue were Maggie was taking her.

"We're here babe." Maggie spoke, parking the car before existing the vehicle and going around to open Alex's side.

"You're a real gentlewoman." Alex smirked, grabbing Maggie's extended hand.

"Only for you babe."

"We are we Maggie?" Alex questioned. The woman recognised in which part just outside of the city they were, but she had no idea why they were here. It was not like there were many things to do here, aside from a few restaurants and bars.

"It's in here." Maggie voiced, leading the other woman inside a building, which Alex recognized once they were inside as the lobby of a small hotel.

"We're staying here?" Alex questioned, not yet fully onto Maggie's plan.

"We are babe. We are both free this weekend and I thought it would be nice to spend the night here. We can sleep in late, order in some breakfast in bed and simply relax. Away from the city for just one night.

"Maggie, this is amazing. But I don't have… Like have any clothes or toiletries with me." Alex said, not good at hiding her surprise.

"All taking care of, our bags are in the car. I just thought that maybe we could check in first, see our room and then go for a short walk before… You know, I get rid of your dress." Maggie answered, the last part whispered against Alex's ear, seeing the pink blush appear on her girlfriend's cheeks.

"You're crazy." The agent voiced, her voice full of awe and love.

"Crazy about you, definitely." Maggie beamed, kissing Alex's cheek swiftly, before grabbing her hand and leading her toward the check-in desk to get the key of their hotel room.

…

"This is amazing Maggie." Alex spoke once they entered the room. The couple was greeted by this big and soft looking king size bed. Furthermore, there was a luxurious bathroom, a gigantic bad and shower included and finally a small balcony where Alex was currently standing on, overlooking the part of the outer city.

"It is." Maggie responded, making her way toward Alex, hugging the woman from behind. Her arms going around Alex's waist, while she rested her head on her girlfriend shoulder. "You look so beautiful." The detective continued in a soft voice, her breath tickling Alex's neck.

Alex rested the weight of her upper body against Maggie, feeling how the shorter woman was supporting her. This, the whole evening, was just perfect. Alex thought after dinner they would head home, the intent clear that some lovemaking would follow. But this, staying the night with the woman she absolutely adores in such a wonderful room was even better. No one would disturb them, just a night completely for them!

"I love you so so deeply." Alex put into words, turning around in Maggie's arms, her eyes shimmering with what were hopefully happy tears.

"I love you just as much Alex." Maggie expressed, brushing away a lonely tear on her girlfriend's cheek. "Happy tears I hope?"

"Myea, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with love for you at the moment. So, these are definitely happy tears." Alex expressed, not wanting Maggie to think that she wasn't enjoying or loving this night out.

"Hmmmm okay." Maggie hummed, getting lost in Alex's eyes. "Should we go for that walk?"

"Yes, but not too long right? I kind of want to thank you properly for all of this." Alex declared, her facial expressing telling Maggie exactly what kind of thank you was waiting for her.

"Oh, I do want to thank you as well babe. So, let's say we make it a very quick walk around the neighbourhood?"

"Sound perfect." Alex voiced, lightly slapping Maggie on the butt, earning a free laugh from the other woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews are more than welcome! I love hearing your opinion and thoughts on this story. This lead me to the following question. I'm thinking about writing some more love scenes into this story, particularly Alex's and Maggie's first time making love. It that something you guys are interesting in? Please let me know. It would change the rating of this story, but if there is response/interest in it, that would not be a problem. Thank you!
> 
> Greets.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter and thank you all for reading this story!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

Previously

"Hmmmm okay." Maggie hummed, getting lost in Alex's eyes. "Should we go for that walk?"

"Yes, but not too long right? I kind of want to thank you properly for all of this." Alex declared, her facial expressing telling Maggie exactly what kind of thank you was waiting for her.

"Oh, I do want to thank you as well babe. So, let's say we make it a very quick walk around the neighbourhood?"

"Sound perfect." Alex voiced, lightly slapping Maggie on the butt, earning a free laugh from the other woman.

The present

That night the couple took their time reconnecting with one another, enjoying every minute it just being them. Alex was currently snuggled on top of Maggie, her head resting on her girlfriend's chest. The agent had learned that Maggie enjoyed the feeling of having her weight on her, something about making her feel safe. Both women were still breathing deeply, just having come down from their high.

"You're okay like this Mags?" Alex asked softly, checking in.

"Hmmm, I'm perfect." The detective responded, both arms going around Alex's back keeping her close.

Both women slowly drifted in and out of sleep, feeling perfectly content and loved. After a while Maggie woke up again, tenderly tracing random patterns on her girlfriend's back. She loved feeling Alex all relaxed like this, the woman carried way too much weight on her shoulders. The shorter woman was astonished by how Alex managed to handle everything to perfect, setting the bar so high for herself in everything that she did. It was one of the things that made Maggie feel attracted to Alex, but at the same time it was one of her girlfriend's flaws, if you could call it that. On some days the detective could see how tired and overworked Alex truly was, even when she kept denying it. They needed moments like this, where it was just them. Where work and other personal stuff did not interfere with them as a couple. Maggie realized that these past few weeks she had been leaning on Alex's support heavily as well, working through her own stuff bit by bit. The woman had been sending emails to her sister quite frequently these past weeks, slowly reconnecting and building a tentative relationship. On top of that therapy was taking a lot out of Maggie as well, even when she tried to hide it from Alex. But yea, they knew each other when enough to pick up on things like this. All in all, nights like this, were so so much appreciated by them both.

"That's tickling." Alex murmured, nuzzling her face against the top of Maggie's breast.

"Sorry, I thought you were asleep." Maggie said softly, brushing away some of Alex's hair from her face.

"It's nothing. I like this." The DEO agent whispered, enjoying Maggie's touches. "We should do this more often."

"Myea… You're right. I love you Alex Danvers." Maggie expressed, urging Alex a little higher up her body so they were face to face.

"I love you back Maggie Sawyer." Alex breathed against Maggie's lips, kissing her tenderly. The agent deepened the kiss, gently biting Maggie's lower lip before asking for entrance, brushing her tongue against her girlfriend's. Soft moans and rapid breathing could be heard, the women yet engorged in another round of lovemaking. Afterward they fell in a deep sleep, Maggie spooning Alex's body from behind.

The next morning

Alex woke up for the first time a little after 6pm, her body adapted to the early working hours. Maggie was still out, sleeping soundly. The agent could feel Maggie's breathing tickling her back, quickly being lulled back to sleep by her girlfriend steady rhythm. They had the whole weekend for themselves after all. Two hours later the agent could feel Maggie stirring, knowing she was slowly waking up.

"Morning babe." Maggie spoke quietly, her voice still thick from sleep. The shorter woman tenderly kissed Alex's bare shoulder, feeling a shudder running through her girlfriend's body.

"Morning." Alex answered, turning around in Maggie's arms. "You are so beautiful Maggie." The agent voiced, brushing some hair behind her lover's ear, kissing the corner of her mouth.

"You're silly." Maggie responded, feeling a little self-conscious. Alex could make her feel so loved with just a few words.

"Only telling the truth sweetheart."

"Thank you." Maggie whispered, hiding her face against Alex's neck.

"Thank you for this." The agent spoke softly, waving her fingers through Maggie's hair.

"Hmmm, we both needed it. And it's not everyday we get to celebrate our first year together. I wanted it to be special." Maggie expressed, looking up into Alex's eyes.

"And it was. It reminded me of you know… Our first time. It was different, but I don't know… Just ignore me." Alex whispered, feeling how her cheeks were heating up.

"Hey, hey. Nothing to be ashamed about Alex. That was a lovely night, the best." Maggie spoke softly, resting her forehead against her girlfriend's.

"Not really the best, I was so clumsy and nervous. I had hardly any idea what I was doing."

"That didn't matter, it was about us connecting that way for the first time. And you were, still are, so beautiful babe." The shorter woman expressed, looking straight into Alex's eyes. Maggie could see the dreamy look in her girlfriend's eyes, knowing the same look was reflecting in hers.

Start of the flashback

"Hey you." Maggie greeting her girlfriend, opening her front door fully so Alex could step inside.

"Hey yourself." Alex voiced. Once the door was closed, the agent embraced Maggie in a tight hug, feeling how some of her nerves slowly ebbed away. Over the past few weeks, the women had become more and more touchy with each other, exploring some newfound territory. Although Alex realized from early on that her relationship with Maggie was serious and that she may love the smaller woman, being intimate and all that came to not easily for her. For many years Alex had struggled with the fact that she wasn't built or at least thought to not been built for intimacy and relationships. But Maggie, oooh, she had shown her that that couldn't be further from the truth. The woman could lit Alex's body on fire with only the simplest and most innocent touches. Since the early start of their relationship the couple had agreed to take things slowly, Maggie sensing that Alex needed her time and space to get used to everything that came with their relationship. The same applied to the detective as well, she never had experienced anything like what they had as well. But it became harder and harder each time they were together to not let things go further than some intense making out. Alex and Maggie had talked about at what peace they wanted things to go and slowly it became clear that tonight may be the moment when they let things got further than some kissing and touching.

"I'm nervous." Alex breathed against Maggie's lips before kissing her softly on the mouth.

"There's no pressure babe. We won't do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?" Maggie put into words tenderly, stroking her girlfriend cheek while speaking.

"Hmmm. I want this, I want you Mags… Just slowly?" Alex expressed, looking into Maggie's eyes, seeing that she was not the only one being a bit nervous.

"Always." Maggie responded, nuzzling Alex's neck. "You're hungry? I've made us some dinner?" The detective asked.

"Hmmm, you're amazing. I am starving!" Alex answered, pecking her girlfriend's lips swiftly, before stepping out of Maggie's arms. The agent made quick work of her jacket and shoes, feeling comfortable at Maggie's place.

A lot of flirtation happened during dinner, each party making it clear what they longed to do later that night.

"You want to take a shower together?" Maggie questioned, wiggling her eyes suggestively. The last two, three weeks, the couple had shared a shower more than once, slowly getting to know each other naked body. It had never gone any further than some tender touches here and there, not letting their hands wander toward the more private area of their pubics, both feeling like they weren't ready to cross that boundary just yet. But this time Maggie had made the suggestion more as a way to let Alex relax a little and slow things down a bit. The detective wanted to make every little step as enjoyable and tender as possible, feeling the need to let Alex experience that being intimate was something she was build for. Something she could and was allowed to enjoy. And Maggie herself wanted to be as present as possible during this moment, loving and taken care of Alex the way she deserves to.

"Hmmm sounds like a great idea." Alex answered, seeing the tender look in her girlfriend's eyes. Alex loves being naked in the shower with Maggie, having a chance to look at her without interruption. Because let's face it, Maggie is such a beautiful woman. Beautiful even being an understatement. The woman was so soft, but at the same time so strong and muscly and Alex absolutely loves it. But even more she loves who Maggie is as a person, so caring and fierce, fighting for the people who couldn't do it themselves. The agent knew that regardless of what would happen tonight, it would be wonderful and soft and foremost with Maggie.

"Come here Danvers." Maggie spoke softly, extending her hand for Alex to take. The detective was currently standing next to her, a big smile on her face, deep dimples included. Alex willingly let her be puled up and into Maggie's arms, hugging her girlfriend back. The detective could make her feel so safe, which was a feeling Alex was still getting used to. The only person who up until now could make her feel like that was her younger sister Kara.

"I want to be naked with you." Maggie whispered against Alex's ear, feeling the shiver that ran through the taller woman's body. "I like having you all wet." She continued, seeing from the blush on Alex's cheeks that she was picking up on the double meaning behind her words. "But foremost, you're so beautiful Alex and I want to see you. I want to cherish you" The detective ended, kissing her girlfriend's lips lightly.

"Mags…" Alex breathed deeply, already feeling the effect Maggie was having on her body and they hadn't even done anything yet. "I want to see you too."

"Come on than my lady." Maggie smirked, taking Alex's hand in hers, leading them toward her bathroom.

"Can I take it off?" Alex asked between two kisses, tugging at Maggie's shirt.

"Sure babe." Maggie said, taking of Alex's shirt and bra next after asking for permission. The rest of their clothes came of as well, leaving them both naked and breathy hard.

"You're so pretty. Alex voiced, kissing Maggie's neck lightly, her hands moving toward her lover's lower back, squeezing her butt gently.

"Thanks." Maggie spoke softly, leading them inside the shower. The detective could feel how her body was humming all over, knowing she was in deep with Alex. She longed for this, she wanted it to be as perfect as possible.

The couple took their time showering, wasting too much water while getting lost in ach other. They touched each other tentatively, kissing each other lips, face and some other places. Very tenderly Maggie touches Alex's breasts, the taller woman returning the favor. Soft moans could be heard, both feeling how by each minute passing they were getting more and more worked up. After finally getting cleaned or at least being freshen up, Alex and Maggie made their way toward Maggie's bedroom. The shorter woman had tenderly draped a towel around her shoulders, kissing her cheek swiftly before leading them toward her room.

"You're okay Alex?" Maggie asked softly, laying almost completely on top of Alex, nipping her neck. In the process, both women had lost their towels somewhere on the ground, too busy with kissing and gently touching each other.

"I'm perfect, don't worry so much. You're perfect Sawyer and I will tell you if it's too much." Alex expressed, knowing and feeling how much Maggie was making sure they weren't rushing anything.

"Okay." The detective whispered, catching Alex's lips in a deep kiss, letting their tongues move together. At a slow pace Maggie started to kiss Alex's on other places as well, starting with her neck, fiercely nipping her pulse point once she could feel how intensely Alex was reacting to it. Gradually Maggie kissed the skin right above Alex's left nipple, before taking the hard but between her lips, sucking it gently. Alex could no longer hold back the loud moan from escaping her lips, realizing nobody had been able to make her feel like this. From time to time Maggie looked into Alex's eyes, wanting to make sure that the other woman was still feeling it.

"Ohh Mags." Alex breathed deeply, feeling how Maggie was moving toward her other breast, giving it the same attention. "This feels amazing."

Alex herself was no silent participant, her hands grabbing Maggie's backside. The detective had slowly lead one of Alex's legs between hers, feeling how her own wetness was leaving a trace on Alex's tight.

"Maggie, I can feel…" Alex started.

"Sorry Alex, you… Us."

"Hey, it's hot babe." Alex interrupted, not wanted Maggie to think that she thought it was something nasty or whatever. Ever so slowly the taller woman brought one hand between their bodies, bringing it between Maggie's upper tights, feeling some her lover's wetness that was resting there.

Even when Alex could feel the nerviness returning a little, she wanted to touch Maggie intimately, feeling from close-up how wet and bothered her girlfriend was. Laying naked together and feeling Maggie's lips on her breasts had made Alex feel so aroused, realizing that she so longed for this.

"Alex…" Maggie moaned, unconsciously pushing her hips toward Alex's hands, wanting more. "More please."

The detective had thought that she would be the one to give Alex pleasure, touch her down there first, but no once again Alex took Maggie by surprise by taking the lead. Which of course was more than fine, they were equal in this! Alex responded to Maggie's pleads by swiftly changing their positions, resting her body on top of the detective's.

"Very smooth Danvers." Maggie uttered, looking into the captating eyes of her lover. The shorter woman was greeted by a big grin, leaving her no time to process things, before Alex started peppering her face and neck with little kisses, all the while touching her breast tenderly. The agent took her time mapping Maggie's body with her lips and hands, leaving a breathless Maggie in her wake. Even so gently Alex kissed Maggie's nipple, sucking it lightly.

"Is this good Mags?" Alex questioned, look up at her, a flash of uncertainly visible on her face.

"Yea… I feel amazing." Maggie responded, realizing that all this was new for Alex and that she may needed some guidance. "I will let you know when I'm not into something honey."

"Okay…" Alex whispered, afterward directing her attention toward Maggie's other breast. The agent took her time cherishing Maggie's chest. Afterward she cuddles herself against Maggie's side, one of her legs between hers, feeling the heat enveloping them.

"You're okay?" Maggie questioned, turning her head so she could look at Alex properly.

"Hmmm, just taking a moment to catch my breath. You?"

"I'm good, more than good."

After a minute of comfortable silence, both women feeling how their bodies were still buzzing with some pleasant feelings, Alex started to tentatively trace Maggie's upper body with the tips of her fingers, going all the way from her neck, passing her collarbone, down between her breast to finally tickling her bellybutton.

"That tickles." Maggie laughed, kissing Alex's forehead tenderly.

"Hmmm." Alex hummed, slowly getting lower, waving her hand through to shorts hair on Maggie's pubic, before going lower to the outside of her tights, feeling some stickiness resting there.

"You don't have to Alex." Maggie spoke in a caring voice, wanting to make sure that Alex was not pushing herself to do this.

"I want to Maggie, can I?" Alex answered, looking up at Maggie, seeing the other woman nod.

"I don't know what I'm doing." Alex whispered a minute later, slowly with two fingers exploring the outer and inner labia of Maggie center.

"You're doing great Alex. Just take your time sweetheart, you will know when you hit a right spot. And know that it doesn't have to be perfect, I just want you…" Maggie put into words, gently stroking Alex's back. Even when Alex was not hitting that one spot that could make Maggie fall over the edge, it wasn't about that tonight. It was about sharing some tender and intimate moments, starting to get to know each other's bodies. This was making love, regarding of how other may not agree with that!

"Ohhh right there." Maggie moaned, feeling how Alex's fingers were grazing over her clitoris. "Can I touch you as well Alex?" The detective questioned, longing to return the favor, to touch each other at the same time.

Maggie could feel how Alex had tensed up just a little.

"Alex?"

"You can Maggie, I want you to. I just don't know if it will work, I've never come by someone else fingering me." Alex expressed in a soft voice, feeling how her cheeks were heating up.

"Hey." Maggie started, slowly guiding Alex's hands away from her vagina for a moment, silently urging the woman to face her properly. "This, weaving between their bodies, isn't about getting there or coming honey. I want to touch you, simply because it's a big turn on to even think about doing that. And I can feel the heat coming from you and I want to feel how wet you are. But only if you let me." The detective expressed, bringing Alex's forehead against hers.

"I want you to touch me so much." Alex breathed, feeling how she was getting a little overwhelmed. Maggie was saying all the perfect words to make her relax and forget about her past experiences. Sex had never been pleasant, more like something she did because she was supposed to like it. But this, the way she felt now, it was a lot and Maggie hadn't even touched her there yet. Seeing the tender look in Maggie's eyes, made Alex belief that she could trust her words.

"Hmmm… You're so so beautiful." Maggie breathed against Alex's lips, before kissing her. Slowly the women got lost in the many kisses they were sharing, Maggie feeling how Alex was relaxing again. Without any hurry the detective brought Alex's previous occupied hand yet again between her own legs, letting Alex know it was okay to touch her. After making sure the taller woman was okay, Maggie gradually brought her own hand between Alex's legs, being greeting by a lot of wetness.

"Yes…" Alex moaned, bringing their bodies a little closer together.

Maggie slowly went higher and higher, firstly stroking Alex's outer lips, before bringing two fingers even more closer toward where Alex wanted them. With a light tough Maggie caressed the skin just above Alex's clitoris, not knowing if the woman liked direct stimulation. Both women took their time getting familiar with each in that way. Both were moaning now and then, letting the other know when they hid a good spot. After a while they brought their hands back up, kissing each other hungerly. Alex lie herself completely on top of Maggie, moving their hips together, trying to find some sweet friction. After a while Maggie could feel how Alex was trying a little too hard.

"Alex?" Maggie started, only continuing when Alex looked at her. "It's okay honey, slow down a bit."

Immediately Maggie could see the uncertainly in Alex's eyes, the woman probably thinking she had done something wrong. "Hey, nothing's wrong. Just take it slowly honey." The detective spoke, once again switching positions carefully. Maggie tenderly kissed Alex's lips, nuzzling her nose playfully. "Sex can be good without an orgasm. I really enjoy this Alex."

"But I want to make you feel good…" Alex whispered, feeling how some tears were gathering in her eyes.

"Ohh you did honey, couldn't you tell." Maggie said, brushing away a fallen tear. "This was the first time us sharing this intimate act. You can't expect us to get everything right and know each other perfectly after one time. It would take all the fun out of it. This was perfect Alex, at least it was for me." Maggie expressed, feeling how she was exposing her own emotions, making her feel a little vulnerable.

"It was perfect. You really don't mind?" Alex responded, picking up on the slight hesitation in Maggie's voice, realizing that this was the first time for her as well.

"No Alex, we've got a lot of time to try this, to make love. We will reach that high when were ready for that, okay?"

"Yea, you're right. Sorry." Alex responded, hiding her face against Maggie's neck.

"Nothing to be sorry about sweetie. Come here." Maggie spoke, embracing Alex in a tight hug, feeling how the other woman was relaxing against her body.

"I loved doing this." Alex whispered, still being held in the hug. "I'm definitely a lesbian."

Maggie could not hold back a laugh when hearing Alex's words. "Welcome to this whole new world babe." Maggie smiled, seeing a smile reflecting on Alex's lips as well.

"I'm exhausted." Alex confessed, feeling how Maggie was making herself comfortable against her side, draping the covers over their cooling bodies.

"Me too." Maggie spoke quietly. "I need to pee but I'm too lazy." The detective reported, feeling like she may be sharing too much unnecessary information.

"Hmmm, me too. Thank you Maggie. I didn't know I could feel like this." Alex whispered, once again feeling herself getting teary.

"You deserve to be yourself Alex. You take all the time you need." Maggie expressed, stroking the skin of Alex's stomach softly.

"Thank you. This was amazing, but I also feel overwhelmed." The agent put into words, feeling how her tears were wetting her pillow.

"You're allowed to be overwhelmed." Maggie answered tentatively, pushing herself up so she could look into Alex's eyes, seeing she was crying. "You're okay honey." The detective spoke softly, kissing away the tears on Alex's cheeks. "I'm right here, it's okay."

"Thank you." Alex breathed, lost of any more words. She hugged Maggie once again close into her side, falling asleep while still silently crying.

End of the flashback

"Maybe we should practice a little more, you know… I've still got some learning to do." Alex smirked, placing herself on top of Maggie, kissing her deeply.

"Hmmm sounds like a great idea babe." Maggie responded, seeing the heated look in her girlfriend's eyes. This morning couldn't have started any better Maggie thought when she felt how Alex's was gently kissing her breasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was any good… Still new to writing some more intimate scenes. As always reviews/feedback are more than welcome.
> 
> Greets.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> A new, extra long chapter. Enjoy! Thank you for reading this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

"Maggie, you're here?" Alex voiced, entering their apartment. Not long ago the agent received a phone call from Maggie's work partner, telling her that the shorter woman had been injured when capturing a punk. The man was unable to give more information, giving that Maggie had been ordered to go see a doctor and to go home afterward. The fact that she was home, or at least that's what Alex hoped, made the woman a bit less anxious about her girlfriend's condition.

"Yea, I'm in the bathroom." Maggie answered, surprised that Alex was home at this hour. It was after all only a little after 3AM.

"Can I enter?" The DEO agent questioned, not knowing what Maggie was doing and wanting to respect her privacy.

"Just give me a minute, I will be right there."

"Hmmm okay." Alex responded, using that time to take of her jacket and trying to calm down her raging heart.

"Hey babe." Maggie said, making her appearance in the living room.

Alex could immediately spot the black eye and swelling that was forming on the left side of Maggie's face as well as the sling the woman was wearing around her left arm. The agent could see how the other woman was trying to hide her discomfort, a forced smile on her face.

"It looks worse than it is, don't worry. You should have seen the other guy." The detective expressed, trying to brush away Alex's concerned look.

"I don't care about the other guy, I care about you. And it definitely looks bad enough." Alex responded, closing the distance between them. She gently felled the area around Maggie's eye, seeing how the woman was trying to stay tough.

"It doesn't seem to be broken."

"It's not, the doctor ordered some x-rays to be sure. It's fine Alex. I'm fine." Maggie spoke, not liking when the attention was all on her, especially for something as small as just a few bruises.

"You don't look fine Mags. Did you hurt your shoulder or anything else?" Alex almost begged, wanting Maggie to be open and honest about her injuries.

"No, not my shoulder. The doctor said something about a small fracture in my collarbone, nothing serious. And there is a small scrape from where a bullet grazed my upper arm that needed some stiches and finally a couple of bruised ribs." Maggie put into words slowly, feeling like she wouldn't get away with only half of the story. "I just need some rest and then it will be all fine." The shorter woman added.

"It's a lot babe. I don't like it Maggie. I know it's something that comes with the job we do, but I was worried sick on my way here. Detective Jonson could only tell me that your boss ordered you to go see a doctor and go home. What if that bullet hit you somewhere more dangerously? I can't lose you Maggie." Alex declared, feeling herself getting emotional. She couldn't image her life without Maggie in it. It had taken her such a long time to find her amazing girlfriend and the thought that she could lose her any second... That was definitely not okay!

"You won't honey. I was wearing my vest and I had back up. This is just collateral damage, you know that. Come here, you won't get rid of me that easily Danvers." Maggie voiced, gently tugging Alex closer by her shirt, bringing their bodies as close together as her injured arm allowed them. "I want you to kiss me." The detective expressed, having the urge to feel her lover, to know that this/they were real.

"I really am okay Alex." Maggie whispered against Alex's lips, before the other woman closed the remaining distance between them, kissing the shorter woman softly.

"You really scared me sweetheart." Alex whispered, gently leading Maggie over to the couch. "Have you taken something for the pain? I can see that you're in pain." The agent spoke tenderly, brushing some hairs behind Maggie's ear.

"No not yet, the doctor gave me a prescription, but I didn't think I would need it. They gave me something in the hospital, but I think it is worked out by now." Maggie answered, feeling unsure and shy suddenly. Like Alex was gonna be mad because she didn't listen to the doctor...

"Hey, that's okay. Don't worry about it. I will go get them. Where is your prescription babe?" Alex voiced gently, seeing the uncertain look shining in Maggie's eyes, not sure why.

"You sure you don't mind, I can go. I just need a minute." Maggie said quickly, not wanted to be a bother in any way.

"I don't mind Mags. Let me take care of you please." Alex expressed softly, kissing the side of Maggie's head that wasn't bruised. "I love you."

"Me too... But Alex, don't you have to be at work?" Maggie asked, feeling more and more in pain and tired by each passing minute. Even when it sounded stupid and childish the detective didn't want to be alone right now. She was used to work through her pain and everything else on her own, so it was not that she couldn't do it alone. But Alex had softened her. Maggie had learned to rely on Alex, even when she still felt strongly about her own independency. And if she was being honest with herself, curling into Alex's lap and falling asleep like that sounded so good right now.

"No, I ask for the rest of the day off. J'onn let me go without any problem. I think he could sense my anxiety. You're not alone Mags." Alex put into words tenderly, stroking Maggie's cheek.

"Thank you." The detective spoke quietly, resting her head on Alex's shoulder for a second, before that position became too uncomfortable.

"I will go get you your medicine babe." Alex said, gently leading Maggie toward the bed, pulling the covers down and tucking her girlfriend in. Alex could see how Maggie was in pain, not liking that. The DEO agent had a wide range of medicines in the bathroom that would probably ease Maggie's pain, but Alex had read that her doctor had prescribed her some antibiotics as well. So, a trip to the pharmacy was necessary after all. Before leaving the apartment, Alex handed Maggie an ice-pack for her eye, giving her one last kiss.

"Hmmm, thanks." Maggie hummed, despite the pain she was feeling sleepy, the adrenalin from today's events wearing off.

Alex made quick work of going to the pharmacy. On her way home she stopped by one of Maggie's favorite shops, buying some snacks that the woman liked. It was the first time one of them got seriously injured since starting their relationship. Off course there had been a few minor incidents on both their sides, unfortunately. But the agent realized that this time it was more serious. Even when Maggie had told her exactly what her injuries were, Alex could see how the shorter woman was holding back on how she was truly feeling. The DEO agent had quickly learned and experienced just how many walls or better what a tick wall Maggie had build around herself. She was an easy-going person to be around, never asking anything from anyone while at the same time helping people she cared about. Even from the start they had a very easy and comfortable friendship, but it had taken Alex some time to figure out that her girlfriend was hiding a lot of pain from everyone. Even so slowly Maggie had realized that it was okay to let Alex inside, tentatively letting her wall down little by little. All this had really started since the agent had met Emily and when they had the whole 'you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth' conversation. In the company of their friends or Eliza, Maggie was still reserved, not liking when other people would see her as someone who's weak or vulnerable. Not that she was weak in any way! It was all a work in process for both women, because let face it Alex was not a lot better with letting people see who she really was.

Alex quietly entered the apartment again, hoping that Maggie was getting some rest. Sleeping was the best way to heal, that both women had learned the hard way over the years.

"Alex." Maggie murmured half asleep. Since Alex had left, Maggie had time to process what happened today. How bad things could have gone… The detective knew it was pointless to overthink such situations and in the past, she really didn't care. But now, being in a secure and loving relationship and feeling more like herself than ever, the shorter woman didn't want this (her life) to end.

"Hey honey." Alex voiced, making her way toward Maggie, her pills, some water and a snack in hand. "How are you feeling?" The woman asked, helping Maggie to sit up against the headboard.

"Not so great I think." Maggie whispered, curling herself into Alex's side without trying to hurt herself.

"I have your medication, here." Alex voiced, handing them over. "I also picked up some of the snacks you like."

"You didn't have to do that babe, I'm fine." Maggie answered, a shy smile appearing on her face. "But thank you." The shorter woman added, kissing Alex's cheek.

"You're my girlfriend Maggie, I want to take care of you and not because you can't handle it on your own, I know you can. But because I love you and I want to be here for you." Alex declared, seeing how Maggie's eyes where filling with tears.

"I want you here too." Maggie whispered, brushing away her tears before they could fall. "Even when that makes me some kind of weak person."

"It's not weak to want someone to be there for you Maggie, that's human. That's what other people do for the ones that they love honey." Alex responded fiercely, not agreeing with her girlfriend's logic even when she knew she would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

"It's been a long time since someone cared about me in that way and I guess it's a little overwhelming to be honest." Maggie spoke quietly.

Since being kicked out of her home at the age of 14 the shorter woman had learned to handle things on her own, to not let people show them what she was feeling. Her aunt was friendly but didn't really care about her well-being to the point of nursing and coddling her when she was feeling sick or when she had a bad day. And later with Emily, her first serious and long relationship, Maggie had tried to let the other woman in and be as open and honest as possible. But never had she reached that kind of trust she had developed with Alex over the past year. Which left her in a vulnerable position now and then, now being such a moment.

"You deserve someone taking care of you honey." Alex answered in a tender voice, seeing the mixing emotions written all over Maggie's face, before she looked down. The agent knew not to push the other woman right now, letting the 'feeling abandoned issue' rest for now.

"You're hungry? Have you eaten anything since this morning?" The DEO agent asked, being aware that you should at least eat something with taken medicine. The woman could see how Maggie was definitely not feeling like herself, she was fighting sleep but also in pain. Just feeling crappy all over.

"A bit I guess." Maggie responded, glad for a change of conversation.

"Hmmm, I can make us some pasta. Or just some sandwiches. Whatever you like."

"A sandwich sounds good."

"Okay, you stay right here. These painkillers should work soon." Alex replied.

Alex made quick work of some sandwiches, eating them together in bed. Afterward Alex urged Maggie to lay down and sleep a bit, hoping it would help with the pain. The shorter knocked of quickly after, Alex keeping a close eye on her girlfriend. She made herself comfortable next to Maggie on the bed, catching up on some reading. Later, close to 7PM, Maggie woke up again, softly moaning due to the painkillers wearing of. Alex made sure the shorter woman took some more medicines, before convincing her to take a bath knowing it would made her body feel more relax and hopefully help to ease some of the soreness. In a timid voice Maggie had asked if Alex would want to come in too, longing to be close together. Which of course Alex agreed on, stating that she would do whatever her girlfriend needed. Seeing Maggie's injuries and bruises from up close, made Alex once again realize that things had could ended very differently. The woman gently kissed each of the wounds, trying to kiss them better. Maggie had giving her a small smile, saying she was a bit crazy. The agent could see how the bruises on Maggie's ribs were already turning a dark shade of blue, her eye not doing any better. The couple stayed in bad for a long time and Alex could finally feel how slowly Maggie's muscles were starting to lose their tightness, feeling her relax in her arms. The painkillers clearly working as well. Afterward Alex redressed the bandage that was covering the bullet graze and applied some gel to Maggie's tender ribs. Making some simple pasta dish, serving as dinner, was next on the agent's list, wanting to put some more food into her girlfriend before she fell asleep again, the medicines making her feel droopy and sleepy. The shorter woman had at least the rest of the week and the next week of, even more if her injuries kept her from doing her job safety. Which was a good thing, knowing that healing process of bruised ribs took some time, as well as the little fracture in her had decided that she would stay home tomorrow as well, if J'onn was okay with it. The agent knew she could take some leave days, having more than enough overtime even when it was in very short notice.

After dinner Maggie had quickly fallen into a restless sleep, waking up a few times because of some pain and not been able to find a comfortable position because she had been forced to sleep on her back, not her favorite sleeping position. During the rest of the night Alex had made sure that her girlfriend took her painkillers on a tight schedule, not wanting her to be wearing of them completely.

The next morning

"Good morning sweetheart." Alex voiced softly, kissing the corner of Maggie's mouth.

The agent was already showered and dressed, currently standing next to Maggie's side of the bed. The shorter woman had been drifting in and out of sleep for the last hour, not feeling like getting up just yet. She felt awful, her body aching all over. Alex had made sure that she took her medicines at the right times, but still it was unavoidable to be in some kind of pain. All in all it was manageable, Maggie just didn't feel like getting out of bed.

"Hey yourself. You're leaving?" Maggie answered, not being aware that Alex was taking the day off.

"No, I'm staying here today." Alex declared, brushing some hairs away from Maggie's face, taking a seat on the bed.

"Why? I didn't know you had the day of?" Maggie questioned, tentatively pushing herself up and sitting against the headboard.

"I did not. But I don't want to leave you here alone." The woman started, only to be interrupted by Maggie.

"I'm not a child Alex, I can take care of myself. I don't need you to keep an eye on me. You should go to work." The shorter woman expressed fiercely, a sharp edge present in her voice.

Maggie knew she was reacting way too harsh and ungrateful, but she didn't want Alex to not go into work because of some… Don't know, kind of obligation to take care of her! She's an adult and perfectly able to deal with her own stuff.

"If that what you really want than I will. But Maggie, can you look at me?" Alex voiced softly, keeping her distance for now.

The detective refused to make eye-contact, knowing she had been overreacting. But at the same time Maggie really didn't liked it when Alex was hovering. Yes, she had injured herself but surely that wasn't something new. And Alex being an agent herself knew exactly the dangers that come along with their jobs. When injured, Maggie simply liked being on her, sleeping or lying in bed most of the time. The shorter woman realized that Alex deserved an honest answer and on top of that she didn't want to hurt her girlfriend's feelings even more than she probably already had. But looking into Alex's eyes and seeing her concerned look was not something Maggie needed or better wanted right now.

"I love you Alex, so much but you really don't have to take care of me. What you did yesterday, I really am grateful for that. But I just need to take it easy for the next couple of days and I will be good. You don't have to stay here for that." Maggie put into words gently, tentatively grabbing one of Alex's hands in hers.

Both women stayed silent, an uncomfortable air present between them. Alex let Maggie kept a hold of her hand, but she was having a lot of mixed feelings.

"I have a feeling that you're shutting me out Maggie. I know your injuries are not super serious, but I thought it would be nice to be together. And I know you're not a child anymore, you're a grown-up woman. But letting people who love you be there for you, that has nothing to do with age. I think it's best for me to go into work, because frankly I thought we were past this stage. I love you Maggie, so much but I hoped that by now you knew how highly I think about you. I mean, I know you're a very independent woman and that's something that I love about you. But it's okay to let people in as well. I'm gonna go now. Call me when something's up." Alex voiced, having made up her mind and leaving Maggie alone for now, needing her space as well.

Alex know enough, or at least she thought, about Maggie's past and the environment she had grew up in. The shorter woman had been reaching out more and seeing a therapist for a while now. The DEO agent understood that opening up and being vulnerable with other's takes time and that was more than okay. They both still had a lot of learning and growing to do, but Alex just wished that Maggie knew it was safe to be vulnerable with her. But her reaction was anything the woman had hoped for. Alex could see the moment Maggie realized she had overreacted, but still the agent felt the need for some space. They definitely needed to talk about what just happened, but maybe now was not the right moment. Because Alex didn't want to raise her voice or get angry with her girlfriend… Alex swiftly kissed Maggie on the forehead, making sure her medicine and some water on her bedside table before grabbing her own stuff and leaving the apartment.

Alex's pov

Once at the DEO, Alex locked herself up in her lab glad there wasn't an immediate treat to deal with. To be honest the woman felt like crying, just so she could let out all the different emotions going on inside her. Maggie's reaction had really hurt her somehow. It wasn't necessary because of the specific words the shorter woman had said, but more because Alex had thought their relationship was… She didn't know how to put it into words, like their relationship was better or stronger? The agent was aware that her reaction and her waking away without given Maggie a chance to say something had not been the best move as well. Everything felt overwhelming! Alex had been so worried after she received detective's Jonson phone call, telling her that Maggie had been hurt. And last night was the first time Alex had seen her girlfriend is so much physical pain. Her injuries were never life threatening, but still Alex did not like to see Maggie like that.

Alex knew they needed to talk seriously later, but the same time she longed to be in Maggie's arms and feel at peace with who they are apart and together. That not being a possibility, Alex opted to send Maggie a text.

Alex's text – 09.14AM

Hey… I know I left this morning without giving you the chance to answer… But can you please let me know if you're okay?

Love you Sawyer!

Maggie's text – 11.28AM

Sorry for the late reply, just woke up. My body is achy all over, but the pain is manageable. Thanks for your concern. Sorry for this morning, can we talk about it tonight?

Love you back Danvers!

Alex's text – 11.31AM

Yea we should and I'm sorry too. See you tonight?

Please take your medicine, don't want you to be in pain. x

Maggie's text – 11.35AM

I will, see you tonight. Be safe! x

Maggie's pov

Alex was right, of course she was. All her girlfriend did yesterday was make sure that she was comfortable and not in pain. The agent had been so sweet, without being closely by her side every second in a suffocation way. Maggie wasn't even feeling that bad physically, she had been through worse but emotionally that is a whole different story. Soon after Alex had left the apartment, the shorter woman had quietly cried herself to sleep feeling like she had really screwed up big time. They had promised each other to not just walk away and even when Alex had not just exited the apartment without any explanation is still stings. And Maggie knew she had done the same, more than once… Why couldn't she just accept her girlfriend's help, it all came from a good place. They love each other, but even so it was hard for Maggie to let Alex take care of her. Maggie was amandant about her independency, never giving other people too much 'power' to direct HER life. Alex had been the exception in some ways, weaving her way into the shorter woman's life and heart. Maggie wouldn't want it any other way, she loves Alex so deeply. The woman just wished her past wouldn't let her mess with her present and future, which of course was mostly in her own control. The whole situation was definitely something she and Alex would need to talk about in depth and Maggie felt it was something she wanted to discuss with her therapist as well. After her nap the woman had seen the text from Alex, making her feel a little better. They would be okay, hopefully…

The rest of Alex's workday was mostly spend doing some work in her lab, her co-workers picking up on her sour mood and leaving her alone most of the time. Kara had checked in a couple of times, knowing something was up with her sister, but the agent refused to talk about it. Alex herself was still not sure what she would come home to, but she hated how she was feeling right now. But it was sweet how Kara cared about her and her well-being, but at the same time respecting her privacy. The first few months of Maggie and her relationship it had been an exploration how to handle and take care of the relationship with her two most important persons in her life, them being Kara and Maggie. They for sure had been some struggles, but today Kara and Maggie had a good relationship. Both women had more in common than they first thought, both having gone through a traumatic experience at a young age.

Maggie was still and will always be a reserved person and there is nothing wrong with that, but her reaction this morning was still not sitting well with Alex.

A little after 6PM

When the DEO agent entered the apartment, Maggie was in the kitchen, busy doing some cooking on handed.

"Hey." Alex voiced softly, making her way toward Maggie after shedding her jacket and shoes. "Come here." The agent whispered, seeing how Maggie was trying really hard to keep herself from crying.

Alex could see how the shorter woman eyes looked a little red and puffy, like she had already been crying. Maggie stood rooted on the same space, feeling unsure about how to behave and address the issue. The agent could see the anxious look on her lover's face, even when Maggie was trying to stay cool and composed. It was Alex who in the end closed the space between them, hugging Maggie tentatively, being careful due to her injuries.

"Are you still angry?" Maggie asked quietly, afraid to hear Alex's answer. Could this be the moment where Alex was tired of her behavior, stating that it was the end of their relationship?

"I'm not angry Maggie." Alex expressed, cupping Maggie's face in her hands so she could look into her eyes. "I think I was this morning, just because… I love you Mags and you got hurt yesterday. And I know it wasn't that bad, but I just wanted to be there for you. I know you don't want to be coddled but I still thought you would accept my help. So yea, your words this morning did hurt me somewhat." The agent put into words gently, putting it all out.

"I know my reaction this morning was misplaced and too harsh. You didn't deserve that." Maggie started, stepping out of Alex's arms and making her way toward the living room. "And you're right, I don't like to be coddled. I don't want people to think that I'm weak or whatever and I'm so used to take care of myself."

"Letting people take care of you when you just got injured is not weak. We've been over that Maggie." Alex interrupted, feeling how the were having the same conversation over and over again.

"I know that Alex, but I just… Whatever." Maggie answered, feeling they were getting into an argument, rather than talking things out.

"It's not whatever Maggie, talk to me." Alex responded softly.

"I don't deserve people taking care of me. Never…"

"Why not?" Alex asked tentatively, seeing how Maggie was getting frustrated with herself.

"Just because."

"Come on Maggie, you have to give me more than that." Alex expressed, pushing the other woman into talking.

The women had been through this kind of conversation more than once, Alex always giving Maggie a way out when things became too overwhelmed. Thinking the shorter woman would talk when she was ready. But Alex didn't want this anymore, where they were having this conversation again and again without getting any further.

She could see that Maggie was in pain, but she kept refusing to talk about in depth. Therapy had helped, Maggie had opened up more and talked more freely, but she still kept so many things hidden.

"It's stupid." Maggie whispered, taking a seat on the couch, her uninjured arm going over her face.

"It's not." Alex responded, making her way over toward Maggie crouching in front of her and placing her hands on her girlfriend's knees. "It is not stupid Maggie. Whatever you're feeling is not stupid. I want you to talk to me. We've been over this and we keep getting stuck here, it's not healthy."

Despite her achy pain in her ribs, Maggie slowly dropped her head on Alex's shoulder, feeling how one of the agent's hands went on her back comforting her. Alex could hear the change in Maggie's breathing, knowing she was silently crying. The DEO agent gave Maggie all the time she needed to gather her thoughts and feelings, realizing this must not be easy.

"Dad… My father. When my sister or I got hurt when we were little, he and our mother… We just had to suck it up. He always used to say that crying was a sign of weakness. When I lived with my aunt, I've told you how things got bad for some time. Like I thought life wasn't worth it and back then when I felt pain. I don't know, it felt good. It made me forget everything else, even if it was just for a little while. It was something I've never talked about, but in my mind I still connect pain with what my father used to say and the feeling of comfort, which is totally messed up. I know that. When I got injured on the job in the past and when I was with Emily or just having some random fling, no one even cared. I wasn't being honest with them, just telling them I got some bruising or whatever when you could physically see something. And I know that's my fault, there's nothing wrong with being honest about your pain or discomfort. But I think it's just all messed up in my head. And then yesterday you were all sweet and caring and you really wanted me to be honest about my injuries and it just became too much this morning. Which is a lame excuse and doesn't make what I said this morning any better, but it's all messed up. I'm all messed up Alex and I don't want you to take care of that, of me." Maggie spoke, her voice muffed by Alex's shoulder.

"You're not messed up Maggie." Alex whispered, not knowing how to respond properly to what Maggie had just told her. "Can I ask something?"

"Hmmm, yes." Maggie murmured, realizing it may be better to get it all out now.

"Did you ever hurt yourself, because of the way pain makes you feel." Alex asked softly, feeling how Maggie was tensing up.

"I don't know. I mean not really intentionally, I think. I never cut myself or anything if that's what you're asking. But I never minded it when I got hurt when I was younger or on the job. I think I just try not to feel the pain or it's like I said, the pain provides me some comfort I think. It's a mix of both, but it's been better now than it was in the past." Maggie tries to explain, still unable to look into Alex her eyes. "Sorry…"

"Don't say sorry for how you're feeling, never Maggie." Alex started, kissing Maggie's temple tenderly. "Thank you for telling me. I don't really know what to say. I mean, it sucks how you feel about experiencing pain but me telling you that doesn't really help right?" The agent expressed, placing a hand under Maggie's chin, urging her to look at her. Alex lovingly nuzzling Maggie's nose with her, brushing away some on the wetness on her girlfriend's cheeks.

"Hmmm… Sorry for my reaction this morning. I should have accepted your help." Maggie voiced in a timid voice, tucking her face in the crook of Alex's neck this time, not feeling strong enough to keep eye-contact.

"Myea… I think it will continue to sting for a little while, but we're good."

"I understand. Do you want me to go?" Maggie voiced, her eyes pointing toward the direction of the front door, silently indicating that she could leave the apartment for a little while if Alex needed some time alone.

"No, I don't want to leave. Not at all." Alex responded, placing a hand on Maggie's uninjured cheek. "I am sorry as well. I shouldn't have walked away without giving you a chance to respond this morning." The agent put into words.

Alex made herself comfortable on the sofa, sitting sideways and inviting Maggie to sit in between her legs. The shorter woman was still sitting hunched over, a position that most likely hurt her ribs. Maggie longed to be in Alex's arms, even when she still felt guilty about her reaction this morning. But she also felt raw, her emotions running high. The detective had never shared how she felt about pain, but the fact that Alex was not angry was positive at least. Maggie let herself be enveloped in the gently hug Alex was offering, both of her arms gently around her waist. The agent let her head rest against Maggie's right (good) shoulder, breathing her in.

"I was pushing you away this morning, maybe not intentionally I think. But you leaving the apartment was not a bad thing. It's not like you just walked away. You're not the one who needs to apologize." Maggie told Alex, feeling safe in her girlfriend's arms.

"Myea, but still." Alex murmured, softly kissing the back of Maggie's neck.

"No." Maggie whispered, placing her own hands on tops of Alex's, intertwining their fingers.

"Mags?"

"Hmmm..."

"I think you should talk about how you feel about pain with your therapist. I feel like I lack a proper answer. Maybe she can help." Alex spoke tentatively, not wanting Maggie to think that what she was feeling was wrong. She simply wanted Maggie to receive the help she needed. "I am not telling you want to do, I just want you to feel good."

"I know and yea, I should tell her." Maggie answered, turning around in Alex's arms, sitting sideways. The shorter woman nestled herself with her good side against Alex, her right arm going around the other woman's waist, while resting her head on Alex's chest. "I still feel bad about this morning." The detective muttered.

Alex simple embraced Maggie a little closer, kissing the top of her head. The agent could feel how Maggie's breathing was slowing down and getting deeper, a tell sign that she was falling asleep. Alex let Maggie nap for a little while, enjoying the feeling of having her girlfriend in her arms even when they weren't sitting in the most comfortable position. Dinner could wait a little longer. The DEO agent felt so much better compared to this morning, she hated arguing with Maggie. But is was difficult to hear Maggie talk about her past and how it still affects her. Alex was completely unaware of her lover's relationship with pain, which sounded quite unhealthy, but who was Alex to judge that. I was not like she was the example of perfect mentally health. She knew their relationship was not all sunshine and rainbows and that was okay. They were both real and each heaving their own past, but they worked hard to become better as an individual and together. But unfortunately, they went through some 'bad' patches, like this morning, as well. Not a lot luckily and maybe in the end it was not that bad. In were during these moments that they were 100% honest with each other, even when it hurts. Alex hoped that Maggie would feel better soon physically as well as emotionally, because it sucks seeing Maggie in pain and all bruised. It made the agent heart ache…

Twenty minutes later Alex could feel Maggie slightly moving in her arms, slowly waking up. The agent tenderly waved her fingers through her girlfriend's long hair.

"Hmmm, feels good." Maggie whispered, her voice a little hoarse.

"You're cute." Alex voiced, placing a soft kiss on Maggie's forehead.

"I'm not. You're hungry? I should finish dinner." Maggie blabbered a slight blush on her cheeks, standing up at a slow pace, her body still feeling stiff and achy.

"Can I help?" Alex asked, the shorter woman could after all only use one arm.

"No, it's pretty much all done. It just some minced meat, some vegies and taco-shells."

"Sounds good babe, relax." Alex said, standing up as well. The woman could once again see an uncertain look in Maggie's eyes, guessing she still felt responsible for what happened.

Alex grabbed Maggie by the hand, before she could make her way to the kitchen, tugging her closer toward her. "Hey, are we okay?" The agent asked, gently squeezing Maggie's hand.

"I think we are. It's like you said, it will take some time. I'm just tired from the pain, the painkillers, emotions and stuff." The shorter woman voiced, giving Alex kind of a sad look.

"Myea that's understandable. I guess an early night in for you missy is our plan." Alex expressed in a playful but soft voice, seeing a small smile forming on Maggie's lips.

"Thank you for being you." Maggie whispered, longing to kiss Alex.

"I don't know if that's a compliment or not." Alex smiled, seeing Maggie looking at her lips.

"It is Danvers. Can I kiss you?" The detective asked sweetly.

"Yes please." Alex replied, letting Maggie set the pace.

The shorter woman tugged Alex a little closer, feeling how the woman's hand went around her waist automatically. The women look each in the eyes for a long time, both needing the reassurance that they were really okay. In the end, it was Maggie who slowly kissed the corner of Alex's mouth before kissing her fully on the lips letting Alex deepen the kiss.

"Hmmm, come on honey. Dinner, bath and bed for you." Alex spoke, pecking Maggie's nose tenderly.

For the first time that day, Maggie could feel herself smiling bridely, once again realizing how lucky she was to have found Alex.

"Together?"

"What?"

"You want to join me in during bath and bedtime?" Maggie asked in a small voice.

"Always." Alex replied, kissing Maggie once again on the lips.

Alex thought that it was pointless to stay annoyed or angry with Maggie, even when she definitely would need some time to completely process the last two days. She loves Maggie, that was something she didn't doubt, and they were still growing as a couple. But the agent could also see how affected Maggie was by the events. Her eyes looked puffy and void of their normal spark. Although the swelling of Maggie's left eye had come down a lot, her eye was now surrounded by a large dark bruise. She was currently just wearing some lose jogging pants and one of Alex's too large t-shirt, making her look even smaller than she really was. And the swing that was supporting her left arm as to put of some weight off from the fracture on her collarbone as well as to keep it in place, made Maggie seem even more vulnerable. The agent just hoped that her girlfriend's injuries would heal soon. But most of all Alex missed Maggie's smile, hating to see her girlfriend upset and sad.

"I love you." Maggie voiced, feeling so grateful to have someone like Alex in her life.

"I love you too sweetie." Alex responded tenderly, making their way toward the kitchen together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you all think about this chapter and the story in general! Your opinion matters to me.
> 
> Enjoy the rest of your week!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> I realized it's been a few weeks, you know life got in the way (bad excuse, I know). I hope you all enjoy this new chapter. Thank you for sticking with this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

It took Alex and Maggie a little more than three months and many house-visits before the couple found the most perfect place for them. They had kept all options open, going from bigger apartments, with walls and doors of course, to smaller and bigger houses. During one of their last visits both women fell in love with a beautiful house. It had been recently renovated and reflected a perfect combination of both their tastes. The house consists of three bedrooms, a smaller office, one beautiful bathroom with both a bath and shower, a wonderful open space with a well-equipped kitchen and living room, a big attic and foremost a garden. Some people would consider it a fairly small space, but Alex and Maggie had both been drawn to the place immediately, feeling like this was the house for them.

After too much paperwork and going over their finance the couple would be the proud owners of their first house together. Selling Alex's apartment had been easy, giving the location and perfect modern state of the place. The women had agreed on paying each half of the selling price. Alex had been able to directly transfer the money of her apartment into buying the house. Maggie on the other side, even when she had saved a lot of money over the years, had signed the papers to take on a small loan. The couple had talked about it in depth, Alex arguing that she could pay the rest of Maggie's part, stating that she didn't have to pay interest that way. But Maggie insisted on paying her own part her own way, stating that it was something she had worked for this since starting her job. Alex, getting to know more little bits and pieces about Maggie's past, understood and respected her wish.

All that being said, as of next Friday the couple would receive the key of their house, making them the proud owners. The women had decided to move all of their belongings into the house that same weekend, feeling like they could no longer wait to settle in and call the house their home. Apart from some smaller touches, like repainting some walls in colors that suited their style better and hanging up some different lights, the house could immediately be lived in.

"I'm so happy right now." Maggie spoke softly, hiding her face in the crook of Alex's neck while hugging the woman tightly.

"Me too." Alex smiled, hugging Maggie back just as tightly.

"I still can't believe that we have a house. It's ours, I mean I still have to pay for some of it, but…"

"I know what you mean babe. It's amazing." The agent intervened, cupping Maggie's face in her hands before kissing her tenderly. "I cannot wait to move in, decorate it…"

"Christen every single place." The shorter woman whispered, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows before gently nipping Alex's lower lip.

"Hmmm that too, yes please you wicked woman." Alex voiced, allowing Maggie to brush their tongues together. "Babe… We need to stop." The DEO-agent expressed, tentatively putting some distance between them, both breathing deeply.

"I know." Maggie responded in a hoarse voice, realizing that if they didn't stop now, they would for sure be too late at their work. "I want it to be weekend already." The woman continued, resting her forehead against Alex's.

"Yea me too. Just three more days. Three more days Mags." Alex declared, nuzzling their noses together, making Maggie smile broadly.

"Hmmm... Miss Danvers would you go out on a date with me tonight?" The shorter woman questioned, looking into her girlfriend's eyes, seeing them sparkle with joy. Honestly it was an idea that just spring into her mind, but Maggie really like this spontaneous side of herself when she was in Alex's company. Fuck with their early workhours and getting enough sleep, the detective loves spending time with her beautiful girlfriend Alex.

"Well Miss Sawyer, I don't really know. What are you offering to do?" Alex answered, catching up to Maggie's happy mood.

"I was thinking about a nice dinner out and maybe a walk around the neighborhood afterward, if we aren't to tired."

"Sounds kind of nice. Can we add a long cuddling session on the couch or bed to that afterward?" Alex spoke tenderly, her hands on Maggie's hips, giving her a tender smile.

"I think that can be arranged." Maggie responded playfully, placing a quick kiss on Alex's cheek. "You think you can make it at home by 6.30?"

"Yes, as long as there are no aliens on the loose." Alex spoke.

The DEO-agent was grateful for the understanding Maggie always shows toward her job. At first the shorter woman had her serious doubts about what the DEO did, but as months past and the NCPD and the DEO worked more closely together on some cases, Maggie began to understand and respect the working field. The same could be said about Alex herself. This past year she really began to appreciate the hard work the NCPD did. Both women had chosen a profession that didn't include regular working-hours, something that from time to time makes it hard to nourish their relationship, but they made it work. Alex as well as Maggie understood that sometimes work would come first and they had made peace with that..

"Then I hope there won't be any. I have many plans for us." Maggie voiced, looking tenderly at her.

"I can't wait." Alex replied, closing the distance between their bodies one last time kissing Maggie's lips. "We really need to leave for work." The woman whispered against the detective's lips, closing her eyes for a moment, simply enjoying the tenderness of the situation.

"I know. I see you tonight, love you Alex."

"I love you back Maggie." Alex spoke softly, before grabbing the last of their stuff and leaving the apartment together.

Later that night…

"Thank you for tonight honey." Alex whispered, nuzzling her face against the back of Maggie's neck, hugging the woman a little closer around the waist, pressing her front against the shorter woman's back. The were currently lying down on the couch, Maggie fulfilling wish Alex's wish.

"Hmmm, no need to thank me. I love you and I like spoiling you." Maggie expressed tenderly, resting one of her hand on top of Alex's.

The past few months Maggie had slowly been feeling like she was doing and feeling better. Talking with her therapist and Alex is still hard but the shorter woman realized, after getting injured and having a fall-out with Alex, that she needed to try harder. She didn't want to lose Alex, but if she kept shutting her out that was exactly where they were headed and that was something the detective wanted to avoid at all costs. Maggie would never be someone who talks freely and openly about her past, the good and the bad, but the detective knew that she needed to learn to trust Alex with everything. It was a slow process and it would take her, probably, a long time to let down her walls low enough to let the agent see her weaknesses and pains. But her therapist had helped her see that showing your vulnerabilities isn't something bad with the right person. And Alex was definitely the right person for Maggie.

Apart from that the shorter woman was still reconnecting with Rosa, her younger sister. Things had been going well and the sisters were thinking about meeting each other in person, something that made Maggie feel exited as well as scared. Rosa knew about the move and had suggested to meet up after the couple was settled in, to which Maggie had agreed. After the detective had informed Alex about the situation with her sister, her girlfriend had voiced how proud she was, something that had made Maggie feel self-conscious.

Maggie let herself be hugged by Alex, feeling completely safe in her lover's arms.

"And honestly lying here with you is not all that bad." The detective put into words, turning around so she was facing Alex.

"Not that bad hé." Alex mouthed, poking Maggie's side playfully, peppering her girlfriend's face with little wet kisses.

"Stop babe, you're disgusting." Maggie spoke, laughing out loud.

"Seriously Mags?" Alex questioned, a smile tugging at her lips. "I think we do far more disgusting things than me wetting your cheeks with some saliva." The agent smirked, liking Maggie's cheek just for good measures.

"Totally different babe." Maggie responded quickly, seeing the flirtatious look on Alex's face, knowing she was just messing with her. The agent was right of course, they had shared a lot more than some saliva.

"You think so? Because I don't hear you complain when I do this, licking Maggie's neck this time, a little more south." Alex expressed in a husk voice, feeling how a shiver ran through Maggie's body.

"You're not playing it fair Danvers. And what happened to my shy and sweet girlfriend?" Maggie questioned, feeling how she was getting worked up little by little.

"Well I would say, I've learned from the best and I was never shy." Alex witty response was.

"Yes you were and it was totally cute, you're cute. But very, very smooth Alex." The detective replied, kissing the smirk of Alex's face.

"Hmmm… Don't stop." Alex moaned, pulling Maggie on top of her.

"Oh, I'm not planning to stop any time soon."

"It's like you're reading my mind babe." Maggie whispered, enjoying the feeling of Alex placing little kisses all over her face and neck.

Both their hands roamed each other's bodies tentatively, loving how they were building toward something bigger, without rushing anything. Maggie loves how Alex had become more confident about her sexuality and taking the lead when it came to their love life more often. They were always equal, but the detective knew and had witnessed how unsure the other woman had felt at first, so afraid that she was indeed not build for intimacy. The couple had taken their time, only doing what they were both comfortable with. And it had benefit them both, the level of intimacy Alex and Maggie had reach was something neither of them had ever known.

…

"You really do know how to please a woman." Maggie breathed out, feeling how Alex was catching her breath as well.

"Hmmm… I try to do my best." Alex spoke softly. "And you're not so bad yourself." The DEO-agent added, resting her head on Maggie chest, feeling how their naked bodies were sticking together.

"So full of herself." Maggie snickered, waving her fingers through Alex's hair. "You're lucky that I love you."

"I know, so so lucky." Alex smiled, lifting her face up to look into her girlfriend's eyes. "And I love you too, so deeply."

"I know." Maggie spoke softly, a shy smile forming on her lips.

"We're in this together sweetheart." Alex put into words, realizing that despite everything going well between them, Maggie was still working through a lot of personal stuff. So hearing that she wasn't alone would be important to Alex, so the woman figured it might be important for the detective to hear those words as well.

"Thank you." The shorter woman replied, feeling how Alex placed a tender kiss right above Maggie's heart.

The couple snuggled on the couch for a bit longer, baking in the love between them before making themselves ready to go to bed. The couple immediately gravitated toward each other once in bed, Maggie spooning Alex this time. The shorter woman could feel how her girlfriend was already drifting to sleep, they had after all a long but very good day. And things would hopefully only get better, moving into their own house, taking the next step in their relationship!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews are more than welcome!
> 
> I still miss Maggie on the show, so sometimes that makes me lose my motivation to write. But I love reading other people stories about Sanvers, so I want to do the same. So that being said, more chapter will follow including some drama and of course a lot of love!
> 
> Greetz!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter, thank you all for reading.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

"Thank you for making my dreams come true." Alex expressed softly, hugging Maggie's waist from behind. "You are amazing."

"Right back at you." Maggie whispered, feeling herself getting choked up, many emotions flowing through her.

The detective let herself be enveloped in Alex's hug, being too overwhelmed to say much more. Being here, in her and Alex own house, with a woman she loves so deeply and makes her feel like she is worthy of being loved and cherished. It was everything she had never dared to dream about. The woman was still so afraid to lose it all, that one day Alex would wake up and realize that her past and just who she is as a person is too much to deal with. The detective had recently voiced this to her therapist, when talking about fears. Maggie realized that this fear of losing Alex was something that would probably always be present at some level, but she could and would try to not let it rule her life. But on huge moments like this, Maggie was feeling a little too vulnerable.

Alex could pick up on the uncertainty in Maggie's voice, being aware about her girlfriend's worries or at least on some level. The agent wishes that she could do more to ease these feelings Maggie experiences.

"You're okay honey?" Alex asked gently, resting her head against Maggie's neck, breathing her in.

"Hmmm, just taking it all in. It's a lot." Maggie replied in an uneven voice, squeezing one of Alex's hands that were embracing her stomach.

"Yea, it is but this isn't going anywhere. I am not going anywhere!" Alex put into words, softly kissing the skin behind Maggie's ear. "I love you, you know that right?"

"I do, and I love you too." The detective spoke softly, closing her eyes for a moment trying to breath the heaviness she was feeling away. This was a good thing, a great thing, so there was nothing to be anxious about.

"Come here babe." Alex said, feeling how tense Maggie's body was, guessing there was more on her girlfriend's mind than she was letting on. "Turn around Mags."

Maggie did as her girlfriend asked, turning around and letting herself be hugged by Alex. The detective placed her hands on Alex's hips, their foreheads resting against one another.

"What's on your mind Maggie?" Alex asked tentatively, brushing away some of Maggie's hairs behind her ear.

"Nothing bad… It's just, this is our house and you're here. I never thought I would ever have this, you… I'm happy, but so scared." Maggie said hesitantly, her eyes filling with tears.

"I know this is big, but it's us and I belief in us Maggie. So, I guess it's okay to be scared as long as we stick together right? This, we are not going anywhere." Alex responded, cupping Maggie's face in her hands, looking into her beautiful eyes. "You have me, always."

Maggie wanted to ask/say promise, but realized how pity that would sound, even when this was Alex, the person she felt the safest with. Instead the detective said:

"Ride or die Danvers."

"Always." Alex answered, kissing Maggie slowly on the lips, glad to finally feel how Maggie was starting to relax, at least a little.

The couple had been moving and unpacking boxes all day long. Kara had been a big help, moving all the big and heavy furniture. They still had a lot of things to do before they could really call it their home but both of them couldn't be more trilled. It was just now, a little after 6pm, that they finally had a quiet moment to themselves, which resulted in Maggie's reserved mood. Alex hoped that she was able to ease Maggie's mind a little bit.

"You want to order some take-out? Try out that beautiful, big bath of ours afterward?" Alex asked, brushing away a lonely tear on Maggie cheek.

"Hmmm sounds perfect Danvers." Maggie responded, giving Alex a tender and grateful smile, her dimples on display. "Thank you." The detective added, pecking Alex's lips softly before looking up the take-out places in the area.

…

An hour later Alex and Maggie were sitting down on the ground, food all around them, both enjoying their meal. Although Kara had already brought over their table and chairs, the couple felt like they couldn't miss out on the sitting-on-the-flour-eating-when-moving-experience, which may sound cheesy but who cares anyway.

"This is nice." Maggie spoke, a satisfied smile on her face.

"Hmmm yea. It will be so weird sleeping here tonight, don't you think?"

"I guess, but I will protect you babe. Always." The detective smirked, playfully poking Alex's side.

"And here I thought I was the badass in this relationship." Alex expressed, an equal teasing tone behind her words.

"You are a badass Danvers, but there's nothing wrong with me wanting to protect MY girlfriend." Maggie answered, stressing out the word 'my'.

"I guess I can't argue with that logic and I do love it when you call me your girlfriend." Alex answered, moving herself closer toward Maggie, practically sitting in the other woman's lap, legs around her girlfriend's waist. "Hmmm can I get a kiss from my girlfriend?" The DEO-agent asked, loving the lightness of the moment.

"I guess that can be arranged, but only if MY girlfriend would be so willing to dip our bodies into that big bath that's just calling our name?" Maggie replied, her arms going around Alex's waist without thinking, bringing her own face closer to Alex's.

"We can definitely do that." Alex voiced, closing the remaining distance, kissing the corner of Maggie's lips.

"Hmmm, I can say that I love kissing my girlfriend." Maggie uttered between kisses, seeing the tender look on Alex's face.

"There is more where that came from." Alex witty response was, kissing away the smirk on the shorter woman's face.

"Ooh I can't wait to explore more of that." The detective smiled, giving Alex's bum a light squeeze. "Bath time my lady?" Maggie asked.

"Take the lead." Alex answered, even when she was the one standing up first and extending her hand for Maggie to grab and pull herself up.

…

"You know this bathroom is one of the many reasons why I love this place so much." Maggie put into word tentatively. "I mean, I've never had a bath where I lived. We did back in Blue Springs, but yea… That was a long time ago." The detective added, feeling herself getting more self-conscious when talking about her old home.

"Can I ask something Mags?" Alex questioned, placing her hands on the shorter woman's tights, facing each other.

"Hmmm, yes." The detective answered a little hesitant, guessing Alex's question may be about her childhood.

"Do you miss your home?" The agent asked softly.

The woman was almost certain about Maggie's answer to that question. Alex knew some of cruel the fallout her girlfriend had with her parents, her father, and how much all of that had impacted her life. But Maggie had also told her that she did have some moments with her parents and sister she cherished deeply. The agent realized that the whole situation was anything but simply black or white.

Alex gave Maggie all the time she needed to gather her thoughts and answer her question, knowing how emotional it still makes the woman.

"I think I do at some level. Not so much the place I grew up in or the people there, apart from my sister, but more the feeling of belonging somewhere. It wasn't all that great in Blue Springs, but I had a place that I could call my home. Even after my aunt took me in or when I had my own place, I never felt that. I do now… Since the start of our relationship, even when we weren't living together and even when all these feelings still makes me feel so overwhelmed from time to time, I do feel like I'm home with you." Maggie put into words, her voice filled with a sad emotion, her gaze toward their joined hands not able to make eye-contact with Alex.

"I… I am grateful that you feel at home with me. I hope you know I do feel the same and that you have a family here. I realize that may not be the same, but I don't want you to feel like you don't belong because you do. I think you have no idea how many people's life you touch Mags and how much you matter. You past doesn't define you. You're a beautiful and good person and I don't just say that because you're my girlfriend. I might be a bit biased but that doesn't mean it's not true." Alex expressed, trying to get Maggie to look at her.

Alex could see the tears in her girlfriend's eyes, being aware that they were touching a hard subject. Today had been emotional enough, but at the same time it was important that they talked about this. Maggie had been working really hard in therapy and had been paying of but there were still lot of things the couple needed to talk about. And it was not just all on Maggie, Alex had her past and personal 'problems' as well.

"I… Thank you." Maggie whispered after some silence, knowing these words were not enough but it was all she was able to express at the moment.

"Hey, come closer babe." Alex spoke, tugging Maggie closer toward her, thankful the bath was big enough to allow her to do that. The agent tenderly kissed the side of Maggie head, feeling how the shorter woman was silently crying, trying to keep it together. "It's okay Mags, let it out honey." Alex spoke, knowing her girlfriend sometimes needed to hear that it was okay to express her feelings, let out some of her emotions.

"This is supposed to be a happy day." Maggie spoke silently, refusing to let any more tears fall.

"And it is." Alex interrupted. "But that doesn't mean you have to push down your feelings or that you can't express your thoughts. Okay?"

"Sorry." Maggie said, dropping her head on Alex's collarbone, her arms going around the woman's waist.

"Don't be Maggie, you did nothing wrong." Alex voiced, lovingly stroking Maggie's back. "Try to follow my breathing honey." The agent added when she could feel how uneven and quick her girlfriend's breathing had become. Alex could feel how the shorter woman was silently letting some of her tears run free.

"I'm okay." The detective whispered after a few minutes.

"I know you are." Alex spoke tenderly, framing Maggie's face in her hands, brushing away some of the wetness of her cheeks. "But it's also okay if you're not."

"Hmmm…" Maggie hummed, lifting her eyes up to look at Alex. "I love you Alex."

"And I love you Mags." Alex declared, kissing Maggie on the forehead softly, before hugging her again.

"Thank you for your kind words babe."

"I meant every word, you amaze me Maggie. How about we finish our bath, put on our most fluffy pj's, I will make some popcorn and then we can cuddle on the couch while watching some good old CSI?" Alex put into words, nuzzling her nose against Maggie's neck afterward earning a soft laugh from the shorter woman.

"I like that idea." Maggie answered, a soft smile framing her face. "We should really say thank you to Kara, without her we would most likely be sleeping on the ground."

"Yea… We could buy her all the potstickers she wants?" The DEO-agent suggested.

"I think that's a dangerous offer, your sister's appetite is enormous and we kind of just bought a house."

"Yea you're right." Alex spoke, looking amused by the idea. "We can invite her over for dinner and make sure there is enough food to make her feel fulfill for at least a few hours."

"I think that can be arranged." Maggie grinned, softly touching Alex's lips with the tips of her fingers, resting her hand over her girlfriend heart next.

"Hmmm you tease." Alex smirked, quickly kissing Maggie on the lips, feeling how the detective was smiling against her own lips.

"Says the beautiful woman who's kissing me when we're sitting naked in bath." Maggie chuckled, kissing away the smirk on Alex's face.

"Hé, I'm not the only one sitting here naked and it would be kind of weird to be clothed." Alex bright response was.

"Nerd."

"But at least I'm your nerd."

"Always." Maggie replied, a soft and dreamy smile etching her lips. "Thank you for making me happy Alex."

"You make me just as happy Maggie. Come one babe, the water is kind of getting cold." Alex expressed.

The couple made quick work of finishing getting clear and putting on their sleepwear. As promised Alex made some popcorn before curling up on the couch, Maggie snuggling closely into her side. The agent could see the somber look in her lover's eyes, hoping that some tender love would somehow help. The agent loves Maggie with all her heart and she wouldn't trade their relationship for anything, but if she was being honest sometimes is was difficult to see and know Maggie was dealing with a lot of personal stuff. Since meeting the shorter woman and at the beginning of their relationship all Alex had ever seen was Maggie happy and joyful side. The woman had such a lightness over her, but the agent had quickly learned that there was more to it, that Maggie wasn't just all rainbows and sunshine. And honestly that was okay, she rather wanted Maggie to be honest and open with her about what she was really feeling, than plastering a fake smile on her face. Since the detective started therapy she had slowly been more open about her feelings and thoughts but with that came moments, like right now, were the woman had a somber and sad demeanor over her. Alex hoped that Maggie knew how much she loves her and that she will support her no matter what!

"Sorry that my emotions are all over the place sometimes… Since going to therapy, it feels like I don't know what's with me half of the time. I'm so happy with where my life is and being here with you. It's everything I never knew I wanted… I think it's just because I've been talking about what happened a long time ago, it's sometimes hard to shut off these feelings and thoughts. I… I know I've not been the best company lately." Maggie put into words, turning around in Alex's arm so she could look her girlfriend in the eyes.

"You are the best company, no matter what. You're my person Maggie. I feel so proud of you with how you're dealing with everything. You've seen me cry more than once, and you never made me feel like I wasn't worthy. I want to do the same, I want to be there for you no matter what." Alex voiced, one arm going around Maggie's waist.

"You're the best Danvers." Maggie responded, snuggling a little closer toward Alex.

"I know." The agent snickered before getting serious again. "But seriously Mags, just be you. That's the person I love the most!"

"But only for you." Maggie whispered, realizing that Alex was indeed one of the only persons, maybe the only one she truly could be herself with.

"You're perfect." Alex spoke in an equally soft voice, pulling Maggie closer toward her, placing a tender kiss on top of her head.

"Na, you are." Maggie smiled, closing her eyes, letting herself be hugged by her lover.

To be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews are more than welcome!
> 
> Greets!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter! I suck at sticking to a plan on a regular basis, but since being back at uni I suck even more. That's a stupid excuse to say that I will continue with this story, but I can't say when I will post new content.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

It took the couple a few weeks before they could proudly say that their house finally felt like a home, their home. Even when the house didn't need much redoing, just a few rooms to be repainted in colors the women like, they needed to bring together both their furniture into one complete style. During their work-free weekends, Alex and Maggie went shopping for some smaller things they needed, giving the women some extra bonding time, which they both love.

During all these weeks, Maggie was still going to therapy once every two weeks, something Alex was really proud of. The DEO-agent could see the changes in her girlfriend, her eyes shining a little more brightly, a big smile and these adorable dimples more present these days. Slowly but surely the shorter woman was opening up, not only toward Alex but also toward their friends, Winn in particular. Both of them had know an unfortunate childhood, each having their own trauma to deal with. They also shared the love of gaming and quickly the duo realized it was a good way to build a more profound friendship. Alex loves to see them together, feeling very protective toward them both. As time went by Alex learned more about Maggie's past, the hurt she had been through and still goes through now and then. Literally being kicked out of her childhood home, but also the emotional and from time to time the physical abuse she had endured on the hands of her father had marked Maggie's life deeply. For a very long time the shorter woman had been too afraid to let someone love her and love them back the way they both deserve. So, Alex couldn't feel more privilege to have been granted access to Maggie's big and tender heart and beautiful mind. They match in so many ways notwithstanding their own personal attributes and characteristics the women brought into their relationship. Both had seen the other when they had been happy, sad, angry… and Alex realized how lucky she truly is to have met Maggie, to be her girlfriend and to love her every day.

Over the course of the past month Alex had been thinking more and more about asking Maggie to marry her. Since a very young age, the agent had always dreamed about getting married someday. She may act all tough and work in a very tough job, she still held that feeling of belonging to someone for hopefully the rest of her life very closely to her. And Alex couldn't image marrying someone other than Maggie. She could picture a very happy and rich life for them, even when Alex was very aware that they may face some harder moments. She believes that they could work through them together and come out even stronger as a couple. Despite the women already having talked about the possibility of somewhere along the way bringing children into this world or adopting them, they never addressed the possibility of getting married. During one of Eliza's, Alex's mother, last visits, the older woman had gifted her own engagement ring to Alex together with the words that she had never seen her daughter so happy since being with Maggie and that she should do something about that. At first Alex had been a bit overwhelmed with the thought of proposing to Maggie, but since moving into their house it was all she could think about. The DEO-agent wants the proposal to be something special, go all out, because that was what Maggie deserves. That's what they both deserve! If Alex could dream big, then she wanted to go a weekend away to Midvale. It was the place she grew up in and held many good memories from when she was just a child and everyone, her parents and Kara included, were all still happy and carefree. But it was also the place where Maggie and she had made new memories, the place where the agent had first introduced Maggie to surfing and so much more. The couple had laughed their asses during that moment because of the detective's inability to stand on the surfboard for more than a few seconds if she was lucky and her somewhat fear for foreign things living or floating in the water was making everything even more funny. Later that same day, they had made love in Alex's childhood room well deep into the night, both hoping that Eliza was a deep sleeper. It was the place were Maggie had snuggled just a little closer into Alex's body, whispered how much she loves her, how grateful she felt for being here in her girlfriend's childhood home and how amazing it felt to be accepted by Alex's mother, family and friends.

Because of the move not that long ago, both women had cashed in a lot of their overtime resulting in having still most of their holidays to take up. The DEO-agent knew how Maggie's boss respected her and her work, so getting some time of for her girlfriend would most likely not give any trouble. J'onn on his end was all to happy that Alex was finally taking up some of her holidays, instead of working non-stop. He could see the love radiating from his agent, as well as a tender look appearing on her face every time Maggie stepped into the same room. The man could only hope that they would make it for a very very long time.

At the moment the weather was still a little cold in Midvale, hence why Alex was planning them a little gate-away in a few weeks' time. A romantic picnic on the beach sounded kind of perfect to the woman, the place where she would ask Maggie to marry her. Everything would simply become perfect if Maggie said 'yes'.

Present – game night with the friends

"This is so unfair you guys. You can read each other perfectly…" Winn groaned, just having lost the second game of Time's up! Alex and Maggie winning once again.

The group of friends had come together for their every two weeks game night. They had split up in team of two, Alex and Maggie, Kara and Lena and finally Winn and James. J'onn had excused himself, stating that he would spend some time with M'gann. Each of them was super competitive, making a simple game a battle to win. After winning again, Alex and Maggie relented and accepted to mix up the team, much to Winn's delight. The younger man was a brother to everyone, the sometimes annoying but loving buddy of their group. Maggie quickly decided to join Winn and forming a team, earning herself a big smile from the man.

"Thanks detective Sawyer." Winn said, bumping his shoulder against Maggie's.

"Whatever." Maggie smiled, not minding it at all to be teamed up with Winn.

For sure she loves being in a team with Alex, they did make a great pair, but she likes every single person in this room, considering them all her friends. And if she was being honest with herself, the detective knew Winn held a special space in her heart. The two had formed a tight connection over the past few months, each feeling more and more comfortable to share some of the pain they experienced as a child/adolescent. The shorter woman cherished her friendship with Winn every single day, even when most of the time they just bickered around when in company of the others.

The next game came to an end with Maggie and Winn, as well as Alex and Kara ending up winning the round. Slowly things came to an end, Lena leaving the night as first. The others agreed on watching a movie before breaking things up. Alex ended up cuddling up in between her girlfriend and her sister, the men occupying the other couch. The agent felt how slowly Maggie was drifting in and out of sleep, having worked long hours this week. Tentatively Alex brushed away some hairs from her girlfriend's face, softly whispering that it was time for them to leave. Luckily Maggie had the late shift tomorrow, allowing her to sleep in a bit longer. When there were no aliens on the lose to deal with, Alex was home every weekend. Of course, work intervened a lot with her supposed work-free weekends, but she loves her job too much to be really bothered by it. But combining both their sometimes crazy workhours, finding time to spend a whole day, let alone a whole weekend together was a rarity for the couple. Alex and Maggie had talked about that on more than one occasion and together they quickly agreed that they would talk openly about the issue, when one of the parties felt like they needed to spend more time together. Their relationship was more important than the job they both love dearly.

"I will drive." Alex said in a quiet voice, leading her girlfriend toward the car.

Maggie had truly enjoined herself tonight, but she couldn't wait to lie down in bed and close her eyes. If everything went well she needed to work tomorrow, Saturday, but was free on Sunday. The longing to sleep in and cuddle with Alex was very present, so the detective wished it was already Saturday after work. The shorter woman also wanted to discuss some things with her girlfriend. Since she first reached out up until now Maggie and her sister, Rosa, had grown very close together. They would keep in close contact through email and even Skype on almost a daily basis. The detective had been dreaming about meeting her sister and the opportunity was really present. In a couple of weeks, Rosa was traveling to National city. Her boss had assigned her a new case that required her to meet with a client in the city. When her sister had told Maggie this, the detective had been so ecstatic, quickly suggesting that maybe they could meet, if her sister's work would allow her to do that and if she wanted that of course. Rosa had immediately agreed to Maggie's idea, feeling nervous as well as overjoyed that they would meet. Because of work, but also because Maggie needed some time to process what most likely would happen, the woman hadn't told anything to Alex just yet. The detective was aware that Alex was allowed to know things like this, but Maggie hoped the agent would understand why she needed some time to herself. This upcoming Sunday Maggie was planning on explaining to whole situation, hoping her girlfriend would be happy for her.

On the way home Maggie thoughts were again invaded by the trill of meeting her sister, a person she had always felt so protective about. It seems like Rosa had grown up into a wonderful and smart person. During one of their Skype-conversations her sister had narrated that she wasn't in close contact with their parents anymore. Rosa had been a bit too young to fully grasp what her parents had done to Maggie back then, but as years past by the woman had realized just how emotional abusive they could be. Rosa still loves her parents but was aware that they weren't be the best parents one could wish for. Since a couple of years Rosa would hear from them maybe once a month and she would visit them a handful of times every year. The younger woman had built her own life, together with a man who she loves deeply. When Maggie had voiced that she was in a relationship with a woman, the only thing her sister had asked was if she (Alex) was making her happy, which Maggie had wholeheartedly answered that yes Alex definitely makes her happy!

"Babe?" Alex asked again, seeing the far-off look in her girlfriend's eyes.

"Hmmm, sorry. What did you say?" Maggie said gently, turning her gaze toward Alex.

"I asked if you are still home this Sunday?" The agent replied, giving Maggie's tight a gently squeeze.

"I should be."

"Great, you think we could invite Kara over for dinner? We still haven't thanked her properly for helping us with the move." Alex put into words, parking the car in front of their home, direction her attention fully toward Maggie.

"Yeah, sounds like a great idea. We could go to the store tomorrow before I have to leave for work?"

"You're up for that Mags? I know you're tired and you do have to work the late shift." Alex replied, while exiting the car, Maggie doing the same.

Alex and Maggie entered their home, losing their shoes and jackets near the front door.

"No, it's fine. Kara helped us a lot, it's the least we can do. But I don't know, could we do lunch instead? That way we still have the afternoon for ourselves." Maggie expressed, following Alex up the stairs toward their bedroom.

"Of course we can do lunch. As long as Kara can eat food, the time does not matter." The DEO-agent responded, a soft smile playing on her lips. "And foremost, I love spending time with you, so we can definitely do lunch." Alex added, making her way toward Maggie who was currently changing out of her clothes and into her sleepwear.

"Perfect." Maggie smiled, turning her body so she was facing her girlfriend. "You're perfect." The shorter woman whispered, catching Alex's lips in a soft kiss, her arms going around Alex's waist.

"I love you." Alex murmured against Maggie's lips, tugging the woman a little closer.

"I love you too." Maggie spoke, her voice lanced with a heavy emotion.

The detective was tired and that was making her feel more emotional, in this case making her feel even more grateful to be here, in their home, together with Alex.

"You're okay sweetheart?" Alex asked tentatively, seeing the glassy look in her girlfriend's eyes.

"I am, just tired, but happy to be here with you Danvers." Maggie responded, resting her forehead against Alex's.

"Hmmm, same here honey. You can sleep in tomorrow…" The DEO-agent voiced, bringing her arms around Maggie's neck, kissing the side of her head.

"Sounds great, you too?"

"Me? What?" Alex questioned.

"Are you gonna sleep in as well?" Maggie asked in a soft voice, hiding her face in the crook of Alex's neck, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden.

Maggie knew Alex was not so much of a long sleeper. The woman could function well with only a few hours of sleep every night. Maggie was totally the opposite, always opting to sleep as long as possible. And waking up and drifting to sleep together had quickly become one of the detective's favorite things, something that did not happen all the time giving their jobs.

"You want me to Mags?" Alex questioned, stroking the back of Maggie's neck, feeling how Maggie's bodyweight was almost completely resting against hers.

"Hmmm yeah… It's not often that we get to do that." The detective whispered, placing a small kiss on Alex neck, before kissing her lips.

"That is true." The DEO-agent smiled, placing her hands on Maggie's cheeks so she could look into her eyes. "And I love waking up next to you, having some time to cuddle and maybe a bit more."

"So that's a yes?" Maggie asked, a soft smile playing around her lips.

"Definitely." Alex said. "Come on we should finish getting ready for bed and maybe we can already have a little cuddle?"

"Yes." Maggie grinned, followed by a big yawn.

"And you surely need some sleep." The agent voiced, following Maggie toward the bathroom.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews, tips, … are always more than welcome and very much appreciated. Enjoy your weekend!
> 
> Greets


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei hei!
> 
> Enjoy this new chapter! Thank you for sticking to this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters.

Maggie entered their house well deep into the night, work keeping her team at work longer than usual. Luckily the team had been able to close the case they had been working on, leaving them free on Sunday, today actually. Completely tired the detective made her way upstairs, being as quiet as possible, totally ready and needy to crawl into bed with Alex. After making quick work of getting herself ready for bed, Maggie made herself comfortable on her side in the bed, sighing deeply. The woman slowly rolled onto her side, facing her sleeping girlfriend.

"Night Alex, I love you." Maggie whispered, dropping a light kiss on Alex's temple before resting on her back.

"Hmmm." Alex murmured, waking up a little.

"Ssshhh, go back to sleep honey." The detective voice quietly, seeing and feeling how Alex turned around and snuggled herself close to her, the agent's arm going around her stomach.

Soon after Maggie could hear Alex's deep breading again, knowing she was back asleep. The woman followed soon after, feeling completely worn out after a week full of work.

The next morning

A little after 7am Alex woke up, her head resting on Maggie's chest, their legs intertwined. The agent was glad to see that her girlfriend was still deep asleep, snoring softly. If she remembered correctly Maggie came home a little after 1am this morning, so she could definitely do with some more sleep. Tentatively Alex moved some of her weight of Maggie's body, still resting her head where Maggie's heart was situated, feeling safe by the sound of her girlfriend's heartbeat. Alex had promised to stay in bed and cuddle with Maggie until she was ready to get up, so there was no shame in getting some more sleep herself even if she felt refreshed enough.

Two hours passed before Maggie even started to wake up slowly, drifting in and out of sleep for the next hour. Alex had enjoyed a good 40minutes of more sleep before she found herself entranced by the beauty of her sleeping girlfriend. Maggie was a very good-looking woman no matter what, but when she was asleep her face was free of worry, making her appear even more beautiful and youthful. Alex wished she could take away some of the torment the shorter woman took up upon herself. They both had a stressful job but between them two, Maggie was definitely the one who had a harder time letting go of things. The detective did a good job at hiding it for most people, but Alex was not one for them. Slowly but surely a lot of Maggie's well build up walls were coming down when it was just the two of them, the shorter woman letting Alex knew more often what she was thinking or feeling these days.

"I can feel your eyes on me." Maggie mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep.

"You're just so beautiful." Alex voiced, a tender expression on her face.

"Very smooth Danvers. You're not so bad yourself." Maggie responded warmly, her arms going around Alex's waist, kissing the top of Alex's head. "Good morning by the way."

"Hmmm, good morning. You slept okay? You came home very late, no?" Alex questioned, pushing herself a little up a little, so she was face to face with Maggie.

"Yea, we had a pretty tough case. The captive wanted us to close it, if possible. That's why I was later than normal. Did Kara came over last night or did you enjoy some alone time?" Maggie questioned, her fingers carefully tracing Alex's collarbone.

"Kara was here, we watched one of her too romantic movies. She's looking forward to lunch later today." The DEO-agent replied, looking into Maggie's soft eyes.

Alex could see that Maggie was looking more awake and well-rested than she did this past week. The woman was glad her sister was coming to eat lunch with them, but she could do with some alone-time with Maggie as well. She wished they could just watch a movie in bed or talk a bit longer, but unfortunately they needed to get up in the next half hour if they wanted to both take a shower and prepare the food for lunch. But maybe she could suggest taking a shower together, surely Maggie wouldn't mind being naked and wet.

"Yeah, food… I don't think there's something else that you sister loves more." Maggie expressed, a playful smile on her lips.

"I know." Alex said, kissing the corner of Maggie's mouth. "We should get up." The woman added in a much quieter voice.

"Noooo…" Maggie whined, snuggling her face in the crook of Alex's neck, her arms embracing the woman in almost suffocating hug. "You promised me a cuddle."

"I know, and we can cuddle a bit, but Kara will be here around 12am. If you want we can shower together?" Alex put into words, wiggling out of Maggie's tight hug, kissing away the pout on her girlfriend's lips.

"Hmmm, okay." The detective spoke, resting their foreheads together and feeling how Alex was lightly stroking her back bringing her some comfort.

"Hey." Alex started, placing her hands on Maggie's cheeks, looking into her eyes. "Once Kara leave we can cuddle on the couch and be lazy for the rest of the day. How about that?"

Alex was aware of Maggie's need for some quiet time with just the two of them. The shorter woman was still not that good at voicing out her longings, but her actions could sometimes be louder than words and if Alex was being honest she could do with some long cuddles with her girlfriend as well. They may sleep in the same bed most nights, only work keeping them apart from time to time, but during these moments both women fell asleep quickly, their work taking a lot of energy of them. Early in their relationship Alex had discovered that Maggie likes cuddles and simply sharing some real intimate moments. She may not have been very good at expressing her feeling right away, but Alex had felt cherished and loved since day one.

"I like the sound of that." The detective whispered, resting her head on Alex's chest. "Sorry that I sound so needy and pathetic."

"Don't ever say sorry for needing some time together Mags. I love you and I like being close to you, always." Alex responded softly, kissing Maggie's temple a few times.

Alex could feel her lover's body relaxing against hers, happy to have Maggie right here in her arms. The detective had no idea just how precious she is and how safe she made Alex feel. They made a great pair, that the both of them knew!

"I love your cuddles." Maggie spoke softly after a while, her voice full of love.

"Me too." Alex breathed. "Ready for that shower?"

"If we really have to." Maggie smiled, knowing they still had all afternoon for more hugs, but it was always fun to pester the agent a little.

"If you're really good, I will even wash your hair and maybe your body." Alex put into words, tickling Maggie's sides.

"You tease." Maggie beamed, wiggling away from her lover's fingers, laughing out loud. "You know I will get you back." The shorter woman expressed after a minute of catching her breath, bringing their bodies closely together, laying side by side while facing each other.

"Whatever babe." Alex beamed, peppering little kisses all over Maggie's face.

"Come on, time to get up you lazy ass." Maggie expressed, pulling away she sheets from their bodies.

"Says the woman who slept till ten this morning." Alex retorted, giving Maggie a big smile because she loved these simple bickering moments between them two.

"Yeah yeah…"

The couple took their time getting clean in the shower, while also taking advantage of being naked and together in a close cabin together. Things never got that far as having sex, but some intense making-out and a bit more could never hurt right? In the end Alex and Maggie had to hurry up with getting lunch ready on time, knowing Kara would be there on 12am sharp if Supergirl duties didn't intervene.

…

Lunch had been quite enjoyable, Maggie and Kara being more comfortable and friendly around each other these days. The detective had explained that she really didn't have any problem with Kara, but that is was Supergirl who sometimes made her feel like she wasn't competent in doing her job properly. They had worked it out, mostly, both of them respecting each other jobs. Kara, as well as Maggie also needed to learn to sometimes share Alex. They both love the women so deeply, each in their own way, but back in the beginning it had been difficult to divide her time and attention between them. Kara soon realized how important Maggie was for Alex, and how the woman's love had made her sister life richer and more colorful. Seeing her sister like that made Kara just as happy even if that meant that she spends a little less time with Alex nowadays .

A little after 2pm Kara had left their house, leaving the women to start their cuddling-and-watching-movies marathon. Maggie was all ready for it! The woman had already changed into more comfortable clothes, some drinks and snacks ready on the coffee table and most importantly the softest blanket they owned draped around her body. Alex made quick work of getting herself ready, just needing to change pants before she cuddled herself around Maggie's body who was already laying on the couch.

"Hmmm, this is nice." Maggie voiced, currently hugging Alex from behind, her arms draped around her girlfriend's stomach.

"Yeah, we definitely needed this." Alex responded, squeezing her girlfriend's hand softly.

The DEO-agent was entranced by the movie they were watching, as well as loving laying here with the woman she loves. Maggie could see that Alex's attention was toward the movie, giving her the chance to look at the agent unshamefully, loving every single feature. Maggie knows she wants to talk to Alex about meeting her sister but decided that that conversation could wait a couple more hours. Spending time like this, all cuddled up together was more important now.

A couple of hours later, both Alex and Maggie were eager to move around a little, concluding they should start preparing dinner. It still allowed them to be close together but still be a productive as well. Alex mostly followed Maggie's instructions, realizing she would most likely never be a good cook. The detective on the contrary knew how to cook, like really really good. She loves to explore and try out new things, creating the most delicious dishes for them to try out. But because of both their busy work schedules that was something reserved from when they had time. The DEO-agent loves seeing the shorter woman preparing a meal, the dedication and concentration she put into making them making her even more attractive.

"You're staring babe." Maggie voiced, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"Shut up, I'm not." Alex replied, lightly hitting the shorter woman's bum.

"Owch…" The detective grinned, kissing Alex's cheek gleefully.

"Poor baby."

"Yeah, I love you too." Maggie answered.

The women worked in a comfortable silence afterward, finishing getting dinner ready. Once they were sitting at the table, food in front of them Maggie opened the conversation.

"Danvers, can I tell you something?" Maggie expressed a bit apprehensive.

"Sure, what's wrong?" Alex asked, seeing the uncertain look in her girlfriend's eyes.

"Nothing is wrong per see, there's just something I want to talk to you about." The shorter woman started. "My sister, she's coming to National City for work in a few weeks. We've been talking about meeting each other. I want to see her…" Maggie put into words, her voice sounding small.

"That's great honey, no?" Alex questioned tentatively, seeing the somewhat sad look on the other woman's eyes.

"I think so. You're not mad because I'm just telling you now?" Maggie asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"No I'm not Mags. Why would I?" The agent spoke tentatively, realizing the subject of family, even if it was something good, still a heavy topic for the shorter woman.

"Because I already knew for a week give or take."

"And that's completely okay. It's not because we are together that we have to tell each other every single thing the second we know about it. I want us to be honest and open with each other, but that doesn't mean you can't take your time to process things. Okay?" Alex declared, grabbing one of Maggie's hands in hers.

"Hmmm okay." Maggie whispered, looking down at their joined hands.

"Hey, it's pretty exited news no?" Alex questioned, trying to gauge Maggie's feelings about the future meeting.

"Yes."

Alex took a break from eating dinner, making her way toward the shorter women and kneeling down in front of her. "What are you thinking sweetheart?" The agent asked tentatively, placing her hands on Maggie's tights, squeezing them lightly while also trying to look into her eyes.

"I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think it's already too late. What if it doesn't turn out the way we both want to? I don't know if I could deal with yet another blow…" The detective put into words, Alex picking up the quiver in her girlfriend's voice.

"From what you've told me Mags, your sister seems like a good person and honest about her intentions with you and the relationship between the two of you. The first meeting may be a bit awkward or different from what you expect it to be, but I do believe it will be okay. And if not… I'm right here for you, always. You're not alone, not anymore." Alex expressed, lovingly kissing the tip of Maggie's nose, earning a little smile from the woman.

"I know, thank you."

"Come here." Alex voiced, tugging Maggie closer, hugging her tightly, despite the clumsy position they were in.

The DEO-agent could feel how Maggie was trying to keep her tears at bay, breathing deeply and slowly.

"Dinner is getting cold." Maggie murmured, willing to direct the conversation elsewhere.

"We can reheat if necessary." The other woman voiced, knowing that Maggie was pushing away her feelings.

Calmly Alex asked the detective to move her chair a little further away from the table, sitting on her lap afterward. The agent held her girlfriend for a long time, feeling Maggie's tight grip around her waist while resting her head on her chest. The agent could feel and hear how Maggie's breathing and heartbeat were slowly returning to normal, her eyes still looking teary.

"Sorry." Maggie whispered after a long time, looking into Alex eyes and only seeing love reflecting in them.

"Don't be sorry Mags."

"The whole thing makes me feel so scared, yet so excited. I feel so confused and I don't want to mess up Alex."

"You won't, I know you will not mess it up. Be yourself! If your sister doesn't accept you for who you are, than she doesn't deserve to be in your life. But I am so sure you two will hit it off and everything will go smoothly." Alex responded softly, tucking away some hairs behind Maggie's ear, kissing her cheek lightly afterward.

"Don't make me cry." Maggie breathed, giving Alex a shy look.

"It's okay to cry." Alex answered tenderly. "And it's okay to feel confused. I just want you to know that you can talk to me or cry or whatever. I'm here babe."

"I know, but it's not always easy to show you my feelings or talk about them even when I do trust you. I'm trying Alex, really but still…"

"I can see that you're trying Mags and for me that's what is the most important. We both still need to grow and learn that it is okay to lean on each other, but we will."

"Hmmm, thank you for understanding." …" Maggie whispered, smiling softly.

"Always! Come here, I feel like you need at least one more hug." The agent said softly, embracing her girlfriend in another tight hug.

…

"I will warm up our plates." Alex voiced after a couple of minutes, giving Maggie a moment to gather her thoughts and feelings.

"Here you go honey." Alex said, setting the shorter woman's plate in front of her, kissing her temple before sitting back down at her own place.

"Thanks."

The couple ended dinner mostly in a comfortable silence, Alex knowing that it was best to leave Maggie to her own thoughts for the time being. She would express more of her feelings or thoughts if she was ready but pushing her let to less communication most of the time. After cleaning the dishes and kitchen, the women ended once again cuddled up on the couch, a movie playing in the background. The agent was tenderly stroking Maggie's back, feeling her the detective was slowly relaxing more and more into her own body. Words were not needed to express that both women were thankful to have each other. Now and then, Maggie softly kissed Alex's face or neck, a way of telling her girlfriend that she was doing okay and was feeling thankful for Alex her support and understanding regarding the sister-subject. When it was time to head to bed, Alex spooned Maggie from behind, kissing the skin behind her ear.

"I love you Maggie. Please don't be afraid to be you."

Slowly Maggie turned around in bed, facing her lover. "You know that I love you back right? Like so so much." The shorter woman expressed, feeling a bit at lost for any more words. She hoped Alex was able to pick up the deep emotion and honesty behind her words. Never before had she felt so safe to express her thoughts and show someone her true emotions than with the woman in her arms.

"I know." Alex whispered, slowly but deeply kissing Maggie on the lips afterwards.

"Good night babe." The detective voiced, once again turning around, feeling how Alex quickly pressed her chest against her back.

"Night sweetheart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews are more than welcome!
> 
> Greets!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this first part. I you want me to continue this story, please leave a review behind. Thanks!


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